March 19th, a year

One year ago today I flew from Newark to San Francisco to present some of my Harry Potter thesis at the Popular/American Culture Association's national conference.  As I exited the SF subway, I noticed a woman from my plane who seemed to be looking for the same hotel I was looking for.  We started talking and shared the walk together.  I admired her suitcase, which could spin in any direction.  Several months later, I registered for the same ones and now own the set and will use one when I go to my next conference (in Albuquerque in a few weeks). I checked in to the hotel and went out to grab some snacks.  I was too tired to go to any conference sessions that afternoon so I just planned to get some cheap food and camp out in my hotel room and watch TV.  As I settled in with my 7-11 goodies, my cell phone rang. "Congratulations Auntie!!!!!"  My mom was calling to let me know my sister had given birth.  Then, next: "It's a boy!"  I was shocked, absolutely shocked.  I was convinced she was going to have a girl.  (My sister is one of those "annoying" people who likes to be surprised by what she's having - something I will never understand.)

So, a year ago today, my first nephew, TJ, came into the world:

To say he changed my life would be an understatement.  Before TJ, I wasn't really a fan of children.  I didn't dislike them entirely, but I just didn't see the enjoyment in them.  Most of them either bore or annoy me.  TJ, though, is fascinating.  When he was an infant, I could just sit and look at him for hours.  I found myself panicking about whether or not he was still breathing as he napped.  I didn't care if he peed on me or puked on me (both of which he's done, especially the puking).  I feel like I would go to the ends of the earth for him - and he's not even my child.

Until TJ, I had never held a newborn.  It had been probably ten years or more since I changed a diaper.  I had long since believed that I would be fine never having children of my own.  TJ changed all that.  Newborns not only no longer make me nervous, but I'm actually interested in them (even if I still believe they're not all that interesting themselves since they don't really do much).  As much as the idea of being pregnant is admittedly kind of gross to me (the whole thing really grosses me out), I now know it's something my husband and I are going to try for in a couple of years.

After I graduated, my sister had to go back to work (maternity leave was over) and so my mom and I watched TJ every day until the school year was done (my sister is a teacher).  Every day I'd talk to him and make faces and watch him try to imitate sounds as I changed his diaper and played with him.

I look at my sister differently now.  She was always a kid magnet - kids are seriously drawn to her and she's really great with them, better than I know I'll ever be.  Watching her as a mother, though, made the whole thing significantly less scary to me and a whole lot more real.

And then he started to do all sorts of things.  He had been smiling and imitating sounds and faces.  All of a sudden, he could sit up on his own.

And he started to love playing peek-a-boo (still does).

Then the time came for all sorts of new things:

And then the big moment... the time everyone waits for: walking.

The year wasn't without trials and tribulations, though.  TJ had to be on special formula and Zantac for almost his whole first year because of his acid reflux and other digestive issues (refer back to: lots of puking on Auntie).  These issues caused many ear infections, which finally necessitated having tubes put in his ears.

One ear was nearly 100% full and the doctor believes TJ wasn't hearing anything out of that ear.  The other ear was about 60% full, so he probably didn't hear enough at all.  Yet, amazingly, his hearing seemed good and he's picked up a bunch of words: mama, dada, eat, more, again, night night, nana, balloo (balloon)... I think his vocabulary is going to explode as his ears drain.

Through it all, he has been an unfailingly amusing, chipper, entertaining, happy kid who seems older than his months.  I can't believe a whole year has passed.  I finally understand now what they mean when they say it all goes by so quickly.  Maybe I understood that the time went quickly, but I didn't understand why anyone would care.  Isn't that first year just full of poop and puke and sleepless nights and losing touch with friends and your own identity and free time?

No.  Well, maybe some, in some ways, but not in the "your life goes down a black hole" kind of way.  Yes, your life changes in ways that will never reverse.  Yes, you have to possibly re-evaluate who you are now, adding "parent" to your identity.  You not only swap something you enjoy doing for feeding someone else, but come to realize you do so happily.

I had no understanding of the joy that children can bring and how it SO significantly outweighs the difficulties and personal sacrifices.  I still think I'm that person that doesn't like a lot of children and will always prefer my own or those related to me far above any other child, but thanks to TJ, I have a whole new understanding of how amazing babies and children are and what they can bring to your life and your understanding of how life works.

And all this in just one year.  He's one amazing kid.  Happy Birthday Mr. Wonderful.

Comments

[Lori]

What a great post! Happy Birthday to your nephew!