Yes, thank you very mu--- hello?

I've been spending a lot of time on the phone with PSE&G lately (our gas and electric folks for those of you outside the area) due to the obnoxiously high bill we received this month, which is nearly $400 HIGHER than what we already thought was an obnoxiously high (and incorrect) bill last month.  The situation is ongoing and probably won't be resolved for a while, but thankfully we have a landlord who understands that we didn't sign up to pay this much for utilities.

But what this means is that I've spent a lot of time talking to an automated voice.  "Does your last name begin with the letters B-O-T?"  "No."  "Please state your account number."

You know the drill.  Or I'm assuming you know the drill.  In fact, I assumed most people knew the drill until I came across my lunchtime companion yesterday.  He had his cell phone up so loud (as this sort of person usually does) so I could hear everything the automated system was saying.

System: Briefly, please state your problem.

Now, those of us familiar with these issues know that you give a one-to-three word answer here.

Him: Well, my washing machine isn't working right and it's making this funny noi--

System: *boooop* I'm sorry; I didn't understand.  Briefly, please state your problem.

Him: I SAID, my washing machine is making this noise and I don't kno--

System: *boooop* I'm sorry, I didn't understand.  Would you like to speak to a representative?

Him: Yes, that's what I'm trying to do so that would be very ni--

System: *boooop* I'm sorry, I didn't understand.  Would you like to speak to a representative?

Him: That's exactly what I'm trying to do, thank you ver--

System: *boooop* Please hold while we transfer you to a representative.

Him:  I don't understand why this is taking so long.

At this point I am nearly snarfing in my packed ziti lunch.  He proceeds to finally get a representative, at which point he proceeds to tell her he doesn't know anything about the problem, just that his wife asked him to call because the washing machine is making a chugga-chugga-chugga noise, but he thinks all machines make those noises depending on what you put in the mach---

And the representative kindly cuts him off to ask what kind of machine he has, to which he responds, "I don't know!  I just said, my wife is the one with the problem."

Oh indeed, sir, I do believe your wife certainly lives with a problem.