In the grooves

A photoblogger I follow recently started using a film camera, moving "backward," if you will, from digital. When she posted the pictures online, it was so apparent that they were film and not digital.

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When music moved from vinyl to CD, purists complained that CDs changed the music, that you can't get all of music's flow and nuances from digital music because when you break it down to the most basic level, you're getting bit and bytes of the music, not the smooth, uninterrupted flow of the needle on vinyl.

I think photography is the same. A film picture feels fuller to me, more rounded - like everything is there. Digital pictures are astoundingly crisp (and I love that about them) but I think maybe life isn't as crisp as those photos tell us. I feel like years from now I'm going to look back and all of these digital photos are going to feel somewhat untrue.

My dad is a photographer so when I first had these thoughts, I rushed to my email and wrote him a long note and then kept checking my inbox, waiting for his reply. I'm not good at taking pictures, but I do love to talk about the art of photography.

A few days ago, the aforementioned blogger posted a photo of her hands holding her film camera. As I looked at it on my iPad, Nate ran over and said, "Pop-Pop! Pop-Pop!" My sister's kids make the same connection, too. Pop-Pop means pictures, so much so that sometimes I call my dad the "Pop-Pop-parazzi." But the kids love it - and I love having so many pictures of them.

While in my heart I might feel that digital photographs hold little lies or withhold other truths, they still hold a place, filling in spaces in our memories.

NabloPoMo
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tell us about your father.

Things to do by now

You know it's been a while between blog posts (22 days but who's counting) when you type the first letter of your URL into your browser and your site doesn't come up. Not first. Not at all.

As Nate would say, "Oopsie." (Except he pronounces it "oop-shee." So completely adorable.)

So, oopshee. But not really since it's not like not blogging was an accident. It was more of a funk. I find that few people enjoy reading blog posts that complain and whine and for the month of January, I was doing a lot of that in my head and couldn't shake it off enough to write anything worth your time, really.

Post-holiday funk, no money funk, busy-schedule-no-time-for-my-marriage funk, missing springtime funk... you know, January. But the thing about a funk is that it makes you want to sit and stew, which is really a way of saying you're thinking, which I do all the time, but stewing is more like thinking with a healthy dash of grumbling and, "Now how do I fix all this or have the patience for it to pass?"

And the thing about thinking is that if you have your mind open, you'll start to see things coming together. Things rise to the surface. One theme I've seen a lot of just this week is talk about things we wish we could do by now. If I had a podcast, that would be what this week's episode was about. (But I don't have a podcast, so you are all spared.)

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There are many things I should be able to do by now that I really can't. Among these things are: really clean well (not just surface clean), carry on a phone conversation without getting antsy, and cook with confidence.

Today's NabloPoMo topic (spoiler: I'm going to give NabloPoMo a try this month to get back into my blogging groove) is "Tell us about your mother" which I can't say, even in my head, without doing a cheesy Freud accent. (I know I can't be alone in that.)

I don't like to write much about other people other than Nate, whose life I feel a bit of ownership over. So my mother's stories are hers, to share or not as she wishes. But one thing I can say without a doubt or feeling of theft is that she is a confident cook.

When I see a recipe on TV that I want to try: I go online, print it out, get all my ingredients ready, and try.

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When my mom sees a recipe on TV that she wants to try: she goes into the kitchen and does her best to remember what they did on the show. No notes, no recipe, winging it.

I'm pretty sure I can't do that. I'm pretty sure I'd create something non-enjoyable and waste groceries and have to call for last minute pizza. My mom? Somehow she creates something that tastes even better than the end result looked on TV.

I'm getting more confident. I used to be pretty sure I couldn't even follow recipes because I didn't have a good understanding of how different food items interacted and related to each other, and to the heat of cooking. Now at least I'm confident that I can follow a recipe well, even one that is labeled "difficult."

I can't just wing it in the kitchen, though. I can't look through my pantry and fridge and create a dish out of what I see unless it's something I've made before, but that's where I want to get. Sometimes I see recipes and think, "That would be great if I just changed X and Y" ... and then I do... and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I'm not afraid to try, so there's some confidence there.

Having confidence doesn't mean trying only when you know you'll triumph. Having confidence really means trying when you know you might fail - and being okay about that because in the failure is growth and learning.

So , February 2012 NabloPoMo, I'm trying.

Recipe for flunking NaBloPoMo

Ingredients:

One heaping cup of PMS
One large six month old learning to stand
Six (or more) bumps to the six month old's noggin
Six heaping cups of prodigal puppy

Instructions: mix with wild abandon

I spent a good portion of Friday afternoon in tears over unpaid bills.  I spent most of Saturday prepping for the return of the prodigal pup and then the rest of Saturday dealing with the prodigal pup.  Imagine, if you will, a dog who takes a three mile walk and still shows no signs of being tired.  I spent most of Saturday trying not to bust into tears (I blame the PMS more than anything - stupid hormonal BC makes it so much worse).

So add all that together and you have a very exhausted me on Sunday, still dealing with the dog, trying to wrangle a baby that overnight (literally) learned to pull himself into a standing position and is now pulling up on everything and, naturally, falling over half the time.  He took a random long nap Sunday afternoon, so grocery shopping got delayed so dinner got delayed.  After dinner (which I think I finished eating around 9:45pm?), I was ready for bed.  My laptop was on my bed, but I just shut it and put it on my dresser, completely forgetting to post (and not having had any time to post during the day).

My first NaBloPoMo failure - and, oddly, it's been so easy this year.  I've had no trouble having things to write about - and I had a zillion things on my mind to write about yesterday, I just ran out of time and steam to actually compose the post.  Alas.

I have a bunch of good posts coming up, though, if I do get around to writing them.  I've tried a bunch of Pioneer Woman recipes in the past week and can't wait to write about them.  And now that I'm walking the dog daily and chasing after my son (more like leaping across the room regularly to stop him from cracking his skull open), I will probably be burning more calories and can afford to eat more PW cooking!

It's that time of year again!

I adore this time of year - the crisp, chilly air, the multicolored leaves overhead, the crunchy leaves underfoot, the bright sunshine that seems so much happier than the obnoxious summer sunshine of just a few months ago, long sleeves, layers, scarves, coats.  And, of course, the wind up to Thanksgiving and Christmas, my very favorite time of year.

However, it's also... National Blog Posting Month!

I've done NaBloPoMo before, both in November (its official month) and other months.  This is the first time I'm a bit nervous about it, though.  I've been having a hard time finding the same amount of time to blog as I used to.

This is because:

1 - I have a nearly 6 month old.

2 - I cannot find the power cord to my laptop so I'm working from my netbook at home.

3 - My job has ramped up and I have very little free time at work.

4 - I just moved and am still in the process of unpacking.

Adding to the fun this week in particular, said nearly 6 month old has his first cold and, being the generous little peanut he is, decided to share his germies with Mommy... so I am now sick.  I actually called out sick from work today for the first time in ELEVEN YEARS.  When I say, "I don't get sick" I mean it.  I very, very rarely get significantly sick.  And, really, I probably could have powered through work today but I have the days to use and would like to take Nate to the pediatrician today, so that's what we'll be doing.  (The hubby might also be sick, but I don't know for sure because he's still sleeping.  He had the overnight shift with the peanut, who doesn't want to sleep between 3-5am lately.)

But November promises to be a great month with lots of interesting updates.  I WILL finish unpacking.  We WILL have people over at some point.  The hubby is turning 31 and we'll be celebrating our second wedding anniversary.  Nate will turn 6 months old - and I'll turn 6 months as a mother, something I've been thinking about a lot.  I'll be getting back in the kitchen (my new kitchen!), trying more Pioneer Woman recipes and looking forward to making a slew of Christmas cookies.

It's going to be a great month.  I'm hoping I can keep up!  And I hope you 1 - stick around and 2 - give NaBloPoMo a shot, yourself!  (Let me know if you are!)

Midnight train going anywhere...

Today's NaBloPoMo prompt: If you could take a train journey through any part of the world, where would you go?

I love traveling by train.  I loved taking the train to work when I worked in the city.  I loved taking the high speed train (through the "Chunnel") from London to Paris (10 years ago now, wow).  Over ten years ago, my friend and I took the train from NYC to D.C. to visit Mike during his summer internship.  That was fantastic - hours of hilarious girl talk, all in the comfort of training rolling along the eastern seaboard.

So where would I want to go?  Well, pretty much anywhere, but I can think of two specifics:

1 - I would love to travel Europe by rail with nothing but a backpack.

2 - The Orient Express.  Because, really, who wouldn't want to ride the Orient Express, if for no other reason than to say you've been on the Orient Express.  But I think the line starting from Paris and having the option of going to Venice, Rome, Prague, Vienna, Krakow and even Istanbul sounds absolutely fantastic.

I jump on a high speed train
I'll never look back again
To Berlin, Kyoto or Marseilles
I'd go anywhere for you

~R.E.M. "High Speed Train"