A Sober Year

One year ago today, someone very close to me did an incredibly brave thing and entered rehab for substance abuse.

On this day last year, I was so grateful that they took this step but I was worried - very, very worried - that rehab wouldn't work, that it wouldn't "stick."  And when the insurance company made them leave rehab after only a week, I was sick with worry.  I hoped with all the hope my body and mind could muster that the help they received in-patient and the help they would continue to receive out-patient would be enough, but I wasn't convinced.

Today, I'm thrilled to say that it was enough.  We've made it a year - and even though it was this one particular person's journey, I say "we" because it was a group effort, involving family and friends.  We've gone a full year, which means we've gone through every holiday - some where people were aware of the situation and some where they were not and so they did not alter their behavior around this person and this person had to confront living with other people who can still partake in activities that they no longer can.

I thought that would be the hard part because I know it would be for me.  Just being pregnant and choosing not to drink alcohol at all during the pregnancy was difficult.  I was cranky on holidays and New Years and St. Patrick's Day because I felt left out.  This person, however, faced similar situations and you would never know they had a problem and you would never notice they weren't partaking.  It's been amazing to witness.

I'm still frustrated that something like this has shame attached to it when, really, it's far braver to face your problems, admit them, and work hard to solve them.  It's much easier to deny and run and yet we don't give enough value to facing these problems, in my opinion.

At every turn, I expected to see struggle... but I didn't.  For a long time I thought it was more of a brave face than anything else, but it actually was just true bravery and strength.  Eventually, I stopped worrying, which I never thought would happen before a year passed.

But then one recent day happened.  One day that I can't get into detail about because, you know, we can't talk about details, but on a day that I was very directly involved with, this person faced the hardest moment of the year and very, very nearly broke their sobriety.

But they didn't.  They kept their faith and believed in their own strength and decided not to throw away what at that point was nearly a year's sobriety.  Until they told me later in the day that they thought about breaking their sobriety, it hadn't occurred to me to worry about that.  I had spent the day dwelling in my own reactions to what had happened (again, I wish I could go into detail, but I can't) and hadn't thought to worry.

But that was because my faith has grown now, too.  Because of this person's recovery, I see them completely differently now.  Certainly very differently than I did a year ago, but also very differently than five or ten years ago, as well.

The wisdom I come out of this with is this: remember that we all falter sometimes, stick by the people who need your help, and have faith that they can do incredible things.