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Entries in music (5)

Monday
Mar292010

The Sounds of a Break

This week is break week at my job (the school runs on the quarter system, so the winter quarter just ended and the spring quarter starts next week).

What this means practically is that I don't have to be around any students this week.  Lest you misunderstand me, let me say for certain that it's not that I dislike students.  I wouldn't have put in this much time and academic study (past and ongoing) if I didn't really, really, really like college students.

But that said, sometimes one needs a break.  It's great to have a week where I don't have to overhear the current relationship dramas or odd theories on life or watch them all greet each other hello with kisses on the cheek (that totally grosses me out - I'm just not that kind of greeter).  No having to explain that the stapler isn't broken, it just needs staples.  And, no, the printer isn't broken either - it just needs paper.  Yes, that paper right there - the one you can reach with your own fingers and put in the printer all by yourself.  Yay, so big!  Clap hands!

I need this break, you see.

The other great thing is that I get to listen to music.  I have little speakers for my iPod, which I set up and just let go for the week.  In my previous jobs, I could always listen to music because I had my own office or a cubicle that blocked the music from anyone else.  But here, I can't play any music because the room is so small and it's a study center.  I can't wear headphones because, well, I need to be ready to answer a the-printer-is-out-of-paper-emergency (!!!) at a moment's notice.

So far today I've heard The Cure, Keane, the B-52s, Coldplay, Morrissey, Britney Spears (shut up), The Bangles (who doesn't love "Hazy Shade of Winter"??) and a slew of others.  Oddly, no R.E.M. yet - odd because R.E.M. probably occuplies 1/3 of my iPod. 

But I have a whole week.  I'll get to them... and then some.  Ahhh....

Walking through the woods I have faced it
Looking for something to learn
30,000 thoughts have replaced it,
Never in my time to return.

I would give my life to find it;
I would give it all.
~R.E.M. "Texarkana"

Friday
Mar262010

Feeling Lucky, Which Makes Me Cry

I always feel like Friday posts should be upbeat.  So while I have 3/4 of a finished post in the can about my current political concerns, I think I'll save that for the weekend (when no one reads anyway, ha).

But my upbeat-ness today isn't forced; it's amazingly true.

Last night was my 32 week (!!) OB appointment.  Since we're at the point where it's not impossible for something to happen (ex. early labor), I wanted to ask a few questions: If something were to happen (like labor starting), what do I do?  Where do I go?  Who do I call first?

You'd think that's easy - you go to the hospital... ah, yes, but which one?  My natural instinct would be to go to the one we plan to birth at - except it doesn't have a NICU, so if I go into labor before 35 weeks, I should head to a different hospital.  Good to know, right?

This lead to a discussion of how I hope for the birth to go and how my OB generally runs these things.  If you follow women's health news, you know that C-sections are on the rise but ongoing research shows many of them are unnecessary and, in fact, potentially more harmful than vaginal birth (if there were no baby-endangering complications).

I don't want a c-section.  At all.  Thankfully, my doctor is 100% on board with that.  He said they're overdone, often unnecessary, and cause a more difficult recovery for the mother.  He also talked about ongoing research about believed possible benefits to the baby due to a vaginal birth - something about the bodily chemicals they pick up or create during the process.  In addition, because I've had abdominal surgery previously, that adds an additional - and significant - potential complication.

So basically, unless it's a dire emergency, no c-section.

I next asked when I should go to the hospital.  He said, "Well, basically, you don't want to rush it."  I told him I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible (as long as is healthy) and he supported that.  Hurrah!  I explained that I also didn't want to be induced and he nodded and again stated information about the complications that follow induction, which is yet another reason not to go to the hospital early (the earlier you get there, the antsier people get, the more likely you are to be induced).  Hurrah again!

I left his office feeling like I was walking on a cloud. The only two things we haven't discussed yet are pain management and episiotomies.  I do NOT (NOT!) want an episiotomy.  Period.  I didn't feel like bringing that up just yet, though.

As for pain management... I think about it a lot.  Here's my dilemma: the use of an epidural increases ALL of the things I don't want: use of Pitocin, strained pushing which "necessitates" an episiotomy, and possible c-section.

But here's what else I don't want: massive, unbearable, omg-I'm-not-going-to-make-it pain.  I'm not good with pain.  I become unbearable to be near if I have a headache.  A *headache*.  As much as I would honestly love to try to have a fully natural birth, I really do not believe that I could - and a huge part of it is being able to believe that you can do it.

I have friends who had an epidural and then needed a small amount of Pitocin to get things moving along and then had very positive delivery experiences and their babies are fine.  It is possible . . . but so are a lot of other outcomes.

But yesterday's conversation with my OB makes me believe that whenever I do discuss this with him, I will be happy about the outcome.

I read a lot about women struggling, fighting for the birth experience they want.  I feel so, so, so very lucky that my doctor is on the same page as me.  There are so many things I'm thinking about and worrying about now that it's nice to know I don't have to worry that I'll have to fight for what I want once labor starts.

It's a dreary, rainy day here in northeastern NJ, which always brings to mind a specific Simon & Garfunkel lyric from Kathy's Song.  I love this lyric and have often thought of it in terms of a romantic relationship, but today it struck me differently and as I listened to it in the car on my way to work (twice), I found myself crying and thinking about this new relationship I'm kind of already in with the baby and just how lucky I am to have had this wonderful journey so far and how, despite my fears and worries, I am really looking forward to meeting him and being his mom.

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true.
I stand alone without beliefs;
The only truth I know is you.

And as I watch the drops of rain

Weave their weary paths and die,
I know that I am like the rain;
There but for the grace of you go I.

Monday
Nov302009

I forgot how to wake up.

After five days off, I had trouble getting up today - not just because I let myself sleep late for five days, but because I actually forgot my morning routine.  What time do I get up?  How many times can I hit snooze?  What time do I have to be at work? What do I have to do when I get there? Am I really working every day this week?

My trusty ThinkGeek Neverlate 7-Day Alarm Clock. It lets me set a different alarm time for every day of the week.  Pure genius for someone who works in academia and has an inconsistent schedule (I do get up at a different time every day).

But somehow I got to work (courtesy of the hubby since my car is still in for repairs - hopefully getting it back today) and Pandora rewarded me by playing "Kathy's Song" (Simon & Garfunkel):

And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true
I stand alone without beliefs
The only truth I know is you.

I have loved that song since long before I knew what that kind of love really felt like, back when I only could imagine that it was possible.  My best friend Mike and I used to listen to Simon & Garfunkel all the time in college, so hearing that song brings me back to that time, but also carries me across time through all the points in which I heard and thought of that song.  It's amazing the sense memories that music invokes.

And then the Cure's "Just Like Heaven" graced my speakers . . .

Daylight licked me into shape
I must have been asleep for days
And moving lips to breathe her name
I opened up my eyes
And found myself alone alone
Alone above a raging sea
That stole the only girl I loved
And drowned her deep inside of me

My friend Jason has been singing in a cover band (various ones) since I met him in . . . 1998? I don't even remember anymore.  The bands always covered this and it was one of the few songs he would sing.  Going to see his band regularly is one of my favorite sets of memories - singing cover songs in a Jersey shore bar, screaming lyrics until 2am, stopping for Snapple and Combos on the way, laughing at all the silly things we saw and did.

Today is that dreamy kind of day - it's really dark out, like it might downpour any second and continue all day.  I woke up with a nauseating headache that, thankfully, bid adieu thanks to some Tylenol, a little coffee, and a shoulder rub from the hubby.  Even though I woke up today thinking this week would be impossible, I think I'll make it okay.

I started off this NaBloPoMo with a visit with my new niece, an amazing and overwhelming experience.  Now the month ends on a dreary but similarly pensive day, thinking about all the things that lie ahead.

Monday
Aug172009

Je suis trente-quatre aujourd'hui*

Top Ten Great Things About A Mid-August Birthday (in no particular order):

1. You can always have a barbecue dinner or party.

2. Ice cream cake is "in season."  (My sister always gets ice cream cake for her birthday in December, but it really belongs to August.)

3. If you're a nerdy kid who hates summer because there's no school, your birthday gives you something to look forward to and also provides the point from which you can feel like the new school year is right around the corner.

4. You never have to bring cupcakes to school (unless you have one of those teachers who did the whole "summer birthdays" party on one day in June).

5. You always have great entertainment on television because three semi-significant events occurred mid-month: 1 - Elvis died on August 15, 1977 (two days before my second birthday), so there is always a plethora of Elvis specials (if that's your thing); 2 - Madonna's birthday is August 16, so depending on how popular and relevant she is any given year, you can usually find one of her concerts on cable; and 3 - Woodstock was August 15-18, 1969 so there are always retrospectives in mid-August (especially this year, which is the 40th anniversary).

6. It's either ungodly hot, so you have the excuse to do something indoors or it's unseasonably mild and everyone is grateful to be able to do something outside without sweating to death.  It's rarely in the middle.

7. Any birthday money you get can be spent at back-to-school sales.

8. You can spend your birthday down the shore (not that I've done that for a long time, but it's a great option).

9. No matter where you work, August tends to be slow so it's usually not difficult to take time off.

10. August is the only month of the year without a major holiday, so your birthday gets to be the month's major holiday!

So party a little on behalf of me today.  Cheers!

 

*"I am thirty-four today" just sounds so much more elegant in French, n'est-ce pas?

Monday
Jul272009

BlogWho '09? BlogPUP '10?

As I was listening to my iPod the other day, I got an idea blast.

Some background:  I often make up songs for/about Oreo (my shih-tzu):

 


And that is how she looks at me when I sing to her.

Most of the time I keep these songs to myself because 1 - they're fleeting and anti-melodic and/or 2 - they're a bit ridiculous.  Recently I shared with my husband that Oreo had a song to the Green Acres theme:

Ordito is the pupper-pie
Ordito never asks you why

Um, never having actually watched the show, that was all I could assemble.  (And, yes, Oreo has many nicknames: Ordito, Torpedo, Pupper Face, Puppers, Pupper Paws.)

But the other day, I started singing along to - no judgement - Lady Gaga's "Poker Face":

Mah mah mah mah mah mah
Mah Pupper Face
Mah mah mah mah mah mah
Mah Pupper Face

So I got to thinking... are there pet bloggers?  Now, I'm not one of those people who treat their pet like a child.  To be honest, I get kind of grossed out when people refer to their pet as the sibling of their human child, like, "Oh, yes, Rover is very excited to have a little sister now."  Kind of feels like a disservice to the dog and the human baby all at once.  But I digress.

So, again - but for the very last time (I think) - as you may very well already know, there was a big ol' blogging conference in Chicago this weekend (Blogher). In addition, there were a bunch of really nifty online blogging events for those of us who weren't in Chicago*. I noodled around some of this stuff, found a whole bunch of new blogs to peruse, laughed, cried, and generally had a good web-strolling time.

What this made me question, though, was where my interests fit in. What kind of panel could I be on? I'm a wife, but this isn't solely a marriage blog, even though I discuss my marriage. I'm not yet a mom, so not a mommy blogger - but when I am, I don't expect this to become all kids, all the time. I'm not very stylish, so it's not a style blog. I'm not actively, gung-ho losing weight nor am I loudly preaching the benefits of HAES (Health At Every Size) so it's not a health or body size/image blog. I read and write about books, but only sometimes.

I'm thirtysomething... but what does that mean? I believe it means my life is unable to be categorized (dictionary.com tells me uncategorizable is not a recognized word, boo - it should be). I'm not dissing people who categorize their writing by choice. Writing is about passion - you have to write what you have a passion for.  Since I was a kid, I've watched life, noticed things. I see the small flinches people make before etiquette takes over. I see the wrong words coming out of someone's mouth before they even get to the ears of whomever's about to be offended. I'm sensitive to the movement of life and the implications of people's actions.

So I can't leave anything out because taking it all in is what I do - though, of course, there is room for editing; I'm not one for no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-wall, gritty honesty most of the time. I am honest - even blunt - but also a bit prissy on occasion. But that's me and that's what this blog is - me.

So I propose: BlogPup '10!  By then I should be able to finish the lyrics to "Pupper Face", make sure that Lady Gaga's people don't sue me, and put together a little dance routine.  I'm takin' my mad pupper lyrics skillz viral, yo (and, yes, I promise to never talk like that again).

 

*(I did sign up to go to BlogHer '10, though!!  Eeee!!!)