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Entries in things that make me laugh (5)

Friday
19Feb2010

Love Means Tracking Each Other by GPS

DateFriday, February 19, 2010 at 7:57AM

The hubby has a new love in his life: his Motorola Droid.

{source}

It does all sorts of nifty things, like say, "Drooiiiiid" when he turns it on.  That's about all I can describe since 1 - I haven't actually ever touched the Droid and 2 - even if I did, I wouldn't know everything it could do.

But the other day I got an email from the hubby inviting me to join Google Maps Latitude.  Long story short, this lets you see where each other is on Google Maps by a GPS signal that your phone sends out.

No, those aren't our friends. Yes, I wish we were in Sweden.
{source}

Sound creepy and Big Brother-ish?  Yeah, I thought so, too.  But as I said in my Newlyweds interview, the hubby and I have no secrets.  I don't need to hide from him if I go shopping at lunchtime.  If for some reason I was secretly buying something for him and he asked why Latitude said I was at the mall, I could easily make up a short-term white lie.

So I signed up and I have to admit, it's been kind of fun.  It's not like I sit there all day watching the map, seeing what he's doing (since, really, we're mostly just at work every day).  But there's a little glitch with it, it seems - sometimes it appears that Latitude gives the location of your nearest cell tower, not your actual location based on the GPS in your phone.  So the other night I was at home but it said I was elsewhere.  Yesterday the hubby was at home, but it had him at a local hotel.

Hmmm.  Yes, I believe he was home... even though the hotel is half a block from a strip club.  When we first set this up, I said I'd be more likely to have to ask, "Are you at Guitar Center again??" rather than "Are you at Shakers again??"  (And don't get me started on the name "Shakers" for a strip club.  Yuck.  Although it's better than another local establishment of the same type - named "Wet."  Ew.  That makes me gag.)

So this GPS stuff isn't for the weak, that's for sure.  I could imagine couples getting in quite a few raging arguments based on a location given by a cell tower.  And I don't intend to share my location with anyone else, but I foresee this feature being useful if one has a child with a cell phone.  Even if the location is slightly off, it still would give you a basic idea of where he or she is.

Unless, of course, you have a child who figures out how to hack the GPS and program in a specific location.  That will probably be my son.

AuthorCandice | Comment2 Comments |
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Monday
18Jan2010

Cake or death?

DateMonday, January 18, 2010 at 10:31AM

Saturday night, the hubby and I had the best date night we've had in quite a while: we went into NYC to grab dinner and see Eddie Izzard at Madison Square Garden.

little Eddie in front of big Eddie

After weeks of bone-chilling cold, this weekend was the perfect winter weekend to head into the city.  We happily walked along in winter coats, perfectly comfortable - not too warm, not too cold.  We had dinner at a little Irish pub (alas, no drinking for yours truly since The Force is not old enough for a brew).

After dinner, we walked over to MSG and took our (super awesome) floor seats for Eddie.  I adore Eddie, but I'll be completely honest here: this show wasn't as funny as the DVDs of his I own (and I would assume many or most of you have seen).  He did the show in two acts and, while both acts were funny, the second act was definitely funnier.  It was a lot of his standard "if I had created the world, I would've..." type stuff, including a new schtick on Moses and the arc.  Funny stuff, to be sure, but not as funny as I think he used to be.

However, no one found him less funny than the couple sitting to my right.  They laughed a total of three times: once at a Sarah Palin joke and twice at two George W. Bush jokes.  That's it.

Seriously?  I'm saying he's not as funny as he used to be, but my face still hurt from laughing by the time the show was over (so, of course, more/less funny is relative).  If you haven't ever watched Eddie Izzard, you have been robbed of some serious funny.  I highly recommend checking out:


Dress to Kill


Glorious


Definite Article

If you've happened to catch Eddie Izzard before, you've probably seen Dress to Kill.  It won two Emmy awards and has been on HBO a zillion times.  You also probably recognize the tag line from the shirt the hubby so wonderfully bought for me at the merch stand:


Death, please.  No, wait, cake!

I can't wait to wear the shirt.  It doesn't fit well right now (it's a bit snug and unflattering), but I'm hoping to lose weight later this year (baby weight plus some) so then it will.

Eddie released a film last year, Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story (in limited release), that, unfortunately, I did not get to see (wah).  However, it comes out on DVD next month!  It is beyond a must-buy!

The last time he had a big set of DVD releases, he did a signing at the (now defunct) Virgin Megastore by my old job:

Hoping he does that again!

AuthorCandice | CommentPost a Comment |
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Wednesday
21Oct2009

Things overheard at various schools this week

DateWednesday, October 21, 2009 at 10:57AM

Scene: in the elevator

Student 1: You know what's weird?

{everyone looks at student}

Student 1: The first person to get on the elevator is always the last person to get off.  Weird, right?

{everyone looks at student}

Student 2: You know what's weird? People who talk in elevators.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: school hallway

Student 1: I'm so glad I feel better, but I still can't breathe that, you know, way.

Student 2: What way?

Student 1: You know, the way you breathe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Scene: quiz

Question: What is inferential reading comprehension?

Student Answer: When you start to put facts and ideas together to make your own conclusions and generations.

(It's just a typo on the student's part, but it's amusing none-the-less.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Today I am at work for 11 hours for some test proctoring.  I wonder if I'll be around for anymore gems like these.

AuthorCandice | Comment1 Comment |
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Monday
28Sep2009

7 Quick Tuesday Takes

DateMonday, September 28, 2009 at 12:46PM

1. When my nephew, TJ, eats or drinks something too quickly and starts coughing, my sister says, "Easy there, Gagatha Christie."  Makes me laugh so hard every time.

2. As a sometimes teacher (and student), I find myself planning ahead to roughly the 2nd or 3rd week in December, when my fall classes will end.  This has me looking at the week of December 21 in my datebook and thinking fondly of Christmas.  Every January it seems like it's going to be forever until the next Christmas season.  But now, I'm making plans for that week and wearing a sweater because the air is crisp today . . . and just already getting excited for my favorite time of year.

3. But before I can get there, I have to get through this semester/quarter.  Today was the first day of class for the course I'm teaching at my full-time job.  I was a bit nervous about teaching at my main place of employment because there's so much at stake if I don't do well.  But I'm a firm believer that being nervous about something just makes you work harder and, therefore, do better.

4. I am finding myself rooting for the people I thought I wouldn't like on Dancing with the Stars.  Last night's performances from Aaron Carter (ewww) and Donny Osmond were super impressive.  I find myself understanding what was so appealing about Donny in the 70s; he's really quite charming when he turns on the showman.  Aaron, well, he looks like Draco Malfoy's not-as-cute brother (I'm being nice) and I've never read anything nice about him, but his Muppets dance was just super fantastic... but it might just have been the music.

5. Maks can really be a bitch.  He's one hawwwwt bitch, but still a bitch.

6. Tomorrow evening I'm flying to Colorado for work for two days to give a presentation at a tutoring conference with my boss.  It's weird sharing a hotel room with your boss, but not unbearable.  She's a great person (I'm very lucky) so the only weirdness comes from my own weird feelings about, well, sharing a room with my boss.

7. I have to work until 1pm tomorrow and then leave for the airport at 3pm.  I am not packed yet, shocker.  I think what I'm going to miss most is my new bed.  Oh, no wait, I mean the hubby!  I'll miss the hubby!  And the dog!  And, really, the bed.

AuthorCandice | Comment2 Comments |
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Monday
14Sep2009

I'm the map!

DateMonday, September 14, 2009 at 12:12PM

My utterly adorable nephew TJ (who I may have mentioned once or twice), loves the map from Dora the Explorer, specifically the song the map sings:

Of course, I find this totally hilarious.  My sister, who has had to listen to this song probably a million times in the past two weeks, does not.  (Confession: I had to seriously squelch a whole lot of laughing just watching that little video while prepping this post.  Confession #2: I watched it three times. LOL)  My nephew sings along, "I'm the map, I'm the map, I'M THE MAAAAAAAP!!!!!"  It's so cute and funny that I can think of it at any moment I'm down and I start laughing.

So on Sunday when the hubby and I went to the Star Trek Exhibition at the Franklin Institute (totally awesome, by the way) and he asked where something was, I was like, "Hellooooo, you have the map."  And then I couldn't resist: "I'm the map, I'm the map, I'm the maaaaap!"  It's totally addictive.

Well, today is my turn.  Today is what I'm calling "Grad School: The Sequel."  (Going back for a second graduate degree.)  I've only been on campus twice, so naturally I'm a bit concerned with finding my classes, getting my ID, and so on... and so I have the campus map printed and in my bag.  I said earlier that I feel like a young freshman who keeps the campus map in her pocket but doesn't want to be seen looking at it.

Of course, now, if I do have to sneak a look at it, I'm going to look like a total loony-tune because I'll be smiling and laughing to myself about the map song.

So, go ahead, watch that video and try not to have that song stuck in your head.  We'll talk about the backpack another day (backpack, backpack . . . backpack, backpack, I'm the backpack).

AuthorCandice | Comment2 Comments |
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