What was downtown is now uptown... namely me.

Yesterday I went to Teachers College (Columbia University) for some admitted students activities.  It ended up being a mixed day.  As someone who has already completed a graduate degree, the ins and outs of grad school are old hat to me by now.  However, it was great to meet some current students, hear an alumna speak, and spend some time on campus.

I had my camera with me but, unfortunately, since it was raining, the campus tours were canceled and there wasn't much of a point to walking around and taking pictures.  There's a full orientation day in September and I was told the campus tours will be done then.  One of them was a tour of Columbia's historic cultural sites; I am super excited for that one! (There's a statue of Alexander Hamilton that I haven't yet had a chance to go see!)

What struck me early in the day, though, was how this represents a shift and continuum in my life.  I used to take public transportation into the city and head downtown to NYU.  Instinctively, I almost headed for the downtown trains but caught myself and made sure I was going uptown (similarly, when heading home, I had to remind myself that Port Authority was now downtown of me, not uptown).  But NYU used to have a Morningside Heights campus and Teachers College had classroom space in the Village, so it really is like my NYC schooling is linked and circular.  (I'll add that I started kindergarten in the Bronx, so this really is like a move towards my past and a move to the future at the same time.)

The highlight of yesterday, though, was getting to meet the woman who helped create Blue's Clues and who has also worked on Oswald and Little Bill.  (She's a TC alum.)  All that history and talk of registration and student loans and nitty gritty and it comes down to a bunch of Noggin shows, which is fine by me.  Someday my nephew will be impressed that I met her.  For now I'm just happy to be a student again and on the road to what should be the last stretch of my formal education.

Tiptoeing into the Ivy

So remember how I got into one grad school program but really wanted another one?  Well, I got into that other one.  This fall I will be working on my Master of Education (Ed.M.) at Columbia University-Teachers College.

Part of me thinks I'm plum crazy to get back on the grad school train, but I do have my reasons for this.  I do want more of an education credential.  Wherever my career ends up going, it's going to involve some sort of education administration; I don't doubt this.  Whether I stay with my current job for a while (which is education administration) or whether I decide to try teaching full-time (if I could ever get such a gig), there would always be administration involved.  The program I'm attending is Teaching of English, so I'll be studying the methods and theories behind teaching composition and literature.  This is absolutely perfect for me because I'll get to continue studying literature but I'll also learn how to be a more effective teacher - something I plan to continue working on for as long as I'm teaching.

When the hubby and I were deciding on wedding photographers, I narrowed it down to two.  The one we ended up not going with does some work for Columbia University and so he had us meet him at a coffee place right by the campus.  We walked through the campus to get there and I totally fell in love; I even dragged Tom into the bookstore and bought myself a sweatshirt.  As of late, I have worried about that sweatshirt; I knew that if I didn't get in, I wouldn't be able to wear the shirt anymore because it would make me too sad.  I just heard from Columbia last night so I haven't yet worn the sweatshirt since being accepted, but I know that when I put it on, it's going to feel different than the last time I wore it.

The email from Columbia came in at 5:21pm yesterday; I was still at work and, thankfully, alone.  My heart was pounding and my hands were sweating as I opened the email.  After I read the first line of the letter: "I am pleased to inform you that you have been admitted..." I let out a "WOO!" and pounded on my desk, like a drum roll.

And then?  I proceeded to cry.  This was it.  This is what I have worked so hard for over the past ten years.  I sent those monthly payments to my first college after dropping out so I could pay off my outstanding balance to them so they could release my transcript and I could transfer to another school and finish my degree.  I took 2-3 classes per semester, including summers, at night while working full-time during the day so I could finish my B.A..  I gave up a decent-paying job and moved two hours from everyone I know (including my then new boyfriend, who is now the hubby) in order to attend grad school.  I holed up and alienated nearly everyone over those B.A./M.A. years because I was driven and dedicated to doing the best that I could at all times.  I won a Teaching Assistantship and didn't treat it like a given or a free ride or something I always knew was mine. I worked hard, learning everything I could about teaching from anyone who was willing to talk to me (I have a particular fondness for my grad school friend Nadia, who taught me so much about teaching and navigating grad school).  I studied my ass off and earned high honors on my comprehensive exam.  I wrote my ass off and earned high honors on my thesis.  Without this, those would just be personal badges of honor.  I have a friend who says he read Moby Dick just so he can drop, "Oh, well, when I was reading Moby Dick" into conversation.  That would have been the worth of those honors.  I was most definitely proud of what I accomplished, but I now feel that it wasn't just for me.  I know that putting this all together helped me get into this program.

I always joke that I wanted to go to an Ivy League school since I first understood what the Ivy League was.  I fully understand and believe that I could get an equally good education at many schools, but I'm always working to make myself proud.  The first time I felt like this was the day of my undergrad graduation:

I worked hard; I was wearing honors tassels; I was graduating from a school I loved (and still love) so much.  That photo was taken at about 6am after only 3-4 hours of sleep, but I look rested and honestly happy.

The next time I felt proud was when I found out I earned honors on my comp exam and thesis.  I didn't find out about the thesis until the booklet from graduation (which I didn't attend) arrived in the mail with my diploma and nearly had to sit down as I saw the double stars next to my name.

And then there's today.  I can't wait for Orientation - to walk onto campus and be able to say to myself, "I belong here."