So here's where I probably get kicked out of the mommy blogger club (before they even get to show me the secret handshake that Genie Alisa promises me is coming at the hospital).

*deep breath*

In general, I find pregnancy to be really gross.

Okay, I said it.  Does anyone ever say that?  I've looked, over the years, for people who talk about this but I don't seem to find any.  Except for one instance where my sister-in-law physically took my hand and put it on her pregnant belly, I have never touched a pregnant belly.  I want to go, "Yeeeccchhhh" right now just thinking about it.  I have never ever actually wanted to go through pregnancy except out of a general sense of curiosity about all the different experiences we can have in life.

Like those photos with the hands on the belly in the shape of a heart?  I cringe and go, "Yech" every time I see one.  Is this really abnormal?  It's not meant to be hateful toward pregnant women in any way.  There's just something about pregnant bellies that have always been off-putting to me.

So it should be interesting when I actually have one of my own.  I haven't gained any weight yet (actually I've lost four pounds) and am still wearing all of my regular clothes without any issues.  Because I'm already overweight, I don't have a lot of weight to gain outside of the general baby/placenta/etc weight, so my doctor is completely content with how I'm doing.  I don't know how I'm going to feel when my belly starts to grow, much less when it's sticking out past my boobs.  Even at my heaviest, my boobs were always bigger than my belly so this is going to be something new to process.  (Oh, and my boobs haven't changed at all either.  You know, since we're sharing and all.)  I am not grossed out by my own pregnancy at all (yet) - this is just something I've always felt towards pregnant women (and my sister's been pregnant twice!).

So I've never been one of those, "Oooh, pregnancy is such a blessing!" people.  I think it's a variably difficult and occasionally gross experience to have to go through in order to get the wonderful blessing at the end.  However, I haven't grossed myself out yet, so maybe actually being pregnant will change my perspective.  I have a feeling I might end up loving the belly, but I'm not convinced yet.

The four pound weight loss is probably best attributed to the about eight weeks of food aversion I had.  I did not want to eat anything.  The only things that sounded good to me were cheese and carbs.  I ate a lot of snack foods (fruit, cheese, yogurt, hummus, etc) and Luna bars when I needed something more.  For meals, I pretty much ate what I could stand to eat, which included no ground meat or chicken.  In the past week, I've started eating meat and chicken again, which is good (for variety, if nothing else).

I've never had a food aversion in my life (outside of rice pudding) so this is a really eye-opening and thought-provoking experience, one I'll address more deeply another time.

This Sunday is my first wedding anniversary, so there'll be a few marriage-related posts for a bit.  Don't want to overdo all the baby stuff anyway, right?  (But it is so easy to talk and talk about.)

Happy Friday!  (The 13th, oooh!)