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Entries in television (5)

Wednesday
20Jan2010

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and caldron bubble...
~Macbeth (Shakespeare)

That's me, stirring the pot.

Yesterday I posted a piece at WeAreTheRealDeal (WATRD) about the scrutiny of the actresses at this past Sunday's Golden Globes Awards show.  Turns out CNN called Heather, the founder of WATRD, and interviewed her about the whole brouhaha.  (Get it?  Cauldron/pot, stew, BREW - haha?  Okay, fine, I'm a cornball.)

Anyway, check out the post.  Heather updated it with her comments and the remainder of my post follows. 

Tuesday
12Jan2010

7 Quick Tuesday Takes

1.  This past Friday gave us a brand new episode of What Not to Wear, featuring Courtney, a woman who lost 170lbs through gastric bypass surgery.  I wrote about the episode over at We Are The Real Deal. I looooove WNTW so I was super excited for this episode and did enjoy it.  It wasn't perfect, but it was quite good - and so far I really like and appreciate the reader comments.  Getting feedback on my writing is so cool.

2.  There are a slew of commercials getting on my nerves lately.  I probably could do a list of seven of those on their own, but that would turn out sounding cranky, so I'll just mention: the sneaker commercials that spend most of their time focusing the camera on a woman's ass (it's a great ass, I'll admit, but the commercial is so objectifying that it's maddening); the sandwich commercial where the guy says to the woman, "You know I'm checking out your two, right?" meaning her two lunch choices, of course; and the cereal commercial where the mom goes on a diet because she gets stuck in a children's chair (Dear cereal company: a grown woman's hips are not meant to fit in a children's arm chair).  There are many more, but those three are the most maddening right now.

3.  To follow-up on yesterday's post, I'm happy to report that Oreo has been a super happy dog in the past two days (i.e. since we took Buster back to my parents' house for the week).  So, okay, she's not thrilled when he's here, but she's not showing any indications of permanent trauma.  Good sign.

4.  This Saturday the hubby and I have tickets to see Eddie Izzard at Madison Square Garden.  I bought these tickets last June and have just been holding onto them.  I can't believe the show is finally here!  And it means a trip into the city, yay!  Maybe we can even do dinner in the city, like a real grown-up couple with free time and a few dollars.

5.  I won a $5 Amazon giftcard from Tara over at 25 Hour Books, which I used today to order Michael Pollan's latest book, Food Rules: An Eater's Manual.  I still have to read The Omnivore's Dilemma, but In Defense of Food remains one of my very favorite books I've ever read.  I think everyone should read it.  Michael Pollan does really great work in food awareness - how what we eat affects our bodies and the world.

6.  I didn't watch The Bachelor premiere (why would I) but I can't help but stumble upon stories about the bachelorette who "cheated" on the Bachelor with a crew member.  She says nothing happened, and I understand this is generally against the rules on any reality show, but what's bugging me about this is the labeling of her as a cheater:

Bachelor Jake Pavelka, who claims he has never been cheated on, was shocked by the news. (US Weekly)

Guess what US Weekly and Bachelor - you still haven't been cheated on!  You're dating 25 women and one of them is rumored to have become friendly with a crewman and this is now cheating?  The hypocrisy here is staggering and disgusting.  It's not like the show was ever a great example of feminist thinking, but this is just beyond the pale.

7.  Yesterday I tweeted that "All web surfing roads lead back to Etsy."  No matter what I do, I stumble across links to Etsy - and then I get lost in the Etsy pool for hours.  This year is my big "house into a home" project/resolution, so I think next year will be the year I get my personal style back into shape.  It really tanked when I went to grad school and gained weight.  I had little reason to get dressed nicely most of the time and, as I put on weight, I just got depressed and felt like nothing looked good (I even hated buying new clothes).  I used to relish dressing and accessorizing - now it's more like, "Eh, whatev."  But I feel the pull when I look at personal items on Etsy - scarves and rings and dresses (in plus sizes!).  I don't know what my body will do after I have the baby, but I'd like to obviously lose the baby weight . . . and then some.  I think next year will be the perfect opportunity to re-style myself.

Monday
17Aug2009

Je suis trente-quatre aujourd'hui*

Top Ten Great Things About A Mid-August Birthday (in no particular order):

1. You can always have a barbecue dinner or party.

2. Ice cream cake is "in season."  (My sister always gets ice cream cake for her birthday in December, but it really belongs to August.)

3. If you're a nerdy kid who hates summer because there's no school, your birthday gives you something to look forward to and also provides the point from which you can feel like the new school year is right around the corner.

4. You never have to bring cupcakes to school (unless you have one of those teachers who did the whole "summer birthdays" party on one day in June).

5. You always have great entertainment on television because three semi-significant events occurred mid-month: 1 - Elvis died on August 15, 1977 (two days before my second birthday), so there is always a plethora of Elvis specials (if that's your thing); 2 - Madonna's birthday is August 16, so depending on how popular and relevant she is any given year, you can usually find one of her concerts on cable; and 3 - Woodstock was August 15-18, 1969 so there are always retrospectives in mid-August (especially this year, which is the 40th anniversary).

6. It's either ungodly hot, so you have the excuse to do something indoors or it's unseasonably mild and everyone is grateful to be able to do something outside without sweating to death.  It's rarely in the middle.

7. Any birthday money you get can be spent at back-to-school sales.

8. You can spend your birthday down the shore (not that I've done that for a long time, but it's a great option).

9. No matter where you work, August tends to be slow so it's usually not difficult to take time off.

10. August is the only month of the year without a major holiday, so your birthday gets to be the month's major holiday!

So party a little on behalf of me today.  Cheers!

 

*"I am thirty-four today" just sounds so much more elegant in French, n'est-ce pas?

Thursday
06Aug2009

7 Quick Tuesday Takes - Thursday edition

Since I felt I had to write about being stinky and pushing a car on Tuesday, I skipped this week's 7 Quick Takes - so I'm doing them today.

1.
Today is my first day taking Synthroid, a medication for hypothyroidism.  When I went off birth control last month, I started charting my temperature daily so I could get an idea of how my monthly cycle worked.  After two weeks, I noticed that my temperature was regularly, steadily below the lowest temperature available on the pre-printed chart I was using (temp was generally in the 96.6 vicinity).  So I went online and looked up what kind of conditions this could indicate and low thyroid was one of them.  I made an appointment with my primary care doctor for bloodwork immediately since this can affect fertility and - ta da - cause weight gain.

Now, as someone who was obese most of her life, trust me, my thyroid has been checked a zillion times and was always okay.  This time, however, turns out my hunch is right and it's now low.  To quote Carrie Bradshaw: I can't help but wonder... did having the surgery throw my metabolism and thyroid out of whack?  Is this my fault?

I have no delusions that I'm going to take this medication and drop 50 lbs.  But maybe 5? 10? Get me going, at least?  Maybe.  I guess we'll have to wait and see.  I go back to the doctor in a month to find out if the medication is working.

2.
On a lighter note, why are public bathroom toilet paper holders either darkly tinted or opaque plastic?  Wouldn't it seem helpful to be able to see if there's toilet paper BEFORE you lock yourself in the stall and drop trou?

3.
On Monday, my baby hit a milestone: my car crossed the 100,000 mile mark.  And I missed it! *sniffle* Due to the hubby's car troubles, he had my car and brought it home at 100,001 miles.  *Sniffle*  They grow up so fast.

4.
I'm tired of seeing bugs in the hall at work every day.  I hate summer.

5.
I hate when people make their Facebook status a political statement.  It really, really ruins part of my day.

6.
UPS destroyed my brother's television:


{See the screen cracks?}


{Cracks up close}

He had it shipped from Florida when he moved back up here (NJ) a couple of weeks ago.  He didn't insure it because he couldn't afford it, but apparently that doesn't do much good with UPS anyway; they're notorious for killing any claim against them.

My parents recently gave away their TV because my brother was going to set up his for them.  So now they're all TV-less.  Not a tragedy, but a serious bummer.  I can't even bear to talk to my brother about it because I know he's probably really upset.

7.
I don't know quite how to term this, but I was sort of racially profiled on Tuesday, if we take racial profiling to mean that something is determined about someone solely based on their race/appearance.  I had a student tell me how everything in this country makes you angrier the more you know about it (true enough), especially how money works and who gets what.  She then looked at me and said, "Like how people like you, whose families have been here for generations, get certain things where people like me, who came from another country don't get those things."

I paused for a second before responding because my head was a blur with what just happened.  While I don't deny that I am a recipient of the white privilege that exists in this country, I very strongly identify with immigrant concerns considering both of my parents and nearly all of my relatives were born outside the U.S.  So I smiled and said, "Oh, I know - my parents weren't born in this country and my grandparents didn't read much English, so I know how hard and unfair it can be."

She then paused and looked at me for a second, taking in that idea.  Just because I have blond hair (that I pay for) and blue eyes doesn't mean I don't know how hard it is to be an immigrant.  My Ukrainian grandmother worked as a night cleaning lady in the Bronx and was mugged on her way home from work.  She also didn't learn to read until she was 63 years old.  Just because I look like I am privileged doesn't mean that I don't appreciate that I am OR don't appreciate what it's like to not have that privilege.

Bonus Quick Take:
I hate wearing heels because they hurt, but I really appreciate them for how beautiful they are and would totally love to wear these if I could:


{Prada}


{Colin Stuart for Victoria's Secret}

It's probably a little bit odd, but I think the arch of a woman's foot is really sexy and beautiful.  In no way do I have a foot fetish (watch me squirm if the hubby puts his feet on me), but there's just something about a woman's foot arch.  I don't know.

Okay, so these 7 Quick Takes weren't quite so quick.  But as my "About Me" section says, I fight verbosity daily.  Hm, my new tag line: Fighting Verbosity Since 1975.

Tomorrow: Day off!  (Yay for summer hours!)  Sleeping in (i.e. getting up at 9am), maybe making something yummo for lunch, going to see Julie & Julia with Danielle after she gets out of work.  Given the rest of the week, I think tomorrow is going to be tremendous in comparison.

Wednesday
29Jul2009

Some love for More To Love, sort of.

Last night was the premiere of Fox's plus-sized reality dating show, More To Love.  Basically take The Bachelor but make everyone (the bachelor and the contestants) plus-sized, or fat - whatever term you prefer.  I'm actually going to stick with "fat" since plus-sized sounds like there's a "normal" size and then everyone who's above it is "plus" or has excess.


{the More To Love "cast"}
{Note: I WANT that swirly blue dress in the front row!}

This show has been quite smartly reviewed here, here, and here by people who are far more versed in fat acceptance than I am (big ups and bow down to Kate Harding - I have learned a lifetime from her).  However, since my own thoughts on this seem to be somewhat between many of the things I've read (what else is new), here's my $.02.

I missed the first couple of minutes of the show, so I turned it on in medias res.  Instantly, I was struck - and I mean struck, like someone was knocking the wind out of me, at how familiar the women's behavior was.  I knew them.  I was them.  I AM them.  Having watched many seasons of The Bachelor, I immediately made comparisons and was drawn to how many of the women had insecurity seemingly seeping from their pores.  I can name that tune in one note, George.  My heart ached for them as it ached for my 20something self.

In one of the review pieces, the writer states how the women's pick-up lines sound like they came from a website for Dating 101.  And the hubby commented several times at how the women were either noticeably insecure or oddly unsocialized in a way, to which I answered, "Duh."  Well, no, I was nicer - but in my head I heard, "DUUUUHHHHH!"

I've had several people say to me, "But I knew plenty of fat women in high school or my 20s who had boyfriends.  There has to be something wrong with these women if they haven't."  No, I'm sorry - one or two, or even your "plenty" do not represent the universal.  If I was on this show at 25, I would have been one of those women - tearing up, insecure, proclaiming my lack of love and boyfriends.  It is possible to be a decent, kind, smart, and pretty fat woman and not find anyone who's interested in you.

I provided the hubby this theory: part of it is that in my 20s, I found that the men just simply wanted to date thinner women, period.  I might go on and say that they figured they could settle down with whatever size woman they loved later, but while they "sowed their wild oats", why not go for the most publicly admirable dates?  The other part of it is that many fat women will be less secure (after a lifetime of being made fun of) and not know how to put themselves out there because whenever they put even the smallest toe over the flirting line, they were probably immediately (and possibly cruelly) rebuffed.

Rebuff me cruelly once, shame on you.  Rebuff me cruelly twice, shame on me - I'll be over here in the corner, waiting until someone chooses to talk to me.

There are easily a hundred things to comment upon in regards to this show - the fact that they included the women's heights and weights (not done on The Bachelor), the weirdo who jumped in the pool, the appearance of food at the party (there's no party food on The Bachelor), how awesome the rocker chick with the tattoos and fishnets seemed, and the abundance of cleavage - both well-hoisted and sadly flopping (the hubby and I have named one of the bustier, prettier contestants Boobs McGhee - and it's meant as a compliment). 

But my heart lies with these women, who I think are so brave to put themselves out there like this and don't deserve to be told that they should be more secure and they should know better than to think fat people don't deserve love.  That's been their experience - and it was mine, as well.  It takes a long time and some very loving people to bring you around from that.

In the end, I think it is a good thing that this show is out there and getting press.  Perhaps it will open some people up to what the fat female experience is like and create some understanding.  I'm not saying fat women deserve pity - that would be entirely counterproductive.  You can't ignore the effects of someone's fat experiences (even if they have lost weight and are now considered "thin") but it's not a disability either.

Being fat is an experience, just as being a certain gender or race is an experience.  It never hurts to try and expand understanding and compassion.