Twenty Months

Dear Nate,

Today you are 20 months old. You are no longer a teen-toddler (I have no idea what that means but I just like the way it sounds). Part of what it must mean, though, is that you really are in toddlerhood now, heading straight for preschooler age. Your dad and I look at you now and there are few remnants of babyhood left to you. You look and move like a little boy now, with a little less of that toddler tummy, much less early-toddler uncertainty, and even more agility than you already had.

This month has been a fun one for you. It was your second Christmas and the first holiday you've actually understood and appreciated opening presents, which made it immensely fun for your dad and I. The moment in which your dad and I brought out the wrapped kitchen from Grammy and Pop-Pop and you realized that it 1) was a present and 2) was for you will remain one of my favorites.

And now you have a new obsession: Thomas the Tank Engine. Uncle Kenny bought you a Thomas bath toy for Christmas and now you have to take the little Thomas with you everywhere. You ride your trike around the house with Thomas in your hand, sit on the couch with Thomas, take him in the crib for naps, keep him on the table while you eat - you are never without your "choo choo!" (As I write this, however, I have to admit that I don't know where Thomas is right now and am totally scared of not being able to find him later.) You'll point to your Thomas toy, then to the remote, and then to the TV, which is your way of telling me you want me to put Thomas on Netflix. (Thomas on Netflix is how Mommy gets to take a quick shower, which is very useful.)

But this doesn't diminish how much you love to be active. You run laps around the island in the kitchen and love to be chased. You love to kick your big bouncy ball around the house and run with it (like you're dribbling a soccer ball). You are trying to figure out how to jump but all you can manage right now is to get up on your toes.

You mastered climbing into and out of your high chair (mostly, except for one fall) so it was time to move on and this month also brought your booster seat, which you are very happy with. What you're not always happy with, though, is eating. This month really brought out the whole picky eating thing and now it's basically a guess as to what you'll eat on any given day. Last night for dinner I made stew. Four of your favorite foods are shredded beef, potatoes, carrots, and peas - all of which were in the stew. However, you ate none of it. Every time I tried to give you some, you turned your head and simply said, "No. No." So your dinner was applesauce, carrot sticks, and animal crackers. But we keep trying. I know this won't last forever and you still eat plenty of good food, so it's really not a problem, just something new from our little boy who used to eat anything.

You're still a good sleeper and seemed to have gotten past the little glitch in the past two months where you were waking up early or in the middle of the night. You're back to sleeping roughly 7pm to 7am and taking a nap from about 12:30pm to 2pm. All that running you do means you need a lot of sleep, so I always feel better when you're resting well.

You love to say things twice - once in your regular voice, and once in your monster voice: "Oh no way!" then in a growly voice, Oh no way!" You love puppies (all dogs are puppies) and anything crunchy is a cookie. You love to look out the window at all the cars in the morning and help Dada get the leashes ready for the dogs to go outside. You love to give kisses and hugs (you give me a big hug when I put Thomas on) and you love to snuggle on the couch right after you wake up. You love to help zip up your coat or your pajamas and sometimes you can put your own shoes on (and even if I help you, you like to close the velcro). Sometimes you pat your diaper to let me know when it needs to be changed, but you fairly consistently don't like your diaper actually being changed. That process has become a bit of a battle, but you're also definitely not ready for potty training so we'll just battle it through for now.

You are joyous, curious, silly little man. You are loving and sweet but with the best glint in your eye because your curiousity always has mischief right around the corner.

Happy 20 months to my handsome little man! Mommy and Daddy love you so much.

Love,

Mommy.

Nowhere-Near-Wordless Wednesday

Since Nate started climbing into his high chair by himself last month (by first climbing on a dining room chair, then crawling across the dining room table before stepping into the high chair), I've wanted to get him a booster seat. But bills and Christmas gifts had priority, so he continued his climbing every day. Last week, what I feared finally happened - he fell from the high chair. He was trying to back off the tray, slipped, hit his head on the dining room table, and then landed on the floor on his tush... not happy. He cried for about 10 seconds but then he was fine.

This is what always happens. He does something daring (he's fearless), takes a small tumble eventually, scares the life out of me, and then is fine in 10 seconds and (I think) even more fearless. It's amazing that I have no grey hairs. I'm convinced one day I'll wake up with 50, bang.

But anyway, that one spill was it for me. The booster seat plan was going into motion - and this past Monday, it did.

Cutest little booster seat man ever. (And is there a more quintessential toddler lunch than chicken nuggets and carrot sticks?)

He loves his booster seat and didn't care in the slightest that we moved the high chair out. I love how easily he transitions from one thing to the next. Even more, I love that I have to worry less about that particular fall happening again. But I really love that now it feels even more like he's sitting at the table with us. My big little man.

I didn't put him there

I was cooking Nate's dinner last night when I turned around and saw this:

Cute, yes? My little man sitting in his high chair with the container of Cheerios we keep on the table.

Yeah, except I didn't put him in the high chair. He had climbed up on one of the dining room chairs, then onto the dining room table, crawled across the table, climbed into his high chair, and sat down. I know this because he had just done it 10 minutes earlier while Kate and I watched him.

(Note: the playpen behind Nate in the photo is now out of use. He climbs out - without harming himself in the slightest - every time we put him in there. Needless to say, taking a shower has become an adventure.)

So I'm thinking the high chair has met the end of its days with Nate. For a long time now, he's been standing up in it when he's done eating and trying to climb out of it, but we always grab him and lift him out before he actually has a chance to attempt it and either succeed or fall. But now that he can climb in it? I think we're done.

If you have a child, when did you transition from the high chair to a booster or regular seat? Nate can actually sit in our regular chairs and reach well enough to eat at the table but I still feel the need to strap him down or he'll just be all over... Yet at the same time I don't want to be a parent that feels the need to strap her child down. To eat a little more easily, though, I think he does need a booster... so maybe booster with straps while he learns to sit at the table nicely?

When do children learn to sit at the table nicely, anyway? Four? Five? Fifteen?

An odd one

Today is an odd day. The hubby took Nate to his mom's house early this morning, but I didn't have to be at work until noon so I basically had four hours to myself this morning. I don't even know when the last time was that I had four hours to myself. It could quite literally be two years ago.

So what did I do? I wondered what I could do. I could clean the bathroom, vacuum my bedroom carpet, clean the kitchen and dining room floors, go to the library and read. But in the end I decided I actually didn't want to do anything that resembled work or was out of the ordinary. I wanted to take this out of the ordinary time and do something very ordinary with it. I made myself breakfast, watched TV, took my time getting ready, and ran an errand before work. That's it. Didn't clean, didn't prep dinner, didn't even finish the laundry that was already in the dryer. Just kind of existed in the eeriest quiet I've felt in my home since we've lived there.

I've had plenty of relative alone time there, time when the hubby was out, Nate was asleep, and my brother was in his room. But even then, there's this energy of other people being home. On those nights I kind of trick myself into thinking I have the time to myself, but I don't really. Nate could wake up at any moment and need comforting (this almost never happens, but the possibility is there). My brother could come out into the kitchen for some water and strike up a conversation (this almost always happens).

Today it was just me... well, and the two dogs, who also seemed to relish being home and uncaged. They simply napped in their favorite cushy spots until it was time for me to leave, when they then dutifully entered their crates.

And now today, a day that many people experience as one in which they get out early from work, I have to work late. As with most Wednesdays, I have to proctor an exam, but unlike most Wednesdays, today's may be packed. I usually only have three to five students testing. Today there are twelve scheduled. I may, in fact, work later today than I usually do, depending on how quickly the students move through the exam.

And then there's the matter of tomorrow: Thanksgiving (here in the U.S.). I don't have anything to do in preparation. I was told we don't need to bring anything (and, truthfully, can't afford the excess groceries making something special would require) so... we're just showing up to eat. And.... that's it. It's been years since I've done that.

It's truly an odd day. Here are these things that set me free, from a certain perspective. Nothing to do this morning, nothing to prepare for tomorrow. Yet I am sort of not liking either experience. Well, or it's taking me a while to warm up to liking them. I did actually like lying on the couch watching television this morning and eating English muffins. But I didn't like getting out of the shower to an empty, quiet house. Sure, it made getting ready a lot easier since I didn't have to sneak around hoping a certain toddler wouldn't come barreling into my room and start wrecking things... but it still just didn't feel right. And not baking something like a pie or appetizer tonight doesn't feel right either.

It seems clear that I have a new normal, one that involves a rambunctious toddler and lots of time in the kitchen. Both of these renew me and provide invaluable perspective on life, even if they both involve the occasional bouts of frustration, and even disaster. An outing to the movies last week (which I'll have to write about another time) started me thinking seriously this week about my personal time - what I do with it, how I feel about it. Today I felt progress; even though my new normal is a bit crazy, running in circles, covered in flour, I love it - and now I'm slowly beginning to take back a tiny bit of me and remembering how to enjoy that, too.

17 Months

Dear Nate,

Today you turn 17 months old. I think we've officially hit the month where telling people how old you are in months starts to sound obnoxious, so since the first of the month whenever anyone asked, I would say, "Oh, he'll be one-and-a-half next month" - which, for the record, is hard to believe.

And people do ask me about you all the time. Three times this weekend I was stopped by nice older ladies in the supermarket so they could tell me how beautiful you are and how blessed I am. People just think you are incredibly adorable and I just have to agree.

I truly relish every day with you because right now, you are just SO much fun. You love to run around and squeal and babble and spin in circles and bump into things on purpose. When we go to the playground, you prefer to actually walk or run the perimeter of the park than to actually play on the playground structures. You do like to go down the slide by yourself, but you'll only do it once or twice before you're off again, chasing the grass edges and picking up rocks and sticks.

At home you are into everything. You figured out how to open the dishwasher, so you open it every day, multiple times (even when it's running!). When it's clean, you like to hand me the silverware so I can put it away because you love to be my helper. You also figured out how to open the refrigerator, so that's another appliance we are constantly saying, "No open!" about except in the morning, when you go in and pull out the milk so I can fill up your morning sippy cup. (And, yes, you pull out a full gallon of milk and hand it to me.)

"Cup" is actually one of your newer words, along with "I see." Your favorite phrase right now is "Thank you." Since I say it whenever you hand me something, now you say it whenever you hand me something. You still do a lot of pointing and whining, which I'm hoping gives way to more words soon. You babble a lot - all day long, really - and I'm really looking forward to the conversations you seem to have planned.

This week you gave me a cold, but other than that you've been really well. No sign of your two year molars yet, I think (you don't make it easy to check) and you still sleep like a champ. You love to play with Buster and to choose your own stories before naptime and bedtime. Right now your favorite books are ones that let you feel different textures and just last week you started pretending Curious George was exploring the books, making his hand feel the fluffy bunny or tree bark in your story books. I think this is super exciting because it's a beginning glimpse into the start of your imagination. Up until now, you played with your toys by exploring them and you flip through books every day (both your own and mine! lol) but this is the first instance of you seeming to actually pretend something. So exciting!

You're so naturally curious, interested in nearly anything; it's amazing. Two weeks ago, we had to take you for your first routine blood work - and you didn't even cry! You watched with such curiosity as the nurse put the band on your arm and then swabbed it. I cringed then as she approached with the needle, but you just watched without a peep until you saw the blood flow and said, "Ooh, boom." (I don't know why that's what you said, but I'll take it over crying any time!) Your level of curiosity seems incredible to me. (For the record, I cried when they drew your blood. So at least one of us did.)

And yesterday I think you sang along to a song on the TV for the first time. You and I were watching The Fresh Beat Band (Mommy likes that show too much) and their song, "Get up now and go, go" was on and you kept saying, "Go go! Go go!" I can't wait until we get to sing more together. Every day I sing the alphabet to you and just this week you started babbling during some of it, so I'm wondering if you'll start trying to participate soon. We'll see!

I love you, Peanut. You amaze me every single day and make me look forward to every minute I get to spend with you.

Love,

Mommy