Taking One for the Team

The hubby hugged me.  "Don't worry honey, when we're done, I'll take one for the team."

This after I was a crabass all weekend and snapped, "What do you WANT?" when he came to say hi while I was washing the dishes.  "What's the matter?"  "UGH.  I just HATE doing dishes."  I do hate doing dishes, but what I really hated was everything. else. in. our. life.  Our apartment, our schedule, what the hubby watches on TV, how he holds Nate's bottle.  Ev.ery.thing.

This, my friends, is the effect of hormonal birth control.  Sigh.  When I went off it last summer, it was like coming out of a fog; I felt so good.  I wasn't irrationally angry during PMS.  I felt spirited and happy and very connected to the hubby.

Now it's sort of like how I feel about being thin.  I remember it well, but it's a bit hazy.  I know it was great. I know I was happy.  I know it was easier.  I know I didn't want to go back.

But it's hard to have other options.  Sure, I could try hormonal birth control methods other than the ring, but I really don't feel like fiddling around.  In addition, I don't fully trust the pill because I've read that it's absorbed less effectively if you've had gastric bypass - and that's a chance I don't want to take.  There are barrier methods (condom, sponge, etc) but I don't like those for long term use.

So I'm stuck.  Maybe if it gets too unbearably miserable, I'll reconsider my position about the pill.  But I have to say, I am continually annoyed that there aren't easy, convenient, comfortable options that don't mess with one's hormones.  I know there are the barrier methods, but they're not exactly romantic.  And, really, I feel like being married means not having to deal with those inconveniences.  Is it unfair to theorize that if men had to deal with these raging moods and constant pregnancy fears that there would be an easier birth control method by now?

Oh wait, my husband does have to deal with these raging moods and fears - mine.  And there are female scientists.  So what's the deal?

The one my husband said he'll take for the team is the vasectomy he's volunteered to have once we're done having children.  I appreciate the sentiment, but that decision has its own host of issues.  How do we know when we're done?  What if we think we're done and a few years later, regret that decision?

It's not something I really have to worry about right now since we know we want at least one more child but definitely not yet (my doctor advised us to wait 18 months before getting pregnant again, which is okay by me).  I just hate these moods.  But for now, it's my turn to take one for the team so our team doesn't end up with another player too soon.