Bookish Penguin

21 Months

2012-02-11T03:36:04Z

Dear Nate,

Today you are 21 months old. In just three months you'll be two years old! But right now you are so much fun that there's no need to look forward.

The most exciting thing right now is seeing what words you're learning. It seems like you have new words every day. Just this week alone, you started saying soon, milk, coffee, sleeves, Gamma (grandma), color, night-night, and off. You roar when you see a lion in a book and say cock-a-doodle-doo when you see a rooster. And you're learning how to express yourself better, too. You negate things by adding "no." When you can't find or see something, it's "no see." When it's something you're not supposed to eat (like crayons, ahem), it's "no eat." When you didn't want me to go to work the other day, it was, "Mama, no go away." (Broke my heart.) It's so exciting to see you put together new words, to see the look in your eyes as you put together what they mean and realize you're effectively communicating something to us.

You also still love to give hugs and kisses. You still love Curious George and Thomas the Tank Engine. But Grammy and Pop-Pop bought you a little Percy train, and he is your new love. When you misplaced him that same day, you whined, "Percy! Percy! Percy!" for half an hour until we found him - and we didn't even know you knew Percy's name or how to say it! You have always surprised us and continue to do so.

What's no surprise but a continual source of entertainment and delight is how you love to be physically active. Every night you run laps around the kitchen island after dinner. You love to hide, although when I ask you if you're hiding, you peek out and say, "No" so there's a bit of learning still to do there, but I laugh every time. You love to crash things together, so you often run your shopping cart around and slam it into other toys, chairs, walls - or even us... basically whatever's in your way. I think the day we can finally take you on some real bumper cars is going to be the highlight of your early life.

You are giving us a little preview - well, okay, a substantial preview - of the infamous Terrible Twos. When you aren't happy about having to do something, you immediately throw yourself on the floor, roll on your back and say, "Owww." But you haven't really hurt yourself because you actually lay yourself down quite gingerly, which is hysterical. You also throw things when you're angry, which is extra difficult at dinnertime as your dinner hits the floor. But dinnertime is already difficult because, man, are you a strange, picky eater right now. You often refuse some of your favorite foods, or you'll love a food one day and then not the next. Or you'll refuse it at lunchtime but then eat it at dinnertime. I know the picky eating won't last forever, but right now it is the hardest thing we have to deal with because it's so hard to plan meals, never knowing if you'll eat it or fling it on the floor. But I've found that if I just sit back calmly and ignore your antics while you refuse to eat, eventually (at least half the time) you'll taste the food and then end up eating most of it. Tonight you threw a huge handful of noodles on the floor before going on to eat the rest of them as well as a whole pork chop. So maybe you're just trying to exercise portion control? But you're eating enough and you get good nutrients every day, so I'm not stressing about it.

And you're not struggling to grow, so that's not a worry. You're still in 2T shirts and pants, although a few of those 2T shirts are starting to get a little small. You're wearing size 6 diapers and show very few signs of interest in potty training. You're still in size 7 sneakers, though they're getting small. Size 8 might be on the horizon.

Every day with you is so exciting. Every day I am so anxious to come home and spend time with you, running around the kitchen, hiding behind chairs, and trying to get you to help clean up (work in progress). Regardless of what we're doing, you are a delight and every day is more joyful than the last.

We love you, Peanut!

Love,
Mommy

Bapple

2012-02-10T02:59:25Z

Nate's vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds lately. He's never been the most verbal child. He literally runs laps around the kitchen every night, has been climbing since he could pull himself up to a standing position, and seems to have been born with a pre-programmed sports chip. Give him a ball of any type and he seems to know what to do with it. Soccer ball? Dribbled it with his feet down the hallway. Basketball? Put it through the toddler hoop. Swiffer? Used to slapshot toys across the dining room. I can't wait to see what he does with a t-ball set.

But words? They've been less important. Nate's had enough to get by and, as an only child, he rarely has to indicate more than once what he wants before we either get it for him or explain why he can't have it. It's like the legend about Einstein, who supposedly didn't speak until he was 4 years old because, as he put it, everything was satisfactory until then.

But lately? We get a new word - or words - every day. Sun, moon, soon, gamma (grandma), a much more insistent "night night" than before... his words are ramping up like crazy, and it's awesome. The other day he said, "Mama, no go way" which is Nate-speak for don't go away - i.e. don't leave for work. I could have cried. (Okay, maybe I did once or twice that day.) When we get in the car, he says, "Go go go!" which makes me laugh every time.

But my favorite word is bapple, which is Nate's current form of "apple." It's quite possibly the cutest word I've ever heard.

I just adore toddler-speak; I really do. It's definitely one of those phases I'm in no rush to get past. And I can't wait to see what else Nate has to say. This is easily one of the most fun parts of parenting thus far.

Being a Student of Fear

2012-02-09T02:00:14Z

two certification exams foreign language translation ability the dissertation

7 Quick Tuesday Takes

2012-02-07T18:39:37Z

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1. Do I have the only destructo-toddler? I read about people who give their iPads to their toddlers to watch videos and play games and my heart lurches because if I did that, my iPad would be dropped or flung across the room within a few minutes, no doubt. Who are you people with these non-destructive toddlers?

2. Yes, there is a huge celebration today for a bunch of guys who won a big football game. Yes, we should have an even bigger celebration for the troops who have returned home. No, these ideas don't need to be oppositional. We can (and should) have them both.

3. Freezer burritos are such an awesome thing. No lunch ideas? Too tired to pack lunch? Boom! Freezer burrito, at the ready.

4. I don't understand why everyone goes bonkers over red velvet (even outside Valentine's Day, it's always one of the best selling cupcakes according to a lot of vendors). But it's just cake. Red cake. But still just cake. (And I can take or leave cake.)

5. I'm hoping to get approval to take a day off next week to get my hair cut and highlighted. It will be my first haircut in 6 1/2 months and first highlights in nine months. Here's hoping my 2012 finances and time management are better than 2011's.

6. There's a restaurant in my town that's had a "Re-Grand Opening" sign up for months. Every time I drive past it, I want to go in and yell at them, "Grand RE-OPENING! Grand RE-OPENING! You can't re-grand something!" But I haven't done it yet. I think this confirms that I'm doing a fair job of keeping myself in check.

7. I have a good feeling about February. I think it's going to be a better month than the past few have been. Ever just have a good feeling about a chunk of time?

Too Pale for Twilight

2012-02-06T21:20:25Z

I recently went to see my doctor to check on my thyroid. Turns out I'm low in Vitamin D (hello, I never go outside) so I'm taking a Vitamin D prescription (in addition to my thyroid and iron prescriptions) and will go for follow-up bloodwork later this week to see if my thyroid, iron, and Vitamin D levels are behaving themselves.

But what do those three issues have in common? Tiredness. And paleness. So even when I'm content, I look like this:

I would try out for Twilight, but I don't sparkle. At least I have color in my cheeks. And I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted soon, which should help me not look like a member of the living dead.

And poor little Nate has my skin tone, I think. I'm looking forward to summer - fun in the sun (with sunscreen, of course). I'm really grateful for the mild winter we've had, mostly because it means our heating bills haven't been a nightmare, but I'm also just not in the mood for winter this year. I want spring. For the first time in a long time (or possibly ever), I want summer. I'll still be pale, but maybe my sunscreen can be sparkly.

Silent Clean-Up

2012-02-05T18:05:20Z

When you crawl on the floor, picking toys up and putting them in their places without making a sound, barely breathing, because you're over 20 minutes into naptime and you still hear a certain someone playing in the crib and it's Super Bowl Sunday so you're really hoping he hangs in past bedtime tonight, which means a good nap is a huge must-have.

So you're crawling around, being careful not to set off any toy that makes noise so that certain someone doesn't think you're out here playing without him and insists on joining you. Once he's been quiet for a few minutes and it's clear he's asleep, then it's time to relax.

Getting Ready for the Big Game

2012-02-05T00:45:40Z

We can see Giants Stadium (well, now Metlife Stadium, I think... ew, hate corporate naming) from our house, so, obviously, we are rooting for the Giants tomorrow.

This is the best picture I could get of Nate with his Giants sweatshirt. Every other picture was a blur. Only the Fig Newton kept him still for these two seconds.

Is one done?

2012-02-04T01:35:57Z

I've always been grateful that so many of my friends got married and had a child around the same time we did. I never really felt that whole "ticking clock" thing all that much and never really had to worry about the, "Soooo, when are YOU having a child???" constant questioning (probably mostly because I was pregnant by our first anniversary).

But now, many people are starting to move on to child #2. Even my nephew asked my sister why Nate doesn't have a little sister. (Since he has a little sister, I guess he thinks that's optimal.) If money was no object, I'd be ready to have another. I want Nate to be a big brother and not an only child. I don't have any judgments about only children, but having grown up with siblings myself, that's something I want for Nate, too. I'm the oldest of three; the hubby is the oldest of four - and both of us have good relationships with our siblings and continue to be grateful for those relationships. And being an aunt to my sister's children is one of my favorite things in life. Being an aunt, period, is so much fun - but it's different when they're your sibling's children. It feels like too large of a statement to make, but in a way I feel like her kids are a tiny bit mine, too, and since Nate doesn't have siblings, his cousins are the closest thing he has - and he has SO much fun with them.

Parents are crazy; we all know this. It's the circle of life, really. You see your grandparents drive your parents crazy... and then one day your parents are the grandparents and you're thinking, "Geez, I'm being driven crazy!" (Though, hopefully, there are many years between those occurrences.) And quite possibly the best argument I've heard for having more than one child is that then he or she won't have to deal with you alone, or be left alone after you and your partner die. Of course, by then, you hope they have a whole network of loved ones, but no one knows your parents as well as you and your siblings do. No one else knows what daily life at home was like - what was honored, what was discouraged, what was funny, what was treasured.

I can see many benefits to having only one child - less financial stress, easier parenting, the benefit of all of your attention on that one child. But, for me, I think my experience with my brother and sister and the benefits I see in having siblings outweighing the benefits to only children. I feel lucky to have siblings and I hope, one day, that Nate is that lucky, too.

NaBloPoMo
Friday, February 3, 2012
Do you have any siblings? What are they like?

In the grooves

2012-02-02T17:31:56Z

A photoblogger I follow recently started using a film camera, moving "backward," if you will, from digital. When she posted the pictures online, it was so apparent that they were film and not digital.

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When music moved from vinyl to CD, purists complained that CDs changed the music, that you can't get all of music's flow and nuances from digital music because when you break it down to the most basic level, you're getting bit and bytes of the music, not the smooth, uninterrupted flow of the needle on vinyl.

I think photography is the same. A film picture feels fuller to me, more rounded - like everything is there. Digital pictures are astoundingly crisp (and I love that about them) but I think maybe life isn't as crisp as those photos tell us. I feel like years from now I'm going to look back and all of these digital photos are going to feel somewhat untrue.

My dad is a photographer so when I first had these thoughts, I rushed to my email and wrote him a long note and then kept checking my inbox, waiting for his reply. I'm not good at taking pictures, but I do love to talk about the art of photography.

A few days ago, the aforementioned blogger posted a photo of her hands holding her film camera. As I looked at it on my iPad, Nate ran over and said, "Pop-Pop! Pop-Pop!" My sister's kids make the same connection, too. Pop-Pop means pictures, so much so that sometimes I call my dad the "Pop-Pop-parazzi." But the kids love it - and I love having so many pictures of them.

While in my heart I might feel that digital photographs hold little lies or withhold other truths, they still hold a place, filling in spaces in our memories.

NabloPoMo
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tell us about your father.

Things to do by now

2012-02-01T16:50:36Z

You know it's been a while between blog posts (22 days but who's counting) when you type the first letter of your URL into your browser and your site doesn't come up. Not first. Not at all.

As Nate would say, "Oopsie." (Except he pronounces it "oop-shee." So completely adorable.)

So, oopshee. But not really since it's not like not blogging was an accident. It was more of a funk. I find that few people enjoy reading blog posts that complain and whine and for the month of January, I was doing a lot of that in my head and couldn't shake it off enough to write anything worth your time, really.

Post-holiday funk, no money funk, busy-schedule-no-time-for-my-marriage funk, missing springtime funk... you know, January. But the thing about a funk is that it makes you want to sit and stew, which is really a way of saying you're thinking, which I do all the time, but stewing is more like thinking with a healthy dash of grumbling and, "Now how do I fix all this or have the patience for it to pass?"

And the thing about thinking is that if you have your mind open, you'll start to see things coming together. Things rise to the surface. One theme I've seen a lot of just this week is talk about things we wish we could do by now. If I had a podcast, that would be what this week's episode was about. (But I don't have a podcast, so you are all spared.)

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There are many things I should be able to do by now that I really can't. Among these things are: really clean well (not just surface clean), carry on a phone conversation without getting antsy, and cook with confidence.

Today's NabloPoMo topic (spoiler: I'm going to give NabloPoMo a try this month to get back into my blogging groove) is "Tell us about your mother" which I can't say, even in my head, without doing a cheesy Freud accent. (I know I can't be alone in that.)

I don't like to write much about other people other than Nate, whose life I feel a bit of ownership over. So my mother's stories are hers, to share or not as she wishes. But one thing I can say without a doubt or feeling of theft is that she is a confident cook.

When I see a recipe on TV that I want to try: I go online, print it out, get all my ingredients ready, and try.

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When my mom sees a recipe on TV that she wants to try: she goes into the kitchen and does her best to remember what they did on the show. No notes, no recipe, winging it.

I'm pretty sure I can't do that. I'm pretty sure I'd create something non-enjoyable and waste groceries and have to call for last minute pizza. My mom? Somehow she creates something that tastes even better than the end result looked on TV.

I'm getting more confident. I used to be pretty sure I couldn't even follow recipes because I didn't have a good understanding of how different food items interacted and related to each other, and to the heat of cooking. Now at least I'm confident that I can follow a recipe well, even one that is labeled "difficult."

I can't just wing it in the kitchen, though. I can't look through my pantry and fridge and create a dish out of what I see unless it's something I've made before, but that's where I want to get. Sometimes I see recipes and think, "That would be great if I just changed X and Y" ... and then I do... and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. But I'm not afraid to try, so there's some confidence there.

Having confidence doesn't mean trying only when you know you'll triumph. Having confidence really means trying when you know you might fail - and being okay about that because in the failure is growth and learning.

So , February 2012 NabloPoMo, I'm trying.