Bookish Penguin

Entries in things that make me laugh (8)

Saturday

Aug282010

What verb do you shower?

Saturday, August 28, 2010 at 11:09AM

The other day, someone I follow on Twitter said they were going to go "have a shower" which had that weird "Hm, that doesn't sound right to my ears" feeling, like the shower was equivalent to a sandwich (which I suppose is possible, depending on how many people you have in there, but that's a whole other blog post (and not mine)). A friend of mine always says, "I'm going to get a shower" like her house came without one and she has to go purchase one daily. I say, "I'm going to go take a shower" which obviously sounds fine to me but, now that I really think about it, sounds like I'm about to steal a shower from someone else's home, making me far worse than the friend who "gets" hers in a clearly more civilized, less forceful, brutal way.

Other times "I'm going to go hop in the shower" which must indicate a cheerier day than the ones in which I say I'm going "to go grab a shower" which kind of sounds like assault.

So how do you verb your shower? (Or bath. Don't want to be exclusionary here.)

Candice |

8 Comments |

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Wednesday

Aug112010

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: my baby Burt Reynolds

Wednesday, August 11, 2010 at 6:00AM

Yesterday I posted a picture from Nate's three month professional photo session. It's adorable, happy, and precious.

But there was also this one:

Tell me this one doesn't say, "Heyyyy ladies, wanna check out my crib?" Tell me I'm not going to have to worry about his future dating life and I'll tell you that I ordered a print of this picture just so it can be the one that goes in his senior yearbook.

Candice |

Welcome, the Ides of March

Monday, March 15, 2010 at 11:51AM

I once had a bad(ish)-but-in-a-funny-way Ides of March. March 15th fell on a Saturday my junior year of college. The details now are a bit hazy (as some of that time period is) but basically I left a party early because I had to get up for work at 7am on Sunday (I worked at a drugstore), only to be woken by a dorm fire alarm at 3am, still feeling the effects of the party I had been at earlier. (NB: If you didn't go away to college, you have to imagine that middle of the night fire alarms are a common, but still annoying occurrence. You get up, in your pajamas, wrap yourself in your blanket, and go stand outside, all bleary, with your friends until someone tells you that you can go back in. On a night like this, you'd spend the time outside convincing your friend, no, you cannot go back to the party; you need to sleep for work.)

Then, after work the following day, I typed out the whole funny story for friends - except I ended up mistyping one of their email addresses and sent the whole tale to a very staid and nerdy classmate, who wrote back to let me know and thanking me for the laugh. I avoided her for a week. (Or more than I usually did. She was the type of nerdy that looked like it didn't shower regularly, not the cool kind of nerdy.)

Okay, so anyway, it wasn't a terrible Ides of March. But, you know, having to get up at 7am because you have to walk two miles to work by 8:30am on a Sunday as a college student is bad, period. It was for me, anyway. The cheery part was that Mike (best friend and thrower of said party I left early) got up early and drove me to work (and picked me up and took me out for coffee after my shift ended). He's always been a great guy.

So I never fear the Ides of March - if anything, it makes me look for the funny little things that go wrong. So far today has been fine. The only issue has been someone practicing their drumming on the other side of the wall of the library/tutoring center I work at. Yes, seriously - drumming. I called to complain and they said it must be the Verizon guy doing work. I told them that he should be complimented on the rhythmical nature of his work as well as his excellent cymbal use, then.

I know drumming when I hear it, people. 1 - I've been to a zillion concerts. 2 - My brother-in-law is a drummer. 3 - Who doesn't know the difference between drumming and telecom work????

Thanks, Ides of March, for that frustrating chuckle.

But a stranger today gave me an odd look when I told him I've been driving for almost 20 years. He said, "You cannot be older than 24 or 25." "34, actually - so, driving 17 years." "I would never think that. Good for you!" So, Ides, seriously thanks for that. Feeling young and springy now.

Candice |

3 Comments |

tagged

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Friday

Feb192010

Love Means Tracking Each Other by GPS

Friday, February 19, 2010 at 7:57AM

The hubby has a new love in his life: his Motorola Droid.

{source}

It does all sorts of nifty things, like say, "Drooiiiiid" when he turns it on. That's about all I can describe since 1 - I haven't actually ever touched the Droid and 2 - even if I did, I wouldn't know everything it could do.

But the other day I got an email from the hubby inviting me to join Google Maps Latitude. Long story short, this lets you see where each other is on Google Maps by a GPS signal that your phone sends out.

No, those aren't our friends. Yes, I wish we were in Sweden.
{source}

Sound creepy and Big Brother-ish? Yeah, I thought so, too. But as I said in my Newlyweds interview, the hubby and I have no secrets. I don't need to hide from him if I go shopping at lunchtime. If for some reason I was secretly buying something for him and he asked why Latitude said I was at the mall, I could easily make up a short-term white lie.

So I signed up and I have to admit, it's been kind of fun. It's not like I sit there all day watching the map, seeing what he's doing (since, really, we're mostly just at work every day). But there's a little glitch with it, it seems - sometimes it appears that Latitude gives the location of your nearest cell tower, not your actual location based on the GPS in your phone. So the other night I was at home but it said I was elsewhere. Yesterday the hubby was at home, but it had him at a local hotel.

Hmmm. Yes, I believe he was home... even though the hotel is half a block from a strip club. When we first set this up, I said I'd be more likely to have to ask, "Are you at Guitar Center again??" rather than "Are you at Shakers again??" (And don't get me started on the name "Shakers" for a strip club. Yuck. Although it's better than another local establishment of the same type - named "Wet." Ew. That makes me gag.)

So this GPS stuff isn't for the weak, that's for sure. I could imagine couples getting in quite a few raging arguments based on a location given by a cell tower. And I don't intend to share my location with anyone else, but I foresee this feature being useful if one has a child with a cell phone. Even if the location is slightly off, it still would give you a basic idea of where he or she is.

Unless, of course, you have a child who figures out how to hack the GPS and program in a specific location. That will probably be my son.

Candice |

2 Comments |

tagged

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Monday

Jan182010

Cake or death?

Monday, January 18, 2010 at 10:31AM

Saturday night, the hubby and I had the best date night we've had in quite a while: we went into NYC to grab dinner and see Eddie Izzard at Madison Square Garden.

little Eddie in front of big Eddie

After weeks of bone-chilling cold, this weekend was the perfect winter weekend to head into the city. We happily walked along in winter coats, perfectly comfortable - not too warm, not too cold. We had dinner at a little Irish pub (alas, no drinking for yours truly since The Force is not old enough for a brew).

After dinner, we walked over to MSG and took our (super awesome) floor seats for Eddie. I adore Eddie, but I'll be completely honest here: this show wasn't as funny as the DVDs of his I own (and I would assume many or most of you have seen). He did the show in two acts and, while both acts were funny, the second act was definitely funnier. It was a lot of his standard "if I had created the world, I would've..." type stuff, including a new schtick on Moses and the arc. Funny stuff, to be sure, but not as funny as I think he used to be.

However, no one found him less funny than the couple sitting to my right. They laughed a total of three times: once at a Sarah Palin joke and twice at two George W. Bush jokes. That's it.

Seriously? I'm saying he's not as funny as he used to be, but my face still hurt from laughing by the time the show was over (so, of course, more/less funny is relative). If you haven't ever watched Eddie Izzard, you have been robbed of some serious funny. I highly recommend checking out:

Dress to Kill

Glorious

Definite Article

If you've happened to catch Eddie Izzard before, you've probably seen Dress to Kill. It won two Emmy awards and has been on HBO a zillion times. You also probably recognize the tag line from the shirt the hubby so wonderfully bought for me at the merch stand:

Death, please. No, wait, cake!

I can't wait to wear the shirt. It doesn't fit well right now (it's a bit snug and unflattering), but I'm hoping to lose weight later this year (baby weight plus some) so then it will.

Eddie released a film last year, Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story (in limited release), that, unfortunately, I did not get to see (wah). However, it comes out on DVD next month! It is beyond a must-buy!

The last time he had a big set of DVD releases, he did a signing at the (now defunct) Virgin Megastore by my old job:

Hoping he does that again!

Candice |