Pints and Peanuts

This is a pretty serious post, but just wait - there's a great joke at the end, I promise.

As I mentioned the other day, I had plans for pints and peanuts with some girlfriends.  Two out of the three ended up cancelling since they didn't feel well, but it worked out okay since the one friend who did come was the one I really wanted to spend time.

It's nothing against the other two; it's just that this friend and I (I'll call her "P") had some serious catching up to do.  We had a falling out a few years back and in-between the time we stopped talking and now, she got divorced (extremely painfully), I got married, and a hundred other big things happened (like my sister had a baby and I ended up being someone who now actually can enjoy the company of children).

It was hard to see someone who had been such a close friend appear so different after this span of time.  Everything about her is in shadow.  Her face is missing a lightness it always had, her eyes radiate sadness, and the wind seems to have been knocked out of her quite a while ago. 

It's quite hard to take all that in and not feel bad.  I could have been there.  I should have been there.  It's not one of those things where we sat down and said, "You know, I don't even remember what happened!"  No, we both very clearly remember what happened because it was all pretty serious.  I couldn't be there for her then, but I'm definitely here for her now.

I've always valued my friendships, even remaining friends with people my parents explicitly said were no good for me to be around.  I didn't have tons of friends growing up, so finding people who wanted to spend time with me and clearly enjoyed my company as I enjoyed their's was - and still is - thrilling.

The hubby doesn't drink, so "pints and peanuts" isn't something we do.  We never go out for drinks or split a bottle of wine, which is something I know so many couples do.  But maybe that's okay because then, for me, it's something special I share with my friends.  There is something awesome about whiling away the afternoon over drinks at a wine bar and having a lengthy conversation that vacillates between serious and funny, heart-wrenching and heartwarming.

The hubby is legally required to stick around unless he wants to pay a lot to leave.  Friends can just walk out, so the nurturing that great friendships need should not be overlooked and I'm looking forward to many more pints and peanuts sessions.  Not that marriages don't need nurturing (that's a whole other topic); it's just that we shouldn't forget that friendships do, too.

Now, for the funny part (I promised):

P was babysitting her friend's toddler (let's call him "T") one day.  T asked P to draw a picture of a cat but then chastized her, "Noooo, Aunt P, that's all wrong - there's no cat penis" as P sputtered, "Uh, um, oh, okay."

P's friends come home and she tells T to tell his parents what was wrong with Aunt P's picture of the cat.  T, very cheerily, says, "No penis!"  P looks expectantly at the parents and says, "Sooo... ?  Explanation?"

Well, T was being potty trained and so his parents were teaching him the difference between boys and girls.  "Daddy has a penis, but Mommy does not."  So of course, curious as kids are, T asks his dad, "Does Aunt P have a penis?"

Without missing a beat, the dad says, "No, honey, she divorced him."

Comments

[Tara]

Hahahahah! That's too funny!

I often forget that I need to put time into my friendships. I'm terrible at calling people back. After being long distance with the hubs for so long you would think that I would have learned how to keep in touch with people.

[Candice]

I am TERRIBLE at returning calls. Emails - I'm great. Phone calls? Not so much, mainly because I hate talking on the phone.

[Tara]

I don't even hate talking on the phone. I'm just a terrible procrastinator lol