For Thanksgiving dinner, my family goes around the table and says what they're thankful for.  There are always some laughs and always some tears.  It was particularly hard the past few years while my brother was away at law school and couldn't come home for the holiday because it was right before final exams.  My sister is hosting this year, but the hubby and I are going to his parents' house for dinner and then to my sister's for dessert.  (What to make, what to make??)

On Thursday I'll post what I'm thankful for this year (as if it wouldn't be easy to figure out) but today I wanted to note some less obvious things I'm thankful for - things inspired by the students I work with.

I may harp on some of the ideas they have or less-than-brilliant things they do or say, but I don't acknowledge often enough what some of them go through.

1) Yesterday one student was telling her friend she just found out she's pregnant, but she can't tell her mother because her mother would probably push her down the stairs.  The reason for this?  "She thinks kids ruin your life; like, she's always telling me how I ruined hers."  That just broke my heart.  I'm grateful that everyone I know is happy and positive about my pregnancy.

2) The same newly-pregnant student was telling her friend how she was so relieved that her fiance reacted happily to the news.  I never thought twice about how the hubby would react to this pregnancy.  I knew he'd be happy and nervous and somewhat scared, just like me.  I'm so grateful, so very grateful, that I already knew I had him to count on for this.

3) One student I know very well was recently evicted from his home - he, his mom, and his brother - and he's in charge of arranging things like that, so he had to quickly find a new home for his mom and brother, meet with landlords, sign the lease, and so on.  It's a lot of responsibility for someone who's 21 or 22.  I'm grateful that he's wise enough and mature enough to shoulder that responsibility.  I'm not sure I could have at that age.

4) It's a commuter campus (no dorm) and some students spend all day on campus, even when they don't have class, because they don't have anywhere else to go.  They don't want to be home because it's not a pleasant situation and they don't have any friends or family they can rely on.  They don't have a place they can call "home."  In addition, some of these students also don't have cars and so they are at the mercy of the public transportation system and their friends' availability for rides.  I haven't always had the most reliable cars, but I always had friends to help me out and I always, always had somewhere I could go.  I always had a home I could count on and several other "homes" I could go to in case I didn't want to be at my own.

5) Their comments and conversations often indicate just how sheltered their life has been - and I don't mean sheltered in the privileged, everything handed to them kind of way.  I mean sheltered as in not given enough opportunities to learn about and explore the world beyond their hometown.  Last week two students (not mine) were talking about the food donation box at school and wondering why someone would donate mac 'n cheese.  "How is a homeless person going to make mac 'n cheese?  It's not like they have water to boil it.  What are they going to do, crunch on the shells and lick the powdered cheese?"  I was really aggravated to hear this, but I also felt sad because clearly the students had no idea that a large number of people who frequent food pantries and soup kitchens these days do have jobs AND homes; they just can't afford their home and food, so they pay the rent but there's nothing in the refridgerator.  I thought about saying something to the students, explaining this to them, but I didn't . . . and every day since, I wish I had.  I'm glad my parents raised me to be aware of the varying levels of hardships there are in the world and to know that it's not black and white.  It's not that you're homeless and poor or you have a home and you're set.  You can have a home and still be struggling and hungry.  I'm sure some of my other students know that personally.

6) I wrote once before about how a couple of female students were discussing the Chris Brown/Rihanna abuse (around the time it happened) and I was shocked to hear them say it was a shame because their relationship was "a real fairytale" and that what happened between them was nobody's business but their own because "you know, like, sometimes a bitch needs a beat-down."  It makes me so immensely sad that these girls believe this.  I can't help but think it's something they learned growing up and I'm so glad I was taught to have respect for myself and it was nobody's place to touch me without my permission.

7) I'm grateful these students are in college.  I don't work at top tier schools, but that's okay by me.  In fact, I actually like it better that way. I know college isn't for everyone and it's clearly not for some of the students I know/have known.  But they're trying.  They know they need to work hard and have goals, whether the path to those goals is through college or not.  I'm glad that despite the other hardships or misinformation in their lives, they have come away with this much.