7 Quick Tuesday Takes

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1. Do I have the only destructo-toddler? I read about people who give their iPads to their toddlers to watch videos and play games and my heart lurches because if I did that, my iPad would be dropped or flung across the room within a few minutes, no doubt. Who are you people with these non-destructive toddlers?

2. Yes, there is a huge celebration today for a bunch of guys who won a big football game. Yes, we should have an even bigger celebration for the troops who have returned home. No, these ideas don't need to be oppositional. We can (and should) have them both.

3. Freezer burritos are such an awesome thing. No lunch ideas? Too tired to pack lunch? Boom! Freezer burrito, at the ready.

4. I don't understand why everyone goes bonkers over red velvet (even outside Valentine's Day, it's always one of the best selling cupcakes according to a lot of vendors). But it's just cake. Red cake. But still just cake. (And I can take or leave cake.)

5. I'm hoping to get approval to take a day off next week to get my hair cut and highlighted. It will be my first haircut in 6 1/2 months and first highlights in nine months. Here's hoping my 2012 finances and time management are better than 2011's.

6. There's a restaurant in my town that's had a "Re-Grand Opening" sign up for months. Every time I drive past it, I want to go in and yell at them, "Grand RE-OPENING! Grand RE-OPENING! You can't re-grand something!" But I haven't done it yet. I think this confirms that I'm doing a fair job of keeping myself in check.

7. I have a good feeling about February. I think it's going to be a better month than the past few have been. Ever just have a good feeling about a chunk of time?

New Year, Old Clothes

As I drove to work this morning and was thinking about what I'd face when I got there (the start of the new academic quarter, new students, coworkers I haven't seen in two weeks because either I or they were on vacation, etc) and how I was wearing (again) one of my go-to outfits for work: grey plaid pants (very subtle plaid - definitely a neutral per Clinton and Stacy's rules), blue buttondown shirt (which is a little snug with the holiday weight I've gained) and grey flowy sweater (which is decidedly less flowy than it was in the fall, also due to holiday weight gain) - I thought, "Well, nothing's changed except the year."

And that's kind of where I am. I like to be a big proponent of perpetual self renewal and exploration and improvement, even when it's wrapped in the New Year days, but this year I just haven't been able to muster up the get-up-and-go for it. There is too much of the struggle of 2011 that isn't subsiding simply because there's a new calendar on the wall and that is making it hard for me to feel any of the drive and hope that resolutions and ideas and wishes need to have behind them.

I usually love winter. I love the chill and bundling up and snow. But ever since last winter's disastrous utility bills, I've been fearing this winter because if we have bills like that again, we're sunk. Every week, instead of wondering excitedly when I'll be able to introduce Nate to playing in the snow (which I'm guessing he probably won't actually like), I fear a snowy forecast because it means a higher heating bill.

Everything - simply everything - in my life right now is tied down with concerns about money. It's hard to find renewal and inspiration when you are basically homebound due to financial constraints. As I think that out loud to myself, though, I immediately think of people who are homebound due to physical or mental disability and how I would fully believe this does not force them to live a "lesser than" life - so why should it for me?

There are things I can do, things I plan to do. For example, I need to finish my incomplete course from last spring. It's a required course, so if I don't finish it by May, I'll have to retake it. That would be seriously stupid on my part. So I just need to buckle down and do it and stop griping internally that I don't have a workspace, that I can't concentrate at home. I just have to. Period.

Maybe completing some big as well as some small things I need to get done will help me feel better. Not having stuff hanging over me always helps. We still won't be any closer to paying the rent without difficulty, but any lessening of concerns should be helpful. (I think. Can't hurt to try.)

2011 had some truly stellar moments, but it also had a million small (and some big) difficult moments. For 2012, all I wish is that the ratio flips. Life will have difficult moments; it's how we grow. But I really could do with the universe's stellar moments tipping in my favor a bit more this year. I'm not looking for favors or handouts. I will work hard as hell to deserve more; I just feel like 2011 was a lot of work without the rewards and opportunities.

I have a cautious feeling in my gut that great things are coming. I said as much to a friend a few weeks ago and really, truly meant it. I fear that 2012 will be 2011 all over again, but it can't be. It already was; it cannot be again. What comes can only be new and what is new is still yet to be determined, so I have to reason I can still affect change.

So onward we trudge. Upwards, 2012, here we go.

In the Company of Men

I'm wearing a pair of men's socks today. Which man's socks? I don't actually know because none of the men in my house will claim them. Hubby says they're not his. My brother says they're not his. They're certainly not mine and I don't know any other man who would've left them behind, so this mystery remains.

Growing up, whenever I entertained the idea of having children, I always wanted sons. What I don't think I really thought about was the implication of being an outnumbered female in my own home. Here's the breakdown in my home:

Males: the hubby, Nate, my brother, and Buster

Females: me and Oreo

I have to count the dogs because otherwise I'm simply the sole female at home. What I've come to realize is that, in my home at least, the number of males is directly proportionate to the amount of noise.

Me at home: usually watching TV, surfing the web, or cooking in the kitchen. Quiet.

Oreo at home: curled up sleeping somewhere comfortable (these days under the Christmas tree)

Compare that to what I generally overhear when my male family members are home:

"Auuuugghhh!" (Hubby just got killed in a computer game.)

"Auuuughhhh!" (Something happened during the football game my brother is watching.)

"Aaaiieeee! Hahahahahaha! Oh noooooo! " (Nate, wreaking general havoc.)

"RUH RUH RUH RUH RUH!" (Buster, barking at some imagined threat.)

The thing is, I know little girls are chatty. (Hell, many women are chatty and it's a given cliche that men often want their wives to stop talking.) So I suppose it could be quieter but more constant, although Nate's level of noise is pretty constant, just kind of... bombastic.

When the noise erupts, I still check on it. "Hi, just making sure you didn't impale yourself on something and aren't bleeding out, unable to crawl for help. No? Okay, then I'm going back to watching America's Next Top Model."

(ANTM being a perfect example of why I wouldn't actually prefer to live with women. Okay, it's an edited-for-drama reality show... but still. I'll take sports-and-gaming yelling over catty arguments any day.)

I spent years living in quiet. My parents' house is generally quiet. My apartment in grad school was tremendously quiet... and I liked it that way. This has been an adjustment, but I think I'm pretty used to it now. I jump at the noise less frequently than I used to.

And I got a pair of socks out of the deal.

Time for holiday trimmings

I need a haircut. Badly. My ends all look like they're trying to jump ship but got tangled in the anchor cable. (Am I mixing metaphors or what?) The problem is, I can't afford my regular stylist right now - so much so that I'm actually debating going to the dreaded Supercuts. Am I crazy?

For the record, a kid's haircut at Nate's hairdresser is $15 - and kids will scream and cry and thrash about. I promise to be super nice and patient - can my haircut be $15?

I need to have a good 3 inches taken off all around, but couldn't figure out how to describe what I wanted. But when one is in need of style inspiration, where does one go? Pinterest, of course!

Think Supercuts could manage any of these styles or some amalgamation of them?

 I think this is the photo I'd bring in to the appointment:

 I love this base color and highlights:

 I like ends that flip up (on purpose):

 

 Nice angles on the ends:

Great side-swept bangs (which drive me crazy, but I love how they look):

 

It's so hard to get a hairstyle you like. I had the best hairdresser once but he had to go and have a nervous breakdown and then was never the same again. Prior to that, I didn't even need to tell him what I wanted done - I could just go in and say things like, "Well, I want, like, a reddish blondish brown that's kinda short but fun but will still be okay for work" and he'd do exactly what I didn't even fully know I wanted. It was the most simpatico relationship I've ever had and I miss him more than any ex-boyfriend or ex-friend, seriously. A great hairdresser is so hard to find.

7 Quick Tuesday Takes - faux post-tryptophan

Faux post-tryptophan because I ended up actually not eating much turkey (or much of anything) on Thanksgiving. I crammed five minutes of food in my face and then spent the rest of dinner chasing Nate off everything dangerous (mostly the stairs) in my BIL and SIL's house. But to honor the holiday none-the-less, I spent the next four days being as lazy as Nate would let me be (which isn't much).

So here are Tuesday's musings:

1 - I had two weeks to do my homework for tonight. When did I start it? Last night at 8pm. Some things never change, even when you're a teacher.

2 - It's not a good sign when you get an email saying the final project due date was extended to next week and you think, "Wait, that's an extension? So it was due this week???" and it's a total shock because you just have not been paying attention to the details this semester. Content, yes - I am all over my course content this semester... but the details contributing to my grade? Not as much.

3 - Nate has become a major hugger. He hugs everyone all the time now and says, "Awwww!" and pats you on the back as he hugs you. I melt every time... and I have tucked this memory away in my mental file box to pull out when he's 15 and doesn't want to hug me.

4 - I told my sister the other day not to turn 36 because there's just something about 36 that aches. I have regular aches and stiffness that I never had before and they really feel like they came on all of a sudden in the past few months. Is there something about 36?

5 - I was reading a blog post where someone said something about 40 not being scary at all and how women need to embrace it. My first thought was, "Eff. 40? Crap. That's less than four years away. Eff." Better start working on embracing that idea now. (And in my head I don't say "eff." I say the f-word. A lot. Just too prudish to type it out for all of intarwebs posterity.)

6 - I'm starting to put together the menu for Christmas Eve; we're hosting my family again this year and my goal is to have a simple but scrumptious meal. I may have stolen the phrase "simple but scrumptious" from The Pioneer Woman's Food Network show intro... but it works. Basically, I don't want to make anything complicated. As Carla Hall says in her intro on The Chew:when I cook I want my food to hug you. Simple, scrumptious, huggy food. And I'll stop stealing TV intro quotes now.

7 - Life needs to slow down. I need a week to just sit in my living room and stare at our Christmas tree and think. Do you ever sit in the dark with a lit Christmas tree and just think? I find it to be one of the most valuable meditative experiences in life.

And with that, on goes Tuesday. What's your quick 7 today?