I'm pretty sure I have a problem.

Recently I've read several blog posts from people who have a child around the same age as Nate where they off-handedly mention going outside after their little one falls asleep (to spend time with their spouse after dinner or play with their other kids during the day, etc).

And, I kid you not, my heart leaps in my chest and I think, "OUTSIDE? OUTSIDE? Like... more than 20 feet away from the room in which your dear, sweet child is sleeping? Aren't you afraid of anything?"

So, there you have a glimpse into my problem. I am a fraidy-mom.

The thought of going outside of the house while Nate is sleeping actually terrifies me. I have to do it sometimes to take Buster for a short walk while Nate's napping and my heart pounds the entire half-block and I keep looking back at the house to make sure it hasn't spontaneously hasn't burst into flames or someone wearing a catsuit and mask isn't trying to crawl in one of the windows. And then I nearly break out into tears at the thought that Nate has possibly stopped breathing and by the time I get back to the house, it'll be too late to do anything about it.

I'm not being facetious, either. Those are truly my thoughts. And I have them every single time I walk outside the house when Nate is asleep and I'm the only one home with him - even if I'm just taking the garbage cans to the curb and quickly going back in.

I still hear phantom crying when he's not crying (specifically when I do something like wash the dishes or take a shower and fear I won't hear him over the running water). And even though I drop him off crying at daycare, I check my rearview a dozen times on the way to work to make sure I didn't imagine dropping him off - that I won't forget he's in my car.

Every time I get a call or text from the hubby when he's alone with Nate, my heart lurches for a second and I fear Nate's fallen and injured himself or is sick and at the doctor's office. (Nevermind the fact that the hubby has been home alone with him regularly for Nate's whole life and nothing has ever happened.)

Is this normal? Or do I have a particularly sticky case of the mommy crazies? I don't see other parents worrying like this and I'm left to wonder if they're just not talking about it or if I'm a special kind of crazy. And if this is now, what happens when I actually have to let him leave the house (for hours at a time!) to go to school or spend time with friends? Am I going to require a straitjacket when he's a teenager? Should I get myself into therapy now to prevent this from getting worse? Or will this pass and I'm only so loony because he's my only child and it scares me just how much I adore him?