Precious Saturday quotations

Did you know that "quote" is actually a verb?  So that's why it's Saturday quotations - that's the noun form.  Okay, I'll put the English professor away now.  Quote as a noun is becoming accepted now anyway (much to my chagrin).  Moving along...

Yesterday the fam and I went to my godson's (little cousin's) 5th birthday party.  My cousin (his mom) always has themes for her kids' birthday parties; this one was a music theme so they had inflatable and real instruments for the kids to play with and a little stage area for them to perform, plus some musical chair-type games and a cake with a musical carousel on it.  Kids love making noise, so needless to say, everyone had a great time.

Quote #1 - "Tattoo!"

The kids all got press-on tattoos, like little rock stars. TJ's dad has tattoos so he already knew what they were and was very excited to have a tattoo, just like Daddy. He kept pointing at it, grinning, and saying, "Tattoo!" with the emphasis on the second syllable. So cute.

Quote #2 - "Boo!"

No matter how many times we play peek-a-boo, it never gets old. My sister said she's going to be playing peek-a-boo with him as he leaves for college.

Quote #3 - *Excited sucking sound*

Whenever TJ is excited about something, he sucks in his breath and makes this, "Eeee!" noise. He does this when he's on a swing or hears his dad on the phone.

Quote #4 - "Oh boy!  Wind up liederhosen!"

No, seriously. My godson, Erik (whom you may recognize as the ringbearer at my wedding) said this when he saw these toys with his birthday cake. The boys are half German and enjoy going to Oktoberfest and other similar festivals. Note: Erik is actually wearing liederhosen in this photo.

I vote the wind-up liederhosen as the quote of the day.

My nerdiness goes viral

I am a total podcast addict.  One of the podcasts I listen to is "Stuff You Missed in History Class" from howstuffworks.com.  (Seriously, the title alone makes me "shiver with antici....pation.  I loooove history.  And cult movie quotes.) Well, recently they asked for audience/blog reader suggestions for great innovators for a future podcast so I couldn't resist plugging one of my very favorite historical figures: Alexander Hamilton.

I've been listening to some other podcasts recently so I didn't realize that the SYMIHC ladies had posted their Fan Pick podcast.  Anxious to see who they chose, I had to listen to a little of it.  They first listed who they did not choose. You can listen to the podcast here.  At one minute 39 seconds (1:39), you will hear the host Candace (with an "a") talk about the suggestion from Candice (with an "i").  That's me!  That's me!  But listen to how she describes me.  Hrm.  Yeah, I kind of went on and on about all the things Hamilton did.  I did not mention, though, how handsome he was; she added that on her own (although, I'll note, she's right - he was totally the hottest founding father).

I am way too excited that I was name-dropped on this podcast.  How freakin' cool.  I love modern life.

The other podcasts I am totally addicted to:

CUNY lecture series

The Dog Trainer's Quick and Dirty Tips for Teaching and Caring for Your Pet

Modern Manners Guy Quick and Dirty Tips for a More Polite Life

MSNBC Countdown with Keith Olbermann (in case I miss it the night before)

MSNBC Rachel Maddow (ditto)

New York City History: The Bowery Boys

The Nutrition Diva's Quick and Dirty Tips for Eating Well and Feeling Fabulous

Podictionary

President Obama's Weekly Radio Address

Savage Love Podcast*

Stuff from the B-Side

Stuff Mom Never Told You

Stuff You Missed in History Class

Stuff You Should Know

This American Life (probably one of the most famous podcasts/radio shows in existence)

What does this list tell you?  That I'm addicted to personal narratives, trivia, seemingly-useless information, anything on How Stuff Works and the Quick and Dirty Tips network.

*I am new to the Savage Love podcast.  I know of Dan Savage from seeing him on Bill Maher but hadn't ever read his column or listened to his radio show.  Boy, was I missing out!  I've been catching up on the past two to three years worth of weekly podcasts and loving every minute of it.  It's been really eye-opening and educational.  Note: his show is not for the faint of heart, err, ear.  He addresses his callers' sexual and relationship concerns very bluntly and colorfully  - and I lurve it.

Dear Target cashier:

I know your concern is primarily for my health and safety.  I, too, would not like it if my bathroom cleaner somehow ended up mixing with my eggs and milk... or if it got on my magazine... or if my magazine somehow broke the eggs... or if the salsa crushed my sunglasses... But did I REALLY need FIVE shopping bags for: a pair of sunglasses, a magazine, two greeting cards, salsa, ice cream sandwiches, eggs, and milk?  I'm thinking hell and no.

Now, we really don't waste these plastic bags because they come in handy when we walk Oreo... but at this point, Oreo is going to have to develop a bowel problem in order to use all the bags we have attained. I know I took up time and space as I consolidated my bags myself and you probably thought I was insulting you by re-bagging everything.  Or maybe you thought I was stupid.  "That woman is sure to have her salsa break her eggs and then coat her magazine with the goo mixture."  Or maybe you were just annoyed that I was taking up space that another customer needed as he checked out.  But really, it worked out okay.  Nothing broke and he didn't need that space (and, by the way, how did he get away with no bags just because he only bought a couple of items?).

And I'm not really mad at you.  Really I'm more frustrated that I always forget to bring my reusable canvas shopping bags into the store.  Seriously, I forget EVERY time and they're right IN the car!  I know!  It has to become habit.  I'll work on it, I promise... but you need to work on your bag addiction or mixed-product phobia.  We're both unhealthy for the environment right now.

Sincerely, BP

My new crush makes me feel bad about myself.

Yes, I'm married and I have a crush, so what?  Did I mention it's a girl crush?  I'm totally and utterly infatuated, obsessed, and head-over-heels.  Except now, I feel worthless.  No, not because I'm married and have a girl-crush, but because (like all girl crushes) she is so much of what I want... to be. I am not that funny... I just don't think I could spin things the way she does.  And I'm probably no where near as fertile.

Damn you, Barefoot Foodie!

I've read back seven pages of posts so far, trying to stifle my snickering since I am at work and insist that the environment here be quiet.  I am so bleary-eyed that now I'm wondering if too much blog reading can wear out the LASIK procedure I had done several years ago.  Let's hope not; I don't earn that kind of money anymore. Don't believe me that she's that funny and addictive?  Click on the link and then on the tab for her most popular posts.  You'll be hooked.  (What am I now?  A pusher?  Great - I'm not funny AND I'm a pusher.) I'm going to go read a book now because I know I do that well.  So take that.

Melting, waiting for the third madcap

Melting, roasting, frying, wilting - call it what you want: it is warm in my apartment.  I cannot wait for it to rain tonight so it can drop twenty degrees.  80-90 degree weather is just not appropriate for spring.  Save it for summer, when I expect to be miserably warm.

I think the weather has been causing some madcap happenings.  On Saturday, as I was working on the company pot roast, I had the back door open so I could air out the kitchen.  The stove is right next to the back door, so I figured it would vent nicely.  The recipe called for fresh herbs, but I had dried so I went to the other room to check online for the equivalency.  As I was reading, the doorbell rings.  It's my neighbor saying, "I think we have your dog."  I look down and there's Oreo, staring up at me just like this:

As I surfed the web, she wandered out the back door and into the neighbor's yard, where they were having a children's birthday party!  I was so incredibly embarrassed.  I can barely get her to go out into the yard when I want her to and now she went out all by herself??  I am so glad she didn't wander out front to the street.  I hate to think about what could have happened.  She's such a good dog that I just trusted that she wouldn't go out.  I have to be much more careful.

So that's madcap occurrence number one.  Then there was last night.  It was pretty warm and the two fans we have in our bedroom make it just cool enough for me to sleep comfortably, which means it was probably at least 15-20 degrees too warm for the hubby to sleep comfortably.  Therefore, he tossed and turned all night.  Unfortunately for me, when he rolls over in his sleep, he practically launches himself up in the air and lands back down on the bed with such force that I ended up being jolted awake.  After several tosses and turns, the sheet was half off the bed so I was sleeping on the mattress.  In addition, the hubby had tangled himself up in the blanket.  I woke up chilly and aggravated, so I ripped the blanket out from under the hubby.  Somehow, though, I entirely underestimated my strength and pulled so hard that poor hubby ended up rolling out of bed!  It was like ripping out a tablecloth and having the dishes all go on the floor.  Oops!!  I woke up to a thud as his feet (I hope) hit the floor and he got back into bed, quite peeved. This is why #31 on my 101 in 1001 list is "Buy a bigger bed."  We seriously need a queen size.  But, bills first, bed later. 

Thankfully the temperature is due to drop tonight and the bed wars should subside.  Before the next heat wave, we'll go pick up our air conditioners from my parents' house. That was madcap incident #2.  I believe in things in threes, though, so now I'm just waiting for the third and hope it's nothing worse than these.  In the meantime, I am sitting very still, trying not to melt.

Trying to solve a smelly shoe problem?

I woke up this morning positive that, just like any other morning, I could have a bit of "me" time before trekking out with the pupper.  Alas, no such luck - Oreo was ready to go from the moment my feet hit the floor.  I do enjoy this ritual somewhat, though - there's something enlivening and productive about going outside within 60 seconds of waking up.  Plus, then I might not have seen this:

Now, that is a real shoe - it is not ceramic or clay or anything else you may ordinarily find flowers in.  I've never noticed it before and it has me a bit boggled.  Perhaps it's a piece of contemporary art?  "Potpourri in Workman's Boot"

By the way, I cannot say or think "potpourri" without doing so the way Eddie Izzard does (i.e. "pot-POUR-ee" instead of "PO-perr-EE").

Celebration Sphere

I think I want to light the apartment with celebration spheres:

Every day would be like a party!  "Good morning!  It's party time!"  "Dinner's ready!  It's party time!"

Or I might have just lost it and really need it to be the weekend (party time?).

Who's so crazy?

Today I got to babysit my 10-month-old nephew, TJ, for eight hours.  His paternal grandmother babysits him two days a week so she and that side of the family get to see him a lot more than we do, so I complained to my sister recently and she said we could babysit today.  She starts some grad school classes this week and so we're actually going to get to babysit him a little more so she has time for her schoolwork (her husband works long hours, manual labor, so really long days).  I'm very excited about this.  As I've mentioned before, he's the only kid I've ever really enjoyed and my enjoyment of him increases just more and more.

I've always thought that the time between around 8 months and 2-3 yrs old is the most fun and so far TJ proves it.  He's not walking on his own yet, but he can walk if he's pushing this stand-up toy car he has (one of those ones you can ride on, too).  He loves to be lifted up in the air or swung around.  If you go, "Who's so CRAZY??" he screams and bounces up and down.  If you say, "I'm gonna get you!!" he screams and crawls away.  He's just a world of fun and I cannot wait to have even more time with him - I just can't get enough!  Never have I enjoyed spending time with a child in this way.  If/when my hubby and I have kids, they'll have TJ to thank for their existence because he's really proved to me that kids are a joy, despite all the hard work.

That dazzling smile.

Amusing/obscene food at the supermarket

But if that wasn't funny enough... look a little more closely at the sticker...

The first picture doesn't do the squash justice.  It was the exact shape of the drawings you see on the wall of a men's room stall.  Mr. BP (Mr. Bookish Penguin aka the hubby) and I were hysterical in the produce section.  Good thing it was a bit later and the store wasn't too crowded.  I'm pretty sure one guy saw me taking the pictures and figured out why, though.  He didn't laugh.  Whatever.