Both the hubby and I hate the "Does this make me look fat?" question.  His response when he hears the question: "No, your fat makes you look fat."  Basically, you are who you are.  Sure, certain clothing items are more flattering than others, but why is it always fatness that is a concern?  How about shortness? (Not that being short is bad, but it seems to bother some people.)  Or sallow?  Some stuff makes my skin tone look terribly unflattering.  But you don't often hear those questions.

The number one item on my 101 in 1001 list is was "Lose 60 pounds."  I have decided that I am going to revise this, but haven't yet come up with the exact new wording.  The spirit of the goal will remain the same - to be healthy and happy about my body - but less prescriptive and stringent.

Lately I've heard too many friends and acquaintances, male and female, say negative things about items they ate or lazy days they allowed themselves.  This is hard for me to hear because I believe in everything in moderation and that you can't push and drive yourself all the time.  I believe there's more harm done in denying yourself a cupcake or pasta at all times than allowing yourself one/some once in a while.  Should you have a cupcake every day?  Well, that's up to you.  You're certainly free to.  I wouldn't because there are other things I'd rather eat and if I eat a cupcake in place of or in addition to those items, I won't feel well and will probably gain weight that I don't want to gain.  But those are my reasons and preferences and they don't need to be anyone else's.

Did you know that there was a survey not long ago where researchers showed a group of Americans and a group of French a picture of chocolate cake and asked them to come up with one word to describe it?

What would you call me?

The number one American answer?  Guilt.  The number one French answer?  Celebration.  Do I even need to lay out the point there?

It's so easy to criticize the choices we make and so hard to accept them unapologetically.  I ate a cupcake yesterday.  So there.  And I had some pasta on Saturday.  Double so there.  But they were part of my scope of eating for those days.  And now?  I have half a tray of cupcakes at home and I don't even want one.  If I hadn't eaten that one yesterday, I'd probably be sitting here thinking about them nonstop.

But, again, that's me.  That's my relationship with food - something I am slowly working at learning and understanding more about.  All the energy and time we spend hating ourselves can be used so much more productively if we love ourselves and speak more positively about ourselves.  (I'm not usually so hippie-ish with the "we should love ourselves" stuff - writing that just made me gag a little - but in this case it's the only phrasing that feels true.)

I don't profess to have all the answers - far from it, really.  But I'm actively seeking and learning.