Nate's Birth Story - Part 5 - The Hospital Stay - When it got hard
Tuesday, May 18, 2010 at 3:42PM As I mentioned in Part 3, Monday was visitor central at the hospital. But then on Tuesday, it was mainly the hubby, me, and Nate - and the hubby had to leave for hours to take care of a bunch of things (getting the car seat in the car, packing a bag for himself for the next overnight, cleaning around the apartment). So it ended up being just me and Nate from about 9am to 6pm.
I only got three hours of sleep the night before because Nate wanted to feed frequently. So by Tuesday, the good pain meds had worn off, everyone was gone, and Nate still wanted to feed frequently. By 2:30pm I was sitting in the recliner in the hospital room, holding Nate, watching TV, and crying because I was tired and everything seemed quite overwhelming. I can deal with a lot of things, but being tired really does me in.
The great thing about Tuesday, though, was that I was allowed out of bed! Around noon they had taken off the boots (those massaging boots that help you avoid blood clots in your legs), removed the catheder, and disconnected my IV (although they left it in my arm in case it was needed over the next two days). But still, I was free! I was mobile! I finally got to change Nate's diaper! (Since I was pretty much chained to the bed Monday, the hubby had done all the diaper changing - and, I'll note, he did an amazingly awesome job.)
So I was happy about so many things, and still just overwhelmed by looking at the face of this little person we created. I can't be the first person to think it's the nearest thing we can do to being godlike. We create this life and then name it. It's so overwhelming and astounding to think about. The beauty of the whole thing is beyond words.
But in the real life moment of it all, it was hard. Wednesday was just like Tuesday, except Nate was feeding longer and more often. Sometimes he'd nurse for 60-90 minutes, snooze for 20-30 minutes, and then wake up screamingly hungry and nurse for another 60 minutes. Whenever someone texted to find out how I was and I mentioned I was tired, they said, "You have to sleep when the baby sleeps!" But... he wasn't sleeping. He would nap for 20 minutes and then be screaming hungry. I barely had time to go to the bathroom or eat my own meals.
Wednesday, I'm counting down the hours until the hubby returns when he calls and tells me my car is being weird so he's turning around and going back home, even though he was already just blocks from the hospital. Even though, just like Tuesday, I had already cried about being tired and not having more than three hours of sleep the night before and no naps because I was nursing all day, I cried again. What else did we need? I already spent over $5000 in repairs on my car a couple of months ago. The money we had saved up now needed to be used to cover what pay I was losing during my maternity leave - we don't have wiggle room for another car repair.
The hubby finally returned and was concerned that things didn't seem to be going well. Hours and hours went by. I spoke to the lactation consultant on Tuesday and Wednesday and she was wonderful. The hospital overall is VERY pro-breastfeeding so the staff was incredibly supportive and helpful and encouraging. But I couldn't help but feel like something wasn't working - we both felt like something was wrong. As encouraging as the hospital staff was, I was most happy to have the hubby's support in whatever I wanted to do and to also have him there to guide us through when I was too tired and emotional to see clearly.
So now, I was going to need his emotional support more than ever as we debated giving Nate a bottle.
Nate's Birth Story - Part 1, Delivery Day - Prep
Nate's Birth Story - Part 2, Delivery Day - The Prize!
Nate's Birth Story - Part 3, The Hospital Stay - Visitorville
Nate's Birth Story - Part 4 - The Name
Nate's Birth Story - Part 5, The Hospital Stay - When it got hard
From Breast to Bottle - My Story
Nate's Birth Story - Part 6 - The Hospital Stay - When it got scary
Nate, baby, birth story, breastfeeding, family in Baby, Health, family, life 
Reader Comments (1)
I'm intrigued by the cliff-hanger. Hopefully, the lactation consultant reassured you that first time mothers sometime have a 3-5 day delay for milk to come in. Those first days are full of lots of nursing time - giving the baby colostrum and suck - stimulation to "bring in" the milk. Personally, a few bottles spaced out over those days are not likely to cause nipple confusion in a healthy boy that's already a champ at the breast. (that's my opinion anyway)
By the way, if you are able to stick with nursing, you will save buckets of money, too. Good luck!