7 Quick Tuesday Takes - links edition

For this week's 7 Quick Tuesday Takes, I want to highlight some sites that I have recently stumbled across in my web browsings and am now totally in love with and addicted to.

1. Tumblr
What is Tumblr?  It's another social networking site, sort of.  It's kind of like a mix between Wordpress and Twitter.  It functions like Twitter in that you post a list of things which can be random and only related by the fact that you posted them.  You can have your blog feed in; you can link to Twitter, post pictures, links, anything.  How it functions for me is that it lets me post nifty or interesting things I find that I don't want to clog up Wordpress or Twitter with (even though I'm having Tumblr feed to Twitter, hm).  So far I'm enjoying it; we'll see where it goes.

2. The Sartorialist
Simply stunning fashion photography.  It's inspirational to me that there are people out there really trying to, as I see it, make themselves into art.  If we were food, they'd be five star cuisine and I'd be Wendy's.  Must work on this.

3. The Daily Puppy
Every day brings a new photo of an utterly adorable puppy that I want to take home and just hug until I fall asleep.  Seriously cute stuff (way cuter than Cute Overload, even).

4. This Week's Menu
This blog features the details and photos of the writer's (Andrea) meal plan for the week.  The photos are always beautiful and the food sounds totally scrumptious.  I envy the people who make a serious, full-week meal plan on a regular basis.  Must adopt that life skill.  (The first post on the page as of this blog entry is for Shells and White Cheddar with Fresh Corn, Thyme and Burst Tomatoes.  Excuse me while I lick my monitor.)

5. Pajamas and Coffee
This writer and mother of four is totally hilarious - AND she named her blog after two of my very favorite things in life.  (One day when I am at a loss for blog topics, I will post about my obsession with pajamas.)  Just go to her About Me Page (amusingly titled, "Who are you? Who? Who?") and read the descriptions of the "players" in her blog (i.e. her family members) to get a glimpse into her humor.  I haven't gone back and read old posts yet, but I will be at some point soon.

6. Mighty Girl
Yes, another Mommy Blogger (found her through Momversation) - but she and her blog are so much more than that, actually.  The whole picture is that she's Mighty Maggie - and she has the Mighty Closet, a great number of things to say, and the Mighty Life List (kind of like a 101 in 1001/bucket list) - which has recently been picked up and sponsored by Intel, no kidding!  Lucky gal!  Her pictures are great; her clothes are great; her ideas are interesting - what more could you want from a blog?

7. Food & Fizz
People submit their food and beverage photos to this site, then the site owners choose the best and post them daily.  They have a really helpful food tag cloud that lets readers find the posts that interest them or you could just click "Randomize" and see what you get.  It's an adventure every time! So I hope this was helpful and interesting and that you find at least one new site to read, explore, and possibly follow.

Note: I view all of these blogs (and many, many more) by using Google Reader.  No, Google is not paying me or forcing me or even encouraging me to point you their way (but, boy, wouldn't that be great to be paid by Google?).  Still, I highly, highly suggest that you get yourself logged in to Google Reader and use it to manage all the blogs you read. The bonus is that every day when you wake up, you get to log in to your Google Reader and see who's posted new blog entries.  It's like a little list of presents waiting for you, every day!  (Seriously, that is how it feels.  It's wonderful.)

Happy reading!

Precious Saturday quotations

Did you know that "quote" is actually a verb?  So that's why it's Saturday quotations - that's the noun form.  Okay, I'll put the English professor away now.  Quote as a noun is becoming accepted now anyway (much to my chagrin).  Moving along...

Yesterday the fam and I went to my godson's (little cousin's) 5th birthday party.  My cousin (his mom) always has themes for her kids' birthday parties; this one was a music theme so they had inflatable and real instruments for the kids to play with and a little stage area for them to perform, plus some musical chair-type games and a cake with a musical carousel on it.  Kids love making noise, so needless to say, everyone had a great time.

Quote #1 - "Tattoo!"

The kids all got press-on tattoos, like little rock stars. TJ's dad has tattoos so he already knew what they were and was very excited to have a tattoo, just like Daddy. He kept pointing at it, grinning, and saying, "Tattoo!" with the emphasis on the second syllable. So cute.

Quote #2 - "Boo!"

No matter how many times we play peek-a-boo, it never gets old. My sister said she's going to be playing peek-a-boo with him as he leaves for college.

Quote #3 - *Excited sucking sound*

Whenever TJ is excited about something, he sucks in his breath and makes this, "Eeee!" noise. He does this when he's on a swing or hears his dad on the phone.

Quote #4 - "Oh boy!  Wind up liederhosen!"

No, seriously. My godson, Erik (whom you may recognize as the ringbearer at my wedding) said this when he saw these toys with his birthday cake. The boys are half German and enjoy going to Oktoberfest and other similar festivals. Note: Erik is actually wearing liederhosen in this photo.

I vote the wind-up liederhosen as the quote of the day.

Is this really who we are?

1. Today, on the way to work, I passed a school bus that had a hanging tag in the back window saying that the bus had been checked for sleeping children. Seriously?  We need to proclaim that we did this?  Don't all bus drivers check their bus before getting off or driving somewhere?

2. At 2:26am I received a text message that my best friend's wife's water broke.  I've finally come to terms with the fact that most of my friends are/are getting married (including the fact that I'm married).  Now we're becoming parents?  I have plenty of acquaintances and pseudo-friends who are parents, but no one as close to me as this person - and now he's going to be a dad.  I cried on the way to work today, just thinking about it (tears of joy). They live out of state, but I'm going to be in their area tomorrow and Saturday so I'm hoping she has the baby before I head back home so I can meet the little gal.

3. My job allows no casual wear, ever.  No Casual Fridays, etc.  But today is a half-day and the last day before a full three-day weekend (a total rarity here), so I'm wearing jeans.  So there, take that. I'm a rebel, that's who I really am.  (Okay, really, I'm really not.  But sometimes I wear the pants.)

It Sucked and then I Cried

16. Read 30 books and blog about them. (10/30)

It Sucked and then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita
by Heather Armstrong

Heather is the incredibly amusing writer of the blog Dooce. Much like Rebecca Woolf's book, Rockabye, Heather's book reads a lot like her blog. Not being an original Dooce reader, I was not along for the ride when Heather was pregnant with her first daughter and went through significant post-partum depression. I assumed the book would give a coherent picture of that experience, but I have to admit that I was disappointed. At times, she will write something like, "And I was no longer throwing one gallon milk jugs at my husband's head" but I didn't recall being told she was doing that in the first place. I feel like the depression was a glossed over in the description of the time it was occurring and I also feel that her hospital stay lacked description. I don't know if this was a conscious choice because these were details she didn't want to include, a writing error, or she doesn't actually remember all of it. I do wish I knew because otherwise, then, I feel a bit disappointed and cheated.

That isn't to say the book isn't an enjoyable read; it most certainly is. However, where I would read Rockabye again, I don't think I would read It Sucked and then I Cried again. That said, I do think it should be required reading for pregnant women. I am very grateful that we have women like Heather out there, talking about these difficult events in women's (and the men/partners' who love them) lives.

The happy genius

My father is an amazing man and one day I will write something for him or about him that will do him justice.  For today, though, I will rely on one of my poet loves, William Carlos Williams, and a poem he wrote about himself.

Danse Russe
by William Carlos Williams

If when my wife is sleeping
and the baby and Kathleen
are sleeping
and the sun is a flame-white disc
in silken mists
above shining trees,-
if I in my north room
dance naked, grotesquely
before my mirror
waving my shirt round my head
and singing softly to myself:
"I am lonely, lonely,
I was born to be lonely,
I am best so!"
If I admire my arms, my face,
my shoulders, flanks, buttocks
against the yellow drawn shades,-

Who shall say I am not
the happy genius of my household?

Rebecca Woolf is my Oprah (but like new and improved)

16. Read 30 books I haven’t read before and blog about them. (9/30)

Rockabye
by Rebecca Woolf

I promise to make a concerted effort not to squee all over this post.  As stated in my previous post, I have a massive girl-crush on Rebecca Woolf.

Rebecca, long story short:
*Living the cool life in L.A., party girl, scenester
*Pregnant at 23 by guy she'd been dating for a few months
*Kept the baby, got married at 5 months pregnant
*Named son Archer (such a cool name and such a cute kid)
*Writes an awesome blog, Girl's Gone Child, and writes/participates in other sites (Babble, Momversation, HuffPo)
*Now married around five years and has a second child, an overwhelmingly cute daughter named Fable

I said to a friend the other day that Rebecca Woolf is about five years younger than me but I want to be her when I grow up.  Unfortunately, some of it is too late.  It's too late to have a wild time that I won't regret later.  It's too late to pursue everything I want, throwing caution to the wind - and I'm cautious by nature, so that would have never worked.  But I envy that ability of hers. She's naturally beautiful, but also impeccably stylish.  She even posted a makeup tutorial on YouTube (confession: I've been trying her eyeshadow technique over the past two days and love it so far; I even bought new mascara and am going to try some MAC stuff when I have a bit of cash to spare).  It's unfair how pretty she still is when she doesn't yet have any makeup on.  I always feel beautiful when my husband says the same thing about me, but I think he just hasn't seen her without her makeup on (and I'm not sharing).

I found Rebecca through Momversation, which I found through Dooce (whose book, It Sucked And Then I Cried,  I will begin reading tonight).  Rebecca so intrigued me that I went back in her blog archives and read through her whole blog, starting at the first post.  This took a few days and when it was over, I was sad that I couldn't get a new Rebecca fix anytime I wanted. 

So, I read her book. The book reads just like the blog.  If you don't like blogs or Rebecca's in particular, you will not like this book.  She's the type of writer who is totally relatable and who you don't feel bad about agreeing or disagreeing with.  For example, I have always hated the idea of L.A.  I've never been there - drove by it once, but that's it.  As a die-hard NYC fan, I do not have a pleasant opinion of L.A.  Rebecca changed that, though.  I have a respect for the city and those who live there that I didn't before.  I still don't love it, but can really understand why some do.

Rebecca's struggle is the balance of motherhood and individuality and independence - a struggle I have always anticipated myself having.  Her words have quieted many of my fears about wanting to have it all, although I take issue with her claim at the end of the book that one can have it all.  I think that it's been a bit easy for her (though she would laugh heartily at that claim) because she's driven, resourceful, and mainly a really talented writer who's had professional experience writing since she was a teenager.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have their one great talent be one that allows them to work from home - AND not everyone who has a talent like that has the luck or opportunity to make it work out that way.  It helps when you're beautiful and young, too.

But it all only makes me love her more.  She doesn't take anything for granted and feels very lucky to have what she does.  (Did I mention yet that her husband is hot, too?  Yeah, the luck.)  I even envy the names she chose for her children: Archer and Fable.  I'm seriously considering stealing the name Fable because it is the best female name I have heard in a long time.  I worry, though, that I'm just not cool enough to have a daughter named Fable... or that one day, should I be so lucky as to meet Rebecca, I'd have to fess up to stealing the name.  That would suck and ruin any chance at friendship, I'm sure.  (But in this instance, I swear to all that exists, imitation really would be the sincerest form of flattery.)

The thing about Rebecca is that she's truly inspirational.  This is going to sound crazy and beyond cheesetastic, but I feel like I've become a better person just in time since I read her blog and her book.  I feel funnier and kinder and happier.  I feel like she has so much gratitude for everything that it can't help but seep out and that some of it landed on me.  And what, for a writer, could be better than to be able to create change and affect a person?  Not much (other than maybe massive book sales).  And it's not that type of icky, annoying "I keep a gratitude journal" gratitude.  It's naked and honest and sometimes raw, but always beautiful.

So, you know, I know she and I aren't ever going to become BFF or something, but she's changed my outlook in a way that only those types of people can, which is incredible.  And she friended me on Facebook, so yeah, we're like already on the road to being BFF anyway.

One last thing... The last line of Rockabye: I twist my ring and it sparkles in the light of Archer's bedroom and everywhere I look there are rainbows. I don't know if she did this on purpose - she is a writer, so I do suspect she knows this poem - but, for me, this totally chimed of the last lines of Elizabeth Bishop's poem, "The Fish": everything was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow! (Full text of the poem here.  Do yourself a favor and read it; it's incredible.) Rebecca Woolf creates rainbows.

7 Quick Things... or Takes... or the Tuesday Seven, whatev.

I'm taking this idea from These Little Moments who, in turn, took it from Not That You Asked (which I think is one of the best blog titles I've ever heard - it's so simple yet SO perfect for nearly any blog - because, really, who's asking?).

7 Quick Things (it's more things than takes today) is perfect for me today because my head is utterly swimming with issues and concerns and preoccupations.  (And now I'm really interested in unpacking the word "preoccupation" - it's a job before a job or something that prevents a job... and my preoccupations prevent my work for sure.  Hm.  But I digress.)

One

My sister's dog died yesterday.  He was a stray that my brother-in-law rescued.  When he found the dog abandoned in a warehouse, he was all dusty so they named him Dusty.  The vet told them he was pretty sure Dusty had been significantly abused as a puppy and his jaw had definitely been broken, so for years they cooked soft foods for him like scrambled eggs and boiled chicken.  With time, he grew stronger and grew to love his daily cookies, even asking for them by saying, "I want one."  I swear, the dog talked.  "I want one" sounded like, "Ah wahn wun."  Honest.  He was sweet and loving, letting all the family kids flop all over him and play with his toys. TJ won't remember him but definitely missed him this morning.  He walked around the house with Dusty's regular morning cooking with his hand on his head, which is his sign for, "Where is it (he)?" We'll miss you Dusty.

Two

I feel unqualified to understand what is going on in Iran.  Yes, there was an election.  Yes, the results seem questionable.  Yes, people are rioting and protesting and lives are being lost.  But I feel like the lies told to the American people over the past decade have made us incapable of addressing this intelligently.  Lumping someone into an Axis of Evil doesn't really lead one to understanding.  All I know is that what is going on there both worries and frightens me and I can only hope that the Obama administration is being seemingly quiet on the issue for a good reason.

Three

Candidate Obama stated he was a "fierce advocate" of gay rights.  Soooo... whattup with that?  Yesterday his administration defended the Defense of Marriage Act.  I do not understand what's going on here and really hope they step up on this very soon, like... oh, well, like immediately.  This action and their general inaction is unacceptable.

Four

I nearly devoured a book last night: Rockabye by Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child.  After one evening of reading, I am on page 177 of 283. (I will be done tonight; I'd be done now if I wouldn't get in trouble for reading at work.)  There will be a longer post about her forthcoming, but long story short: she is my current girl-crush.  Like, if she was in BOP magazine, I'd have her picture all over my wall.  I think she is smart, gutsy, beautiful, stylish, funny, and truly inspirational - but really, more on her to follow.  (I am obsessed!) Have I mentioned that her kids' names are Archer and Fable?  Couldn't you just fall over?  I want to name my daughter Fable.

(BTW - check out her current blog post about gun control and the ensuing comments.  Good for her for standing up for gun control and the idea of keeping violent entertainment out of one's children's lives.  It's a shame that she had to close comments.  She even had to take down her Google ads because the posts caused them to switch to ads about guns and gun lessons.)

Five

I wish the ASPCA and State Farm weren't so adept at creating commercials that make me cry.  The woman who lost her home to a storm?  Crying.  The disheveled shih-tzu?  Crying.  They get me every time.

Six

Stuff about my job is going to change and I'm looking forward to it.  That's all I can say about that, though.  I'm not changing jobs, really - just the focus will be shifting and it's a positive move.  That's always a good thing.

Seven

I have a pear and a banana to eat as snacks today.  This makes me happy. Over and out.

Arma-gettin-outta-here

Somewhere around 2am or 3am, I was woken up by some frantic pawing at my side of the bed.  The culprit?  A very terrified little shih-tzu:

So I pulled her up onto the bed and she sat shaking between the hubby and I for who knows how long (I fell asleep).  There was a crazy thunder-and-lightning storm going on outside, which is the pupper's biggest fear.  Whoever says having a dog is good training for having a kid isn't far off.  It's like kid training wheels.  (Um, not that I have a kid, so maybe I'm wrong.  I guess I'll know one day.)

The storm stopped at some point and so I put Oreo back on the floor, where she was happy to go back to sleep.  Before my shower, I let her out into the backyard to do her business, which turned out to be a very good thing because about forty-five minutes later, the crazy storm started up again.  No matter where I went in the apartment, there was Oreo, sitting on my feet.  Picture me at the bathroom sink, looking in the mirror and doing my hair while a quaking 13 lb dog sits on my feet under the sink.  Poor puppers.  For her, storms like this clearly signal that it's the end of days.  So I deposited her back on the bed with the hubby before I left for work, reminding him she was going to need a good walk once Armageddon passed.

In honor of the storm of Armageddon today, though, here is one of my very, very, very favorite Eddie Izzard bits:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYeEdDVKA_o

Never ever fails to make me laugh.

Things I Miss Friday - play with your food edition

I miss having puzzles and games on my food.

I haven't found any "grown-up" (i.e. not sugar-laden) oatmeal packets with trivia questions on them.  As it is, I need to just buy some plain oats instead of the flavored oatmeal, so there goes the trivia entirely, but it got me thinking.

When I was little, I read all...the...time.  Every morning I'd read my cereal box, the milk container - whatever was around.  Same went for lunch time.  There was a short period of time where my siblings and I ate lunch at school (a rariety in my hometown - 99% of kids go home or out to lunch).  The school system doesn't have any cafeterias that serve food (just large rooms with tables that they call the cafeteria) so it was always a brown bag situation.

Now, what could be more boring than a brown bag lunch, right?  Ah, but that is where you'd be wrong.  Once my brother started school (so all three of us were in school), my mom went back to work nights and my dad worked during the day, so we always had a parent available.  What this meant, though, was that it was our dad that made our lunches at night for the next schoolday - and he was having none of that boring brown bag stuff.

My dad would make our lunches after we went to bed so what would be both in and on the bag would be a surprise.  That's right - on the bag.  What was on our brown lunch bag?  Word games!  He would take a black marker and draw word finds and crossword puzzles and word scrambles for us; the difficulty would change depending on whose lunch it was.  For my brother (since he was only five or six), he might have a 3-letter by 3-letter grid and have to find the word "dog" - which would be right across the top (one of the cutest things I ever remember from my childhood).

The best part about this is that it feels like an interpretation on a burgeoning family tradition.  My father's parents came to this country from Estonia (by way of Sweden) and spoke very little English (very, very little - like almost none).  Since in those days it wasn't as easy as it would be now to get things to read in Estonian, my grandfather would make up his own things, including his own crossword puzzles.  He would design a whole crossword puzzle in Estonian and then solve it.  (I'm guessing that the fun was more in the creation than the solving.)  I didn't know about this until long after he had passed away, probably twenty years after my last brown bag lunch, and didn't put this all together until a few more years after that.

I think this all contributes to my view that every moment of one's day can be a learning opportunity, but now I think it also chimes with the idea that food/mealtime should be fun and interesting.  My family always had lively mealtimes and I feel like my lunch bag games were a way of taking that with me to school.

Now I usually eat my lunch at my desk at work, as I think most working adults do.  We should all get out and play.

A question of marriages - gay, televised, and otherwise.

Recently I wrote about both gay marriage and Jon & Kate Plus 8.  Today I find myself thinking about both topics again as the Jon & Kate season premiere aired last night and then, today, the California Supreme Court announced it will uphold Proposition 8, banning gay marriage, but - but - upholding the gay marriages that took place before Prop 8.

Where to begin, right?

How about we start with John Tomicki of the New Jersey Coalition to Preserve and Protect Marriage, who stated that since NJ gay couples already have civil unions with all of the benefits, protections, and responsibilities of marriage, there's no need to change the terminology from civil union to marriage "other than to change the 'traditional' meaning of the term" (Fuchs, NJ.com).  If it's all the same, then why does the title matter to you?  And why is your organization's goal to "preserve and protect" marriage?  Would you like an arranged marriage?  Or perhaps you would like your wife to stay home, you know, as women should.  I hope she's not a high earner who is providing a significant portion of your household income.  And how about that dowry you paid to her father when you asked him for her hand in marriage?  How did that go?  Oh, oops, you didn't pay one?  If you're on board to preserve and protect marriage, you better be ready to have someone else define marriage for you.  Why do you get to define which stage of marriage gets protected and preserved?  I hope no one against gay marriage is in a biracial or multicultural marriage; you might just find yourself in the same place as the upheld gay marriages in CA today.

How do we get to Jon & Kate from here?  Well, it's clear to me that this is a specific marriage that needs protection and preservation.  Yes, when you sign up for a reality show, you invite a bit of speculation into your life.  But what I do not understand is how it remains legal for adult photographers (i.e. the dreaded paparazzi) to pursue, follow, and film children.  Wouldn't that get them questioned about child porn in some places?  And, to me, I do not understand how this "profession" is allowed to exist.  It clearly seems like harassment and I do not understand why there are no laws in the pipeline aiming to curb this (if there are and you are aware of this, please feel free to comment and correct my assumption).

The Jon & Kate Plus 8 season premiere made me remarkably sad.  As I stated previously, the hubby believed that the whole situation was probably made to look worse than it was and the episode would show that it's not as bad as the commercials were "dramatizing" it to be.  However, his silence and focused concentration during last night's premiere makes me think that he agrees that he was proven incorrect.  Jon and Kate seem to be barely speaking to each other and seem to not spend a lot of time together at home (or even in the same house together). 

Significantly, they both seem to be struggling with the care that eight children require.  Jon resents being left home with them while Kate goes on her book tour.  However, Kate took care of the kids by herself (well, with some help) for years while he worked (and he did state that he has help).  Kate then goes on to bemoan over and over (and over) how she has to plan the sextuplets' birthday party by herself.  Do you want an award for this?  Plenty of parents, both single and married, plan children's birthday parties by themselves.  You are not writing The Great American Novel or planning a Presidential Inaugural dinner.  This is a party, in a park, with cake and pinatas, for a group of five year olds.  Get a friggin' grip.

I believe they are both steeped in a lot of anger, but also a lot of fear.  I do not believe that either one of them has checked out of the marriage, as some people have intimated (specifically of Jon).  I believe they are both scared of feeling that possibility, especially in each other.  It seemed to me like neither one wanted to step up and admit that they might possibly want to work on their marriage.  Kate said this a bit, but more in the "I've done all I can and I'm now spent" kind of way - not in the "I'll go down fighting" kind of way.  They saved all of that for their kids, which is somewhat fair, but I really hope they take a step back and work on the marriage.

The fact that the downfall of their marriage is being pitched as entertainment disgusts me, as does the CA Supreme Court's decision today.  I don't believe that marriage is for everyone or every relationship, but I have found a lot of comfort in the support and security mine offers me.  I only wish that everyone else has the same opportunity if they want it and that, if they do so sign up, that they can endure marriage's ups and downs without a slew of photographers or hate speech following them.

Jon, Kate, Eight, and Us

The commercial for the season premiere of Jon & Kate Plus 8 makes me really sad (disclosure: okay, I've shed a few tears over it), but even more so when it's shown in conjunction with the past episode marathons that have been on recently.  It's painful to watch the progression of Jon & Kate as people, as a couple, as parents, and as celebrities. 

It's particularly worrisome to me because the hubby and I have always considered ourselves to be a lot like Jon and Kate and now it feels like if they could fail and possibly divorce, so could we. I know, they're a television couple.  But they're not fictional.  They had a real meeting, not unlike ours.  When asked when their relationship became serious, their answer is, "After the first date" which is also what we say.  They had a real engagement and a wedding that now makes me cry as I watch them promise things to each other that they seem to no longer be following through on.

I stood up for Kate long after people started bashing her parenting and attitude toward John.  The hubby and I have always found their relationship to be really amusing and, truth be told, the way they interact was extremely helpful for me in developing an understanding of how the hubby and I interact AND understanding that it's okay - that it won't all fall apart if you snipe at each other sometimes, even in front of the kids, or - gasp - in public.  And if they could handle eight, we could certainly handle one or two, seriously!

That said, it was apparent to me in the last (fourth) season that things had shifted.  Their bickering seemed less amicable and there was less apparent romance between them.  In addition, their life seemed increasingly less real.  They went on all these spectacular trips and no longer seemed to have any monetary concerns.  Part of the charm of the show was how they budgeted and managed on Jon's salary and how Jon balanced his job with his family life.  All of a sudden, though, that all disappeared - as well as any extraneous friends and family members who had been on the show, reportedly due to several falling outs.

The hubby thinks more has been made of Jon & Kate's problems than there really are, but I can't agree with him.  I think they have some serious problems right now and I hope they are able to reconcile their difficulties.  People scoff when one becomes concerned about a television or celebrity couple, but there's something about Jon & Kate that's always seemed extraordinarily real.  They made for great television because they weren't hiding anything, but it seems to me that they got caught up in their own celebrity and have been hiding behind those personas.  But now, as it crumbles all around them, I hope they find themselves again and the marriage I always admired so much.

My brother, the lawyer

74. Attend my brother’s law school graduation.

I spent the last four days in Miami.  Le sigh.  I have never been a big fan of Florida, but this was the best mini-vacation I have ever had.  Part of the reason for that, though, was all the time I got to spend with my brother AND the fact that he graduated with his law degree (J.D.).

This was not an easy road.  For the past three (plus) years, my brother has suffered from daily migraines and accompanying nausea, making it nearly impossible for him to ever study for more than 20-30 minutes at a time (something, oh, just vaguely necessary in law school).  Sometimes it was even difficult to just get out of bed. 

So, taking all of that into account, it is remarkably amazing that he was able to complete his law degree.  If you know me well, it is practically unnecessary to tell you that I cried through the graduation.  I think what my brother accomplished is greater than anything I will ever do.  I am so incredibly proud of him.

Next up: he spends the next two months studying, moves back to NJ sometime in July, and takes the NJ Bar Exam sometime near the end of July.  Of course, that is any hopeful lawyer's last big hurdle, and it's no walk in the park, for sure, but I have all the faith in the world in my brother.

And now, I am exhausted.  It has been a long first day back home (oil change, laundry, no time for a nap) and I must go back to work in the morning.  Oh, Miami, how I miss your warm air and cool breezes right now.

An email made me pause

A couple of days ago, I received an email that seemed normal, then startling, then fear-inspiring, then weird, then hopeful and happy.

What was it?

My regular tri-monthly reminder that it was time to renew my birth control prescription.

Totally on autopilot, I started thinking about what was in the bank and if I could afford to file the renewal at that moment.  Then it dawned on me: I wasn't going to be renewing the Rx because we're actually going to TRY and conceive instead of actually working to AVOID conception. Whoa.

So over dinner last night, I started with, "Uh, so, I got this email..." and ended with, "So, uh, are we really going to start trying?  Like, do I really not renew the prescription?"  And it turns out, after all this time of the hubby being more sure about this than me, now I'm the one who's more sure and he's the one who's a bit scared - not scared in the "no, we should wait" way but in the "wow, having kids at any time is going to be scary" way. 

We talked about our plans for the apartment and I told him about the recent Momversation episode about birth plans and what I think mine would consist of.  We talked about how a baby would fit into our lives - or what I think our lives will look like a year from now - all while kind of laughing in my head because I know it's not that you fit a baby into your life - it's that you fit your life around the baby. I definitely think there's something to timing and feeling that you're ready.  I used to hate shows like A Baby Story and mommy blogs... and now I can't get enough of mommy blogs and have caught myself watching an episode or two of A Baby Story.  Meanwhile, I no longer have the patience for wedding/bridal-related shows and sites, something I couldn't get enough of this time last year.

Life is a beautiful, scary, awe-inspiring journey.  There are so many great things one can do in life: travel, learn, explore, ponder, love... but there's nothing as unretractable (is that a word?) and permanent as having a child, which is probably why it's so fear-inspiring to those not yet initiated and such a constant and glowing topic of conversation amongst those who have.  We're not trying yet (really, not yet - I promise) but I'm definitely more excited about the prospect than I ever have been before.  Still scared, but kind of in a good way.

It's not easy, quoth the grandmother.

There was an interesting article in the NY Times a couple of days ago about how Michelle Obama's mother, Marian Robinson, is adjusting to life in Washington D.C.  I believe there are so many families in this country who rely on grandparents to help them make ends meet, both financially and in their daily lives, and that the idea is not really discussed often enough.  I like that Ms. Robinson is becoming more of a national talking point, or that grandparents in general are.

My little fur baby, Oreo, was quite sick last week.  I still don't know what it was, but starting on Monday she had diarrhea and it lasted through the week, actually getting worse throughout the weekend.  I brought her to my parents' house on Sunday while I did laundry and asked if they could watch her for us while we went to see the Wolverine movie.  They did and then offered to watch her for another day or two since my mother is home all day and could keep an eye on her (Oreo was going outside nearly every hour on Sunday so I was very worried about her dehydrating).  She seems to have fully recovered now, thankfully - but it made me realize how glad I am that both the hubby and I have our parents around in the event that we need help.  Granted, right now, that help mainly entails offering up a free meal and laundry machine usage once a week, but even that is nothing to sneeze it; we appreciate it greatly.

My grandmother is a legend in our family (but whose isn't, right?).  Many years ago, after my grandfather died of cancer, my grandmother declared that, "Everyone has cancer in them - it just matters how you live."  Not many years later, scientists theorized the same thing - that we all have the potential for cancer in our DNA but that it's our life circumstances and habits that determine whether or not it's expressed.  Now, for a woman who grew up in the Ukraine and never went to school a day in her life, that's pretty incredible.

 

But nothing tops her most used and well-loved phrases:  "It's not easy" (sometimes also known as "Life's not easy") and "You do what you can."  Often these are used in tandem, for example:

Grandmother: How's school? Me: Good.  I like it a lot.  It's a lot of work and I don't get to see my friends a lot, but it's good. Grandmother: Yeah, it's not easy but you do what you can.

Bingo, bam, slam dunk.  The phrases work in so many situations and we have all found ourselves using them on occasion and giggling when we hear other people use them.

But they're both remarkably true and that's the simple beauty to them, the sort of simplistic, truthful beauty that can't be learned in school.  Yes, life is not easy.  Nothing worth something is.  And, yes, you do what you can.  Of course, that one could almost be overlooked - of COURSE we all do what we can.  But the beauty is deeper.  What constitutes can?  As an educator, I am frequently faced with students who think they're doing all they can but once you show them how just a little bit more effort pays off, they realize they can do so much more.

My grandmother marched through Europe during WWII, moving from country to country with my grandfather, with nearly nothing to their name, picking up five languages along the way, although she knew how to read none.  They moved to Argentina and then later to the U.S. when my mother was a baby.  Perhaps that's why I have a broad view of what one can do - because my grandmother showed me a whole world of can.

When my grandfather died, she was 63 years old and still did not know how to read.  My mother set her up with a literacy teacher and, with help and time, she learned to read for herself.  Now nearly 85, she has been living on her own for twenty years, managing her house, shopping, medications, and daily life.

I feel like what I can do pales in comparison to what her generation was able to do.  My family history drives me to do what I can because that's what you do: you do what you can because it's not easy.

What can you do?

Told you so

I've said a bazillion times that my nephew TJ totally looks like my dad.  I've thought it from the first pictures of him in the hospital when he was born.  Well, yesterday my dad put together a picture of himself and TJ, side by side:

Okay, they're not twins but... can't you see the resemblance???  I think it's uncanny... and I also think I'm super lucky to have such good looking men in my family.

PS - My dad grew up in Sweden.  Hopefully that sufficiently explains his outfit (which I think is super cute).