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Saturday
06Feb2010

To all the cocktails I've loved before...

I don't remember when I found out that the new guy I liked/was dating didn't drink.  It's quite possible that it came up in one of our early IM conversations or on our first date but I truly don't recall.  This shows you  how much I love him because I'm sure it was a moment of, "Oh, well, this won't work then but he's sweet, so we'll just see where it goes for now."

It's not like I am or ever was an alcoholic, but I enjoy my frosty beverages (or in the case of the pints of Guinness I had in Ireland, my beautiful room temperature beverages).  Someone who didn't drink by choice was definitely a deal-breaker to me in my 20s.  Passes were given to recovering alcoholics; I certainly wasn't about to fault them for foregoing the bubbly at New Years.  But someone who chose not to drink for no reason other than, "I don't want to" ... ???  Completely foreign and distrusted concept to me.

You see, my best friend is Mike.

Kate's Converse, Mike's dress shoe, and my reception Converse at my wedding reception

Like, very very best friend.  So best that he was my "man of honor" at my wedding. 

But Mike is what I call the human tonic.  Not only is Mike an enthusiastic drinker, but he somehow has the magical ability, as if he is tonic, to allow you to drink more in his presence.  I kid you not.  Let's say my normal drink tolerance before I start to feel tipsy is three beverages.  If Mike is there, it easily becomes five or six - and then it'll be another three or four before I actually feel drunk.  I don't know how this works, but I swear to all that exists that it's true.

And it's not that Mike is your keg stand, beer funnel type of drinker (although I do recall a funnel in his dorm room, but that was for other people to enjoy).  Mike doesn't even actually enjoy beer that much; he's strictly a Jack Daniels man, with the occasional foray into good wines and exceptional cocktails like a fantastic bloody mary (he makes a great one).  Because of Mike, I have what can be best described as near-romantic feelings for Jack Daniels.  Just writing that, I can smell it so strongly it's like I have a glass right next to me.  It's real love.

But then along came the hubby and his "I don't drink" stance.  He doesn't like alcohol and it never gets him tipsy, nevermind drunk.  It's like he's impervious.  That kind of existence was beyond my comprehension and, for a while, beyond what I was willing to join myself to.  I dreaded telling Mike that my new boyfriend didn't drink just "because he doesn't want to."  I knew Mike's response: "That won't work, so long to him."

But somehow, we both (Mike and I) came around.  The tipping point occurred when I realized that this meant I had a guaranteed designated driver for life.  See, I'm a terrible, terrible designated driver.  I have a really hard time not drinking when others are imbibing - to the point that I'd rather just not go to whatever function it is than go and abstain.  But now, linked to the hubby, it was no longer a problem, ever!  (Even my parents have put his permanent designated driver status to use after family gatherings.)  Mike has made a quiet peace with it as well, although that doesn't mean he hasn't stopped trying to get the hubby to do car bombs or some shots of JD.  What happens then is that since the hubby won't do them and I'm his spouse, they default to me.  (Don't you love Mike's rules?)  So I end up with extra drinks, which I don't mind.  I know when to stop, anyway.  And I can slam a car bomb with the best of the boys.

And there have been compromises.  Apparently there was quite a bit of drinking at the hubby's bachelor party (I swear he came home a bit tipsy but he says no even though he drank a ridiculous amount of liquor) - and he sipped from the champagne for the toasts at our wedding - the only time I've specifically asked him to do such a thing and the only time I can think of that I ever will.

And, now?  Now I find myself in his boat since The Force is clearly not of drinking age.  I know people who have enjoyed the occasional glass of wine during their pregnancies, but I just can't do it, even though sometimes my mind is screaming for it.  Going out to our favorite restaurant (P.F. Chang's) has become torturous as I stare longingly at the drink menu, wanting a pear mojito like a junkie needs a fix.  When people ask me how the pregnancy is going and we have more than a 30 second conversation about it, I tend to say that the hardest thing is not having the occasional alcoholic beverage.  It's been nearly six months since my last drink - most definitely the longest I've gone without one since I turned nineteen or twenty.

Not that the peace of mind isn't worth it.  It definitely is, for me.  I'm a worrier and if The Force comes out with simply a hair out of place, I'm going to feel like it's my fault - that I did something during this pregnancy that affected him negatively.  And now, it's been remarkably helpful that the hubby is a teetotaler.  I've read too many posts about pregnant women having to watch their partners enjoy alcoholic beverages in their presence.  I'm not sure how well I would have handled that.  It's not that I need the alcohol, but it's kind of like a diet - simply because I can't have it, it makes it seem just all that much more tempting and lovely.

So as much as it's driving me bonkers, no wine and certainly no other alcoholic beverages until The Force sees the light of day.  I already told the hubby that our first post-baby dinner out will be to P.F. Chang's so I can have one of those pear mojitos.  Our first trip out of town will be to Baltimore, where Mike lives, so we can go to our favorite bar there and I can have the best espresso martini I have ever found.

Because after ten months of clean living, what could be better than coffee AND vodka?

This post is a part of Genie Alisa's Living Out Loud (LOL) series.

Friday
05Feb2010

Things I Miss Friday: not being appalled and angry

This week I finally told two of my coworkers that I'm pregnant and, of course, they asked me how I was doing/feeling.  My normal answer for this is that I feel really great and I've been pretty happy throughout the pregnancy - happier and less moody than I tended to be on a regular pre-pregnancy/on hormonal birth control basis.

So I have to wonder how I'd be feeling if some of the things I've read this week happened pre-pregnancy, because I've really been getting steamed up about a few things this week.

Our national bloviating douche, Rush Limbaugh, has the honor of the first two of this week's three irritations.

1 - Rush Limbaugh is a misogynistic jackass.  (Oh, you knew that already?)

Limbaugh was a judge for the Miss America pageant last week (I just have to skip over all that is wrong with that statement or else this post will go on for days).  He was on, what else, Fox and Friends to discuss this and, apparently, the state of women - wherein he said this:

"Oh, I’m a huge supporter of women. What I’m not a supporter of is liberalism. Feminism is what I oppose, and feminism has led women astray. I love women. I don’t know where all this got started. I love the women’s movement — especially when walking behind it."

Excuse me while I go barf violently.  YOU CANNOT SUPPORT WOMEN AND NOT SUPPORT FEMINISM.  And since when is it okay to say how you love women, especially their asses, AND NOT HAVE ANYONE SAY ANYTHING IN RESPONSE???

This makes me so angry that I actually am having slight chest pains right now thinking about it.  I understand that people in the media entertainment are going to say things just for shock value and ratings, but they should not be allowed to say harmful things and not have to answer for it.

Okay, deep breath.  Okay, two deep breaths.  Onto . . .

2. Rush Limbaugh is a lying-makes-things-up-as-he-goes-along jackass.  (Oh, you knew that, too?)

Limbaugh believes that President Obama's law school professors wrote his law review articles:

"I think this is the first time in his life that there’s not a professor around to turn his C into an A or to write the law review article for him he can’t write. He’s totally exposed and there’s nobody to make it better. I think he’s been covered for all his life. The fact that his agenda failed this year is the best thing that could have happened to this country."

Can you weep and fume at the same time?  It must be possible, because that's where I'm at.  Like Obama or not, the one thing that I have seen no sane people disagree with is that he's a good writer and orator (disclosure: I think he's a great writer and orator - probably the best we have seen/will see for quite some time).  The notion that he needed his professors to turn Cs into As or write articles for him is incredibly preposterous.  AND, let's say you don't believe the President is an accomplished writer; as a college professor and graduate school student, I can add that the likelihood of something like this EVER occurring is so remotely, remarkably slim - especially in law school.  Could there be a group of people more aware of the legal ramifications of such behavior?

I simply have a hard time reconciling the idea that there are no repercussions for this type of blatant lying and misogyny in "the media" (I really don't even want to call them just plain media anymore).  There's always been sensationalism and we've always laughed at publications like The Enquirer and the Weekly World News but now it's mainstream news organizations LYING on a regular (seemingly daily) basis.  I just flat-out don't know what to do with this.

3. Boycott Diesel clothing and write them an email explaining that sexual exploitation should not sell clothes.

Our third aggravation of the week comes from clothing company Diesel.  They have a new campaign entitled "Be Stupid," which is supposed to encourage teens and young adults to not be afraid to "be stupid" - by which they mean to be fearless, be willing to make mistakes, and anti-perfectionist.  But, then wouldn't that be smart??

But besides that, the cornerstone ad for the campaign shows a young woman flashing her breasts at a security camera.  Because that's fearless?

And, to boot, it says, "Smart may have the brains, but stupid has the balls."  Because, 1 - you need balls to be brave (hi misogyny AGAIN), and 2 - you simply can't be smart AND brave.  All of those explorers and inventors and innovators must have been a huge slew of dumb-dumbs, I guess.  (Auuuuugh.)

It's DUMB, for sure - they got that part right.  And it's a mistake - a mistake to fall for the patriarchal, misogynistic idea that flashing your breasts whenever you want is an empowering move.  Yes, loving your body is empowering.  Yes, claiming your breasts as a beautiful part of you that you are free to share as you wish is empowering and smart.  But I do not believe for a single, solitary moment that all of the encouraged flashing in our current culture is meant to empower girls.  Simply, no.  It's exploiting them under the guise of empowerment.

To see the ad (it's so offensive to me that I simply didn't want to post the picture here) and the WeAreTheRealDeal take on it as well as get the contact information for who to complain about this ad to, go to Heather (mamav)'s post about it on WeAreTheRealDeal.

Sigh.  This is such a downer of a post for a Friday, I know.  Fridays should be all, "Yay, weekend!" but it's just not today.  Plus, I have to work tomorrow so that makes it feel less weekend-y.  I promise I'm in a better mood than this post suggests - but these things make me angry and I feel like they shouldn't go unmentioned.

Thursday
04Feb2010

Yay, newlyweds!

The hubby and I are featured over at Newlyweds-blog.com today!

Head over and check it out!  If you're newly married or are going to be soon, I highly suggest submitting your name to Sweet Pea (the site's bloggess) because completing the interview was really, really fun.

Thanks, Sweet Pea, for this opportunity!

Thursday
04Feb2010

Dear BabyCenter: Duh.

Dear BabyCenter:

While I appreciate all the little tidbits of info you've provided over the past six months (My baby is now the size of "an average rutabaga?" Thanks!  If I had ever seen a rutabaga in person, that would be helpful, although I thank you for the link to a picture of a rutabaga - that does help), I sometimes wonder who your perceived audience is because you include things in your emails that seem pretty obvious.

Like this week, you told me to avoid contact sports.  No kidding.  Darn, there goes that game of tackle football I had planned for Super Bowl Sunday.  I guess it'll just have to be table tennis instead.

And it's still okay to exercise?  Well, phew.  And here I was worried I'd have to put on my nineteenth century garb and start bedrest soon.  Oh, but I should stop if I feel any pain, dizziness or shortness of breath?  Good advice because, normally, when I exercise and feel pain and dizziness I just keep trucking on through, health be damned.

Oh, and picking out a name for our baby is important?  Thanks for the reminder because I was just going to name him after the first hospital orderly that went by after the birth.  Oh, and I should look at some baby name books for ideas?  Is that what those big stores with all the books inside hold, books?  I can look at them?  Wait, buy them and take them home?  No way!  Wait, and there are even more sites online that I can use for FREE?  It's like Christmas!

Seriously, BabyCenter - it may have taken me five minutes to remember the words "malpractice insurance" in a conversation today but I'm not braindead.  Just some of my vocabulary is on permanent siesta.

And email after email about how my hair is currently full and luxurious?  Also not helpful because mine is not.  It is still the same bone straight, stick thin hair I've always had.  So please stop telling me it's going to fall out after I give birth because then it's, what, not even stick thin but twig thin?

Regards,

Bookish Penguin

PS - Next week The Force is an English hothouse cucumber?  How exotic!

Wednesday
03Feb2010

Pregnancy - Week 25: How'm I doing?

Any New Yorkers get the subject line reference?

Last week I realized that I didn't know when the third trimester technically begins.  This whole 9-months-no-really-10/40 weeks divided by three thing is too much math for me.  But after some Googling, it seems that the most common start week for the third trimester is 28 weeks, so I have three weeks to go.  This is good because I don't really feel third-trimester-pregnant yet, if that makes any sense.

But then yesterday Fit Pregnancy sent me an email welcoming me to my 25th week and the third trimester.  What?  They're just crazy and wrong, right?  Although the symptoms fit because I'm finding myself more tired than usual again (though not as tired as I was the first trimester) and I'm starting to have difficulty sleeping because I get uncomfortable, though I can't explain why or how, and whatever side I'm sleeping on, that leg begins to ache around 5am and I wake up and have to roll over.  I'm also totally uncomfortable sleeping on my stomach now, which I didn't even notice until my legs started aching at 5am.

None of this is unbearable, though.  It could best be described as the equivalent of having a runny nose.  It's annoying, but not worth talking about that much.  (I'll add, by the way, that my nose is still being terribly annoying but I'm just living with the constant crustiness and exaggerated sense of smell.  It is what it is, but I'm looking forward to having a normal nose again.)  I've also been extra weepy over the past week, easily crying at anything that touched me emotionally or made me upset.  I stopped wearing waterproof mascara years ago because it was too hard to remove daily, but I'm thinking I might want to go back for the next few months.

I wore my belly band over my pants to work for the first time yesterday and spent most of the day adjusting it because it kept moving.  Maybe it'll fit better as my belly gets bigger and I'm not folding the band over as much?  And so far no coworkers have asked me if I'm pregnant, which means I either don't yet really look pregnant or I have very nice, sensitive co-workers who know not to ask the question unless they're sure.

All in all, with fifteen weeks to go (oh holy crap, only fifteen weeks??), I feel great.  I've been reading a lot about labor and delivery, making up my mind about what I do and do not want to happen (within reason, of course) and thinking a lot about actually raising this baby/child and all the choices involved.  The labor stories freak me out a lot since I'm not so good with pain, but I keep telling myself there's really nothing I can do to avoid that part now since we made this decision.  (By the way, when the pregnancy test came back positive all the way back in August, the thought of painful labor was probably the second thing I thought of after, "Oh my god.")  What I do want to do is make an effort to be more active, though.  Walking in the city and taking the stairs at school will help, as will walking the dog and trying to find time for my Wii Fit (and hoping Buster doesn't chew on it).

For now it's times to adjust the belly band AGAIN and get to work.