I always feel like Friday posts should be upbeat. So while I have 3/4 of a finished post in the can about my current political concerns, I think I'll save that for the weekend (when no one reads anyway, ha).
But my upbeat-ness today isn't forced; it's amazingly true.
Last night was my 32 week (!!) OB appointment. Since we're at the point where it's not impossible for something to happen (ex. early labor), I wanted to ask a few questions: If something were to happen (like labor starting), what do I do? Where do I go? Who do I call first?
You'd think that's easy - you go to the hospital... ah, yes, but which one? My natural instinct would be to go to the one we plan to birth at - except it doesn't have a NICU, so if I go into labor before 35 weeks, I should head to a different hospital. Good to know, right?
This lead to a discussion of how I hope for the birth to go and how my OB generally runs these things. If you follow women's health news, you know that C-sections are on the rise but ongoing research shows many of them are unnecessary and, in fact, potentially more harmful than vaginal birth (if there were no baby-endangering complications).
I don't want a c-section. At all. Thankfully, my doctor is 100% on board with that. He said they're overdone, often unnecessary, and cause a more difficult recovery for the mother. He also talked about ongoing research about believed possible benefits to the baby due to a vaginal birth - something about the bodily chemicals they pick up or create during the process. In addition, because I've had abdominal surgery previously, that adds an additional - and significant - potential complication.
So basically, unless it's a dire emergency, no c-section.
I next asked when I should go to the hospital. He said, "Well, basically, you don't want to rush it." I told him I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible (as long as is healthy) and he supported that. Hurrah! I explained that I also didn't want to be induced and he nodded and again stated information about the complications that follow induction, which is yet another reason not to go to the hospital early (the earlier you get there, the antsier people get, the more likely you are to be induced). Hurrah again!
I left his office feeling like I was walking on a cloud. The only two things we haven't discussed yet are pain management and episiotomies. I do NOT (NOT!) want an episiotomy. Period. I didn't feel like bringing that up just yet, though.
As for pain management... I think about it a lot. Here's my dilemma: the use of an epidural increases ALL of the things I don't want: use of Pitocin, strained pushing which "necessitates" an episiotomy, and possible c-section.
But here's what else I don't want: massive, unbearable, omg-I'm-not-going-to-make-it pain. I'm not good with pain. I become unbearable to be near if I have a headache. A *headache*. As much as I would honestly love to try to have a fully natural birth, I really do not believe that I could - and a huge part of it is being able to believe that you can do it.
I have friends who had an epidural and then needed a small amount of Pitocin to get things moving along and then had very positive delivery experiences and their babies are fine. It is possible . . . but so are a lot of other outcomes.
But yesterday's conversation with my OB makes me believe that whenever I do discuss this with him, I will be happy about the outcome.
I read a lot about women struggling, fighting for the birth experience they want. I feel so, so, so very lucky that my doctor is on the same page as me. There are so many things I'm thinking about and worrying about now that it's nice to know I don't have to worry that I'll have to fight for what I want once labor starts.
It's a dreary, rainy day here in northeastern NJ, which always brings to mind a specific Simon & Garfunkel lyric from Kathy's Song. I love this lyric and have often thought of it in terms of a romantic relationship, but today it struck me differently and as I listened to it in the car on my way to work (twice), I found myself crying and thinking about this new relationship I'm kind of already in with the baby and just how lucky I am to have had this wonderful journey so far and how, despite my fears and worries, I am really looking forward to meeting him and being his mom.
And so you see I have come to doubt
All that I once held as true.
I stand alone without beliefs;
The only truth I know is you.
And as I watch the drops of rain
Weave their weary paths and die,
I know that I am like the rain;
There but for the grace of you go I.
Monday, March 29, 2010 at 10:15AM 
