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Entries in baby (56)

Thursday
Sep022010

Keeping Nate Busy and Happy

The hubby had a tough day on Wednesday.  For the first time in probably three months, Nate decided that 4:30am was a great time to get up for a fresh diaper, full bottle, and smiley playtime.

Poor hubby.  He was off from work on Wednesday, so that means it was his responsibility to get up in the middle of the night.  The problem (aside from 4:30am just stinking overall) was that he was unable to sleep until 3:30am due to the terribly long (11 hour!) and stressful (i.e. crappy) work day he had on Tuesday.  Nate usually gets up around 8:15/8:30am, so at 3:30am the hubby is thinking he'll get five hours sleep, totally enough to function.

Except Nate had other plans.  You know that joke about how to make God laugh? (Answer: Make plans.)  I think the same goes for babies.  Want to entertain a baby?  Try to make plans around what you expect them to do.  (This is why taking Nate for his three month pictures and planning his baptism party terrified me.  I knew that "planning" was really just a relative term we adults use to make ourselves feel like we have any iota of control over what a three month old being wants or needs.  Ha, as if.)

But back to the hubby yesterday.  Nate did go back to sleep, but he doesn't sleep long or much during the day so the hubby had about three hours of sleep.  No one was around to come over and help and he didn't feel safe getting in the car and driving anywhere with Nate.  I had those days during my maternity leave and the best you can do is work to keep Nate busy and entertained throughout the day so, if nothing else, he's happy.

So let's be honest: playtime with an infant is more about keeping them busy between naps, diapers, and bottles than it is about much else.  Sure, they're learning motor skills and communication skills and their brain is constantly creating maps about the world around them.  They've got all that going on.  But you, as the central play partner, are basically just keeping busy.

So here's what keeps Nate busy these days, in case you were interested in what a 16 week old boy does with his time (or, more accurately, what we do with a 16 week old boy's time).

The first and still often useful item was/is his Infantino Twist and Fold Activity Mat:

I love everything about this playmat, especially how it's designed.  (And it's designated as a playmat for boys, but really I think it's totally perfect for boys or girls.)  Early on, this became an easy, safe place to put Nate down where I knew he wouldn't fall (like if he wriggled off the couch or a bed) and he would be at least somewhat entertained.  It's also where I would do tummy time with him.  It does "twist and fold" easily so I also take it with me to my parents' house when I go do laundry there on Friday.  The domed parts make me feel even better about leaving him on there because it's like no one can accidentally not realize he's there and step on him.  (Am I the only cuckoo mother that worries about that?)  The domed parts are also good for hanging other things up.

Like... this LeapFrog Caterpillar:

 

My cousin Linda gave this to me for Nate when he was not even a month old, I think.  And, truth be told, it overwhelmed me at first.  Every button I pushed did something different.  And then when I pushed these other buttons, all the first buttons did something else. (Truth be told, taking a shower and getting dressed overwhelmed me that first month.)  But once I figured it out and Nate started actually enjoying toys (which was after he was already two months old), this became a favorite.  And I have to admit, the songs are really catchy.  You know, the kind of catchy that gets stuck in your head until you want to bang your head on something to get the song out?

Five little ladybugs meet for lunch.  Five little ladybugs munch and crunch.  One! Two! Three! Four! Five!
Four little flowers blowing in the breeze, four little flowers, pretty as you please. One! Two! Three!  Four!

You get the idea.  (Note: doesn't the bluebird look like the Twitter bird??)  Well, Nate loves this toy - and what I've discovered is that he loves things that have voices that talk or sing.  He's not so much into plain music as he is into singing.  (I find this very interesting.)  The caterpillar has velcro straps on it, so it can attach to the dome, stroller, or crib.

Side note: one of his favorite songs to have sung to him is "Do Re Mi" from The Sound of Music, one of my very, very, very favorite movies/musicals of all time (favorite like I can recite every single line of the movie, including all the songs, so you don't want to watch this with me).  Well, he was fussing on my lap a bit Tuesday night when a commercial for a television broadcast of The Sound of Music came on.  He instantly became still and utterly transfixed by the television and the songs.  When I tell you I squee'd with joy, I kid you not.  If he quite possibly loves that movie, I will be the happiest mommy on the block.  (I'll add that I do not want him watching television yet, so I'm actually just hoping he enjoys the music.)

I always knew I wanted Nate to sit at dinner with us, even before he would be eating with us, because I think it's good to have family time at the table and for Nate to see us sitting together, talking, and eating.  It's a key way children become interested in food and begin to learn how eating happens: by seeing others eat.  So how to keep him at the table with us before he's big enough for his high chair?

 

This Fisher Price bouncy seat was a gift "from" his cousins, TJ and Brooke (my sister's kids).  It's one of the items we use where I can really see how big he's gotten because in the beginning not only couldn't he reach the characters dangling on the bar, he didn't even care they were there.  Now not only does he laugh at them, but he grabs them - with his hands AND his feet!  And on my birthday, he actually dozed off in there while my friends and I ate cupcakes (I don't remember him actually falling asleep in the bouncer ever before or since - must've been a birthday gift for me!).

Nate doesn't sleep in his crib yet (he still sleeps in his Fisher-Price Rock & Play Sleeper in our bedroom).  We have put him in the crib for a few naps recently, but those last about fifteen minutes if we're lucky.  He does hang out in there, though, and "talk to his friends" sometimes while we prepare bottles or dash to the bathroom.  Who are these chatty friends of his?

 

His Tree Top mobile friends, of course!  He loves this and I've used it so much that I actually know that if you wind it up to the fullest, it runs for two minutes, nearly exactly.  Imagine making dinner in two minute segments while you run back and forth to keep winding up the mobile.  Welcome to some of my evenings.

But this brings us to Nate's room, which also includes his changing table, which he loves.  I take a long time to change his diapers because he loves to lay there and babble to me and practice sitting up (if I let him hold my index fingers, he basically will draw himself up, nearly into a straight standing position).  While he's on the changing table, this often comes into use:

Yes, his American Red Cross Healthcare and Grooming Kit.  He likes the rattle it came with (you can see it here with the yellow, orange, and green balls in it) and he loves having his hair brushed.  (Uh oh, what kind of trouble does that portend?  Or should I be happy he loves his hair being brushed??)  I love the time with him on the changing table; it always feels like special Mommy/Nate time.

But mentioning Nate's love of standing on the changing table brings us to the latest addition to our brood of busy-keeping toys - this Evenflo Exersaucer:

 

I don't have a link to provide for this, though, because it was voluntarily recalled in 2009 (my sister had it and handed it down to us).  Why are we using a recalled Exersaucer? Well, the recall was only for Stage 3, when you use it open like the lower of the two pictures above.  We don't and won't use it for Stage 3.

We use it as a place where Nate can stand and our arms don't get tired - and (bonus!) we can get stuff done!  The day after we picked up the Exersaucer from my sister's house, I texted her, "The saucer is great! I was able to refill my RX online, empty AND reload the dishwasher, go pee, and change my clothes!"  You don't realize how hard it can get to do those things until you have a little someone who only wants to stand, but isn't capable of standing yet and, thus, requires your arms for assistance all day long.

(I just realized that text makes it sound like I had to change because I peed.  I trust you believe that wasn't the case.  Thank you.)

Now, of course he gets tired in there, but being able to put him in there for even fifteen minutes at a time is a huge, huge help - much better than the two minute increments of the crib mobile.  And he LOVES the Exersaucer.  He spins around with it and pushes the buttons so the music plays and stretches, trying to grab for the various toys.  Sometimes he flings himself around in it in a way that reminds me of early-to-mid 90s moshing.  This teen/20something of the 90s is so very proud of her little moshing baby.

Nate loves to look at letters (like shirts or boxes with words on them), but he isn't interested in books yet unless they play music and sing.  So we don't spend a lot of time looking at books right now, but I hope my next list of "What Keeps Nate Busy" includes some great kids' books.  He already clearly loves The Sound of Music and has a penchant for moshing.  Mommy's little boy has got to love books next, right?

Squarespace's spell check doesn't recognize the word "moshing" and suggests mashing, joshing, and noshing as alternatives - all of which are activities that also keep Nate happy, go figure!  Oh wait, joshing and noshing sounds like something that would come out of that caterpillar toy.  Oh no.  The ladybugs.  They munch and crunch.  Help.  Send help.

Wednesday
Aug112010

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: my baby Burt Reynolds

Yesterday I posted a picture from Nate's three month professional photo session.  It's adorable, happy, and precious.

But there was also this one:

Tell me this one doesn't say, "Heyyyy ladies, wanna check out my crib?"  Tell me I'm not going to have to worry about his future dating life and I'll tell you that I ordered a print of this picture just so it can be the one that goes in his senior yearbook.

Friday
Jul232010

The Mommy Brain: they don't explain

As my pregnancy progressed, I got progressively more forgetful.  I was told and read that this is because the baby is taking all of your energy and/or you're so preoccupied with the baby that everything else seems less important.  (For what it's worth, I think it's both.)  What I was also continually told, though, was that it got worse once the baby was born.

Now, I took this to mean that my memory would get worse - that I would get more forgetful.  But, no, this is not what they mean by mommy brain.  No one actually tells you what the truth behind mommy brain is.  But I'm a good friend like that so I'm going to share.

Mommy brain is the complete inability to focus on anything 100%.  I feel as though never again will I be able to focus on something without Nate being somewhere on my mind.  If he's near me, I have one eye and one ear on him at all times (unfortunately for my conversation partners).  If for some reason he's not near me (I went out and left him home with the hubby), my mind is half on him the entire time I'm out and I probably have my phone in my hand just in case the hubby texts or calls with a question or emergency.

I am no longer ever fully in the moment except, of course, when I'm entirely focused on Nate, like when I'm holding him and we're "talking" (I talk to him and he coos and oohs and ahhs back - he's quite the conversationalist!).  In those moments, I'm 100% in the moment with Nate.  But beyond that, he's always got half of me.

We were attached and so I truly feel like he's a part of me that has been separated from my being.  A year ago, I would have thought that statement was utterly ridiculous and completely over-emotional.  Now?  I think it every day.  Every time I change his diaper and look at his belly button and tell him that's where he and mommy were connected, tears come to my eyes. 

(I really need to cut this out because 1 - I don't want his subconscious baby memories of me to be me always crying and 2 - if I keep telling him this, he's going to ask sooner than later where babies come from, which I won't be ready to discuss for another, oh, gazillion years.  Well, okay, maybe a little less than a gazillion.)

Two weeks from today I'm attending the BlogHer '10 conference.  (Yes, lil ol' me with my tiny little blog is going to BlogHer.  What can I say - it's 10 miles from my house and I was able to pay the student rate to go.  How could I not resist?  And then I won a guest ticket so Danielle of Delightfully Sweet could also go!)

The first day of the conference, there's a BlogHer Newbie Breakfast at 8am, which means getting on a bus to NYC by at least 7am.  Then there are sessions all day long, books and swag to investigate, and the Keynote, which ends at 6pm.  Then there's a reception, which may be interesting.  But basically, I'm going to be away from Nate for over 12 hours.

I haven't done that yet.  In fact, I haven't been away for more than three hours, I believe (three hours I spent running errands and grocery shopping).  And the hubby is working from 10:30am to 9pm that day, so my best friend, favorite photog, and Nate's soon-to-be godmother, Kate, will be babysitting for Nate.  I have zero worries about leaving Nate in Kate's more than capable hands.  In fact, it's Kate who taught me everything I ever learned about babysitting, so Nate probably owes quite a lot of his care to the things Kate helped me learn 15+ years ago.

Kate's not the issue.  My mommy brain is.  I want to LOVE BlogHer.  I want to have the BEST time.  I need the break.  I want to be completely in the moment.  But I know I won't be able to, so now I have to figure out how to live in the balance, how to live in two minds at once.

photo by Kate

I've been struggling lately with reconciling my new life with my old life.  It's hard to handle not being able to do certain things (like a spur of the moment bookstore run - or a spur of the moment anything, for that matter).  It's hard to know you'll probably never sleep in again for years.  It's hard to want a break SO badly but then spend the entire break worrying something is going wrong with the little one you want the break from.  I feel like a broken puzzle.

But parents have been managing this for as long as time has marched on, so I know I'll get the hang of it somehow, some day.  Back when I was 16, my driving instructor took me on the highway during my first driving lesson.  It was scary, but not unlike ripping a bandage off quickly.  Once it's done, it's done.

So the BlogHer conference is my highway, my bandage.  And I'm going to grit my teeth, smile, and just go for it.

Thursday
Jul222010

Drugstore outing: a scene

Location: a drugstore two miles from my home

Characters: me, Nate, drugstore cashier, various drugstore employees and customers

I enter the drugstore and plop Nate's car seat carrier into a shopping cart.  We wheel to the pharmacy where I pick up and pay for my thyroid medicationWe then wheel through to the front of the store, pick up some Coke Zero, pretzel M&Ms, and gum*, and head for the register.

Cashier: Hello, did you find everything you needed?

Me: Yes, thank you.

Cashier [leaning over the counter to look at Nate]: Oh, how old?

Me [feeling pride at managing this shopping trip]: Two and a half months!  [I smile.]

Cashier: Ohhh. [Clucks tongue.]  And you took him out in this heat? [Clucks tongue again.]

Me [shocked]: Oh, well, you know, I had to pick up my prescription.

[Cashier looks at my soda, chocolate and gum. Then she looks at me.]

Me [singsong voice as I look at Nate]: And, you know, we're heading right back home to the air conditioning!

Cashier: That'll be $22.73.

I swipe my debit card, grab the items in one hand, Nate's car seat carrier in the other, and head out to the car.

Aaaand.. scene.

 

*Serious Coke Zero and mint gum addiction right now.  Can't get enough of either, but trying to get a hold on it.

Wednesday
Jul212010

A first outing for the record books

A week ago today I decided that it was time for Nate and I to make our first team excursion.  I'd driven him to my parents' house before, but that doesn't count since 1 - they live a mile away and 2 - my parents are there when I get there, duh.  It's extremely low risk.

But last Wednesday we were running low on formula.  We recently switched Nate from a brand name to the Babies R Us generic (our pediatrician said this was okay and it's great because we're saving tons of money - nearly 50%) so I wanted to go specifically to Babies R Us.  And of all the places to go with him, that feels second best to my parents' house because if I happen to forget something or run out of formula or diapers on the road for some reason, I'm at Babies R Us! I can just buy some!

What I didn't count on, though, was rain.  Not just rain.  Showers.  Torrential downpour.

I get Nate and I in the car.  He's dry because I draped a receiving blanket over his car seat carrier.  I'm wet because how was I going to hold an umbrella plus his carrier, the diaper bag, and my purse?  But we're in the car and we're going.

It's raining hard and getting harder as we go along.  As the rain begins to beat harder and harder, so does my heart.  Did I make a huge mistake?  As my car starts stuttering and acting up, my mind starts racing: what do I do if I get stuck?  It's one thing to be stuck by myself, even in a downpour.  But with a baby?  Am I a terrible mother for even attempting this outing?  Or am I being stupid?

About halfway there, after passing through two flooded sections of the highway and more car stuttering, I start tearing up.  I should have waited or just spent more for the name brand formula at the supermarket.  I felt stupid - and considered turning around a dozen times.

But we were out, so we stayed out.  We get to Babies R Us and it's raining hard.  I secure the blanket over him again and hustle into the store.  By the time we get in, I'm pretty soaked and Nate looks completely confused.  He makes a great confused/somewhat angry face:

At brunch on Sunday... and clearly displeased about not getting any pancakes.

But we're inside.  I load up with two cans of formula, a cute pair of sneakers for Nate, and a few other odds and ends.  We get to the register and I'm thinking about what route I should take home if the highway is still flooded . . . when I realize that my wallet is not in my purse.

Crap. Crap. Crappity crap crap.

So I tell the cashier that it might be in the car, but that if I'm not back in five minutes, just re-shelve my stuff.  I cover Nate up, dash out to the car, pop his carrier into the car seat, open the passenger door, and find my wallet on the passenger seat.  I put it in my purse, close the door, open up Nate's door, get him back out, and hustle back into the store.

Now, it was raining this whole time and I still had no umbrella so now I was really soaked.  It looked like I took a shower with my clothes on.  I couldn't even wipe my face dry because my shirt was soaked.

So I dripped my way back to the register and paid for my stuff.  Making small talk I say, "Wow, it's really coming down out there."  You know, as if my wet dog appearance didn't give that away.

But you know what the cashier says to me?  "Yes, but we need it."

We need it?  WE NEED IT?!  Well, okay, sure - we do, but... I'm soaking wet here, lady, with a very confused and semi-angry two month old strapped into his car seat like a fighter pilot, so I'm really not feeling any sympathy for the dry grass right now.  I just want to get home, get changed, and dry off.

Which is what I did.  I took an alternate road home (a toll road, but who cares - at least it wasn't flooded), brought Nate inside (who, thankfully, was sleeping), changed into sweats, and plopped onto the sofa with a snack.  Happy that was over and that we made it home alive and with what we headed out for, I swore to stay in for the night.

And then a text comes in from the hubby: Want to go over to my brother's house tonight?

Sure.  No problem.  *sigh*