7 Quick Thursday Takes

So, okay, I usually do 7 Takes on Tuesday (because I'm an alliteration addict) but this has been an odd week, mainly due to events at work that are far too boring to even bother getting into. 

So onto the seven:

1. I have to do some in-class presentations next week and absolutely LOVE that the presentations are now narrated wmv files instead of Powerpoint slides that I have to narrate.  Basically, I get to go into the class, hit play, and smile.  I don't mind giving presentations (I do it all the time, plus I teach) but these tend to be a bit dry and happen either first thing in the morning or last thing in the evening, so it's nice to have it be a passive activity.  (I'm lazy, whatever.)

2. Last night the hubby, his brother, and I had dinner at Bobby's Burger Palace, Bobby Flay's sort-of-fast-food restaurant.  It was super, super good.  The burger I had isn't on the menu because it's the monthly special: the Mulberry Street Burger, which will sound familiar to you if you watch The Next Food Network Star because it was the winning burger in a recent challenge.  It has mozzarella and basil on it (and other stuff I forget).  It was sooooo very yummy.

3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (the film) comes out next week but IMAX doesn't have it scheduled until July 29th.  WHAT???  I think I might actually go see it in the local (non-IMAX) theater this weekend and then go see it again when the IMAX one is out - because I am that obsessed.  (Did I mention my grad thesis was on Harry Potter?  Yeah.  It's a way of life.)

4. I have another internet idol (idol #1 being Rebecca Woolf of Girl's Gone Child, of course).  I love Slices of Life because it is exactly what it promises - a slice of this woman's life.  Every day she posts a picture of what she's wearing, where the pieces are from, what she has packed for lunch, and what the plan for dinner is.   For many of us, I believe that really is one of the largest "slices" of our life.  Sure, based on feelings, our spouses and children and families and friends are far more important, but life is just as much about the daily in-and-out details and sometimes making those wardrobe and food decisions are just as taxing and annoying as an overwrought conversation.  I love the idea and wish I thought of it first so I could make a "Slice of Life" page on this blog.  Darn.  I never have the good ideas first.

5. I hate when people thank me for speedy email replies when it took me more than an hour to respond.  Why are there still such low expectations for email?  Are you really amazed that you emailed me yesterday at 3pm and I responded at 10am today?  I actually felt bad about how long it took me to reply.

6. I never mentioned visiting my best friend's new daughter, Madison.

Her dad, Mike, has been one of my best friends since I was 20 (so almost 14 years now, crazy to think about) and was my "Man of Honor" at my wedding.  When I got to their house, he was out walking the dog so I hugged his wife (who is also my good friend, of course) and squee'd over Madison.  When he walked in the house, though, I burst into tears and said, "Damn.  I knew I was going to cry when I saw you."  It was just so emotionally moving to see this friend I grew up with (because, really, we grow up in our 20s) as a father now.  It was so wonderful and I can't wait to be a part of Madison's life as she grows up.

7. I want to write a book.  Is that crazy to think I can do that between my two jobs, grad school, housework, and future family raising responsibilities?  Probably - but I still want to do it.

I have off on Fridays for the summer, so today is my Thursday-pseudo-Friday.  Hurrah!  What's better than a few extra minutes of shut-eye on a Friday morning?

MeMe me me meeeee . . . Award!

The lovely Lori at I Can Grow People has bestowed a MeMe Award upon me.  What is a MeMe?  (Other than a really fun thing to say over and over again, pretending that you're an opera singer warming up at the Met?)

Basically, I have to share seven things with my readers that they (you!) don't know about me and then choose seven of my readers to pass the MeMe Award onto. Let me tell you, this is harder than it seems!  I'm a pretty open person, so there isn't a lot that I'm hiding (and what I'm hiding, I'm hiding for good reason!).  I've spent the past two days trying to think of things that I haven't mentioned before AND are even slightly, remotely interesting.  It's harder than it first seems, but here goes!

1. I have a wretched memory.  There probably isn't a day that goes by that my husband doesn't pick on me for this.  I don't remember anything before I was five years old and don't have solid, great memories until age ten or so.  Beyond that, I don't remember recent things, either.  I like to chalk this up to space conservation; I remember what is important to me.  I like to point out to my husband that he may remember taking apart and reassembling his mother's toaster at age 3, yet he doesn't remember to pick up his socks on a daily basis.  I'd rather pick up my laundry than remember my toddler years.

2. I sort of proposed to my husband before he proposed to me.  We had discussed getting engaged/married but I was still gun-shy about the whole she-bang.  But one day at lunch I told him that I believed we should get married.  After lunch we went and picked out a ring together, which he then took home and proposed to me with two weeks later - longest two weeks EVER!  (Especially the whole "pretending I didn't know about it" to my family part.)

3. Pregnancy grosses me out.  I successfully avoided touching any pregnant bellies until my sister-in-law forced me to touch hers last year.  Just thinking about it makes me want to gag.  I recognize that the creation of life is pretty amazing and the whole process is kind of like a fun science experiment; I just wish I didn't have to be the petri dish.  (No, I'm not pregnant and, no, we're not trying yet.  I'm just surrounded by pregnant women and infants lately so it's always on my mind.)  It doesn't help that....

4. I am a mommy blog addict.  I religiously follow Momversation and a bunch of mommy bloggers, most notably Girls Gone Child (the amazing Rebecca Woolf - yes, I'm still obsessed), Dooce, and Mighty Girl.  Between them and the experiences of my real-life friends and relatives with babies, I have to seriously bite my tongue sometimes around moms because I want to offer my opinion on baby-raising, but feel unqualified to because I'm not actually a mom - just an aunt and avid reader.  I try to take my mommy blog knowledge and use it to make myself a more understanding friend to my mom friends.  Hopefully someday it also helps make me a good mom.

5. I feel like I've lost my personal style.  I think I had more style before my gastric bypass than I do now because now I'm sad about how I look, whereas then it was just a fact of my life that hadn't ever been any different.  I was developing a fun style, I think, when I was thin but then I started gaining weight and it all ended.  I actually feel now like one of those people who's given up, something I'd never guess of myself.  I don't have the money to go out and buy anything, much less all the things it would take for me to feel better about how I put myself together every day, so I'm doing a lot of thinking lately about how I can turn this situation around.

6. You do not want to have anything to do with me if I have not had my morning coffee.  Seriously.  The hubby even bought me a sticker for my car that says, "Give me coffee and no one gets hurt."

7. My graduate thesis was on Harry Potter.  I figured that if I was going to write a 60 page paper, it was going to be on something I didn't mind living and breathing day in and day out for a whole semester.  Long story (paper) short, the argument in it is that many of Harry's decisions and actions are subconsciously based on his orphan status and how he's always looking to recreate the family he lost, even sometimes to the detriment of the other characters.

Ta-da!  Don't you feel so informed now?  And now it is time for me to pass on the MeMe Award to seven blogger readers I'd love to hear more from and think you should check out:

1. "D" at Delightfully Sweet - One of the best home chef/bakers I know.  I really envy her kitchen abilities and absolutely love her food photography.

2. Amy at My Right To Dream - One of my dearest friends and a constant source of inspiration, comfort, and humor.  One of the most giving and accepting people I have ever met.

3. Erin at Thirty-Something - I love Erin's blog because everything she writes about is so interesting and her voice is so clear.  I really feel like she puts her own self out there in her writing, but without ever over-sharing or being boring.  Her concerns (family, career, home, life) are all so close to my own, so perhaps I'm a bit biased.

4. Tara at Tara SG's 101 Mission - I love her 101 list.  She's always writing about and linking to great books, places, recipes, etc.  I particularly enjoy her goal of learning new French words and idioms.

5. Teanna at Spork or Foon - Is that not one of the best food blog titles?  She makes great food look easy AND beautiful.

Numbers 6 and 7.... could be YOU!  While I seem to get the same number of readers daily, with occasional spikes seemingly based on content or random events in the universe, I don't get a lot of comments (as much as I'd love many, many comments). So I throw this out to you, dear reader - take this MeMe Award and bestow it upon yourself!  I say that you can!  My only request is that if you do so based on this post, that you put a link to my blog in it so that it pings back and I can find the post.  Fair deal, right?  If you do this, I'll repost your link as #6 or #7.  :)

All together now: Meme me me me me meeeeeeee!  *glass cracks*  (Anyone else watch that episode of Mythbusters?)

Is this really who we are?

1. Today, on the way to work, I passed a school bus that had a hanging tag in the back window saying that the bus had been checked for sleeping children. Seriously?  We need to proclaim that we did this?  Don't all bus drivers check their bus before getting off or driving somewhere?

2. At 2:26am I received a text message that my best friend's wife's water broke.  I've finally come to terms with the fact that most of my friends are/are getting married (including the fact that I'm married).  Now we're becoming parents?  I have plenty of acquaintances and pseudo-friends who are parents, but no one as close to me as this person - and now he's going to be a dad.  I cried on the way to work today, just thinking about it (tears of joy). They live out of state, but I'm going to be in their area tomorrow and Saturday so I'm hoping she has the baby before I head back home so I can meet the little gal.

3. My job allows no casual wear, ever.  No Casual Fridays, etc.  But today is a half-day and the last day before a full three-day weekend (a total rarity here), so I'm wearing jeans.  So there, take that. I'm a rebel, that's who I really am.  (Okay, really, I'm really not.  But sometimes I wear the pants.)

It Sucked and then I Cried

16. Read 30 books and blog about them. (10/30)

It Sucked and then I Cried: How I Had a Baby, a Breakdown, and a Much Needed Margarita
by Heather Armstrong

Heather is the incredibly amusing writer of the blog Dooce. Much like Rebecca Woolf's book, Rockabye, Heather's book reads a lot like her blog. Not being an original Dooce reader, I was not along for the ride when Heather was pregnant with her first daughter and went through significant post-partum depression. I assumed the book would give a coherent picture of that experience, but I have to admit that I was disappointed. At times, she will write something like, "And I was no longer throwing one gallon milk jugs at my husband's head" but I didn't recall being told she was doing that in the first place. I feel like the depression was a glossed over in the description of the time it was occurring and I also feel that her hospital stay lacked description. I don't know if this was a conscious choice because these were details she didn't want to include, a writing error, or she doesn't actually remember all of it. I do wish I knew because otherwise, then, I feel a bit disappointed and cheated.

That isn't to say the book isn't an enjoyable read; it most certainly is. However, where I would read Rockabye again, I don't think I would read It Sucked and then I Cried again. That said, I do think it should be required reading for pregnant women. I am very grateful that we have women like Heather out there, talking about these difficult events in women's (and the men/partners' who love them) lives.

Rebecca Woolf is my Oprah (but like new and improved)

16. Read 30 books I haven’t read before and blog about them. (9/30)

Rockabye
by Rebecca Woolf

I promise to make a concerted effort not to squee all over this post.  As stated in my previous post, I have a massive girl-crush on Rebecca Woolf.

Rebecca, long story short:
*Living the cool life in L.A., party girl, scenester
*Pregnant at 23 by guy she'd been dating for a few months
*Kept the baby, got married at 5 months pregnant
*Named son Archer (such a cool name and such a cute kid)
*Writes an awesome blog, Girl's Gone Child, and writes/participates in other sites (Babble, Momversation, HuffPo)
*Now married around five years and has a second child, an overwhelmingly cute daughter named Fable

I said to a friend the other day that Rebecca Woolf is about five years younger than me but I want to be her when I grow up.  Unfortunately, some of it is too late.  It's too late to have a wild time that I won't regret later.  It's too late to pursue everything I want, throwing caution to the wind - and I'm cautious by nature, so that would have never worked.  But I envy that ability of hers. She's naturally beautiful, but also impeccably stylish.  She even posted a makeup tutorial on YouTube (confession: I've been trying her eyeshadow technique over the past two days and love it so far; I even bought new mascara and am going to try some MAC stuff when I have a bit of cash to spare).  It's unfair how pretty she still is when she doesn't yet have any makeup on.  I always feel beautiful when my husband says the same thing about me, but I think he just hasn't seen her without her makeup on (and I'm not sharing).

I found Rebecca through Momversation, which I found through Dooce (whose book, It Sucked And Then I Cried,  I will begin reading tonight).  Rebecca so intrigued me that I went back in her blog archives and read through her whole blog, starting at the first post.  This took a few days and when it was over, I was sad that I couldn't get a new Rebecca fix anytime I wanted. 

So, I read her book. The book reads just like the blog.  If you don't like blogs or Rebecca's in particular, you will not like this book.  She's the type of writer who is totally relatable and who you don't feel bad about agreeing or disagreeing with.  For example, I have always hated the idea of L.A.  I've never been there - drove by it once, but that's it.  As a die-hard NYC fan, I do not have a pleasant opinion of L.A.  Rebecca changed that, though.  I have a respect for the city and those who live there that I didn't before.  I still don't love it, but can really understand why some do.

Rebecca's struggle is the balance of motherhood and individuality and independence - a struggle I have always anticipated myself having.  Her words have quieted many of my fears about wanting to have it all, although I take issue with her claim at the end of the book that one can have it all.  I think that it's been a bit easy for her (though she would laugh heartily at that claim) because she's driven, resourceful, and mainly a really talented writer who's had professional experience writing since she was a teenager.  Not everyone is lucky enough to have their one great talent be one that allows them to work from home - AND not everyone who has a talent like that has the luck or opportunity to make it work out that way.  It helps when you're beautiful and young, too.

But it all only makes me love her more.  She doesn't take anything for granted and feels very lucky to have what she does.  (Did I mention yet that her husband is hot, too?  Yeah, the luck.)  I even envy the names she chose for her children: Archer and Fable.  I'm seriously considering stealing the name Fable because it is the best female name I have heard in a long time.  I worry, though, that I'm just not cool enough to have a daughter named Fable... or that one day, should I be so lucky as to meet Rebecca, I'd have to fess up to stealing the name.  That would suck and ruin any chance at friendship, I'm sure.  (But in this instance, I swear to all that exists, imitation really would be the sincerest form of flattery.)

The thing about Rebecca is that she's truly inspirational.  This is going to sound crazy and beyond cheesetastic, but I feel like I've become a better person just in time since I read her blog and her book.  I feel funnier and kinder and happier.  I feel like she has so much gratitude for everything that it can't help but seep out and that some of it landed on me.  And what, for a writer, could be better than to be able to create change and affect a person?  Not much (other than maybe massive book sales).  And it's not that type of icky, annoying "I keep a gratitude journal" gratitude.  It's naked and honest and sometimes raw, but always beautiful.

So, you know, I know she and I aren't ever going to become BFF or something, but she's changed my outlook in a way that only those types of people can, which is incredible.  And she friended me on Facebook, so yeah, we're like already on the road to being BFF anyway.

One last thing... The last line of Rockabye: I twist my ring and it sparkles in the light of Archer's bedroom and everywhere I look there are rainbows. I don't know if she did this on purpose - she is a writer, so I do suspect she knows this poem - but, for me, this totally chimed of the last lines of Elizabeth Bishop's poem, "The Fish": everything was rainbow, rainbow, rainbow! (Full text of the poem here.  Do yourself a favor and read it; it's incredible.) Rebecca Woolf creates rainbows.

7 Quick Things... or Takes... or the Tuesday Seven, whatev.

I'm taking this idea from These Little Moments who, in turn, took it from Not That You Asked (which I think is one of the best blog titles I've ever heard - it's so simple yet SO perfect for nearly any blog - because, really, who's asking?).

7 Quick Things (it's more things than takes today) is perfect for me today because my head is utterly swimming with issues and concerns and preoccupations.  (And now I'm really interested in unpacking the word "preoccupation" - it's a job before a job or something that prevents a job... and my preoccupations prevent my work for sure.  Hm.  But I digress.)

One

My sister's dog died yesterday.  He was a stray that my brother-in-law rescued.  When he found the dog abandoned in a warehouse, he was all dusty so they named him Dusty.  The vet told them he was pretty sure Dusty had been significantly abused as a puppy and his jaw had definitely been broken, so for years they cooked soft foods for him like scrambled eggs and boiled chicken.  With time, he grew stronger and grew to love his daily cookies, even asking for them by saying, "I want one."  I swear, the dog talked.  "I want one" sounded like, "Ah wahn wun."  Honest.  He was sweet and loving, letting all the family kids flop all over him and play with his toys. TJ won't remember him but definitely missed him this morning.  He walked around the house with Dusty's regular morning cooking with his hand on his head, which is his sign for, "Where is it (he)?" We'll miss you Dusty.

Two

I feel unqualified to understand what is going on in Iran.  Yes, there was an election.  Yes, the results seem questionable.  Yes, people are rioting and protesting and lives are being lost.  But I feel like the lies told to the American people over the past decade have made us incapable of addressing this intelligently.  Lumping someone into an Axis of Evil doesn't really lead one to understanding.  All I know is that what is going on there both worries and frightens me and I can only hope that the Obama administration is being seemingly quiet on the issue for a good reason.

Three

Candidate Obama stated he was a "fierce advocate" of gay rights.  Soooo... whattup with that?  Yesterday his administration defended the Defense of Marriage Act.  I do not understand what's going on here and really hope they step up on this very soon, like... oh, well, like immediately.  This action and their general inaction is unacceptable.

Four

I nearly devoured a book last night: Rockabye by Rebecca Woolf of Girls Gone Child.  After one evening of reading, I am on page 177 of 283. (I will be done tonight; I'd be done now if I wouldn't get in trouble for reading at work.)  There will be a longer post about her forthcoming, but long story short: she is my current girl-crush.  Like, if she was in BOP magazine, I'd have her picture all over my wall.  I think she is smart, gutsy, beautiful, stylish, funny, and truly inspirational - but really, more on her to follow.  (I am obsessed!) Have I mentioned that her kids' names are Archer and Fable?  Couldn't you just fall over?  I want to name my daughter Fable.

(BTW - check out her current blog post about gun control and the ensuing comments.  Good for her for standing up for gun control and the idea of keeping violent entertainment out of one's children's lives.  It's a shame that she had to close comments.  She even had to take down her Google ads because the posts caused them to switch to ads about guns and gun lessons.)

Five

I wish the ASPCA and State Farm weren't so adept at creating commercials that make me cry.  The woman who lost her home to a storm?  Crying.  The disheveled shih-tzu?  Crying.  They get me every time.

Six

Stuff about my job is going to change and I'm looking forward to it.  That's all I can say about that, though.  I'm not changing jobs, really - just the focus will be shifting and it's a positive move.  That's always a good thing.

Seven

I have a pear and a banana to eat as snacks today.  This makes me happy. Over and out.

An email made me pause

A couple of days ago, I received an email that seemed normal, then startling, then fear-inspiring, then weird, then hopeful and happy.

What was it?

My regular tri-monthly reminder that it was time to renew my birth control prescription.

Totally on autopilot, I started thinking about what was in the bank and if I could afford to file the renewal at that moment.  Then it dawned on me: I wasn't going to be renewing the Rx because we're actually going to TRY and conceive instead of actually working to AVOID conception. Whoa.

So over dinner last night, I started with, "Uh, so, I got this email..." and ended with, "So, uh, are we really going to start trying?  Like, do I really not renew the prescription?"  And it turns out, after all this time of the hubby being more sure about this than me, now I'm the one who's more sure and he's the one who's a bit scared - not scared in the "no, we should wait" way but in the "wow, having kids at any time is going to be scary" way. 

We talked about our plans for the apartment and I told him about the recent Momversation episode about birth plans and what I think mine would consist of.  We talked about how a baby would fit into our lives - or what I think our lives will look like a year from now - all while kind of laughing in my head because I know it's not that you fit a baby into your life - it's that you fit your life around the baby. I definitely think there's something to timing and feeling that you're ready.  I used to hate shows like A Baby Story and mommy blogs... and now I can't get enough of mommy blogs and have caught myself watching an episode or two of A Baby Story.  Meanwhile, I no longer have the patience for wedding/bridal-related shows and sites, something I couldn't get enough of this time last year.

Life is a beautiful, scary, awe-inspiring journey.  There are so many great things one can do in life: travel, learn, explore, ponder, love... but there's nothing as unretractable (is that a word?) and permanent as having a child, which is probably why it's so fear-inspiring to those not yet initiated and such a constant and glowing topic of conversation amongst those who have.  We're not trying yet (really, not yet - I promise) but I'm definitely more excited about the prospect than I ever have been before.  Still scared, but kind of in a good way.